"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

itcantgetworse

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day 5 done ,still good seem to have got the hang off controling my emotions and thinking logic feels much better feeling human again smiling seem to have more energy and had a good night sleep :up:
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

j0504s

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Day 15, woke up today feeling kinda ****ty. but its passed for the most part. im hvaing trouble getting back to truly happy self. I seem to stay upset or ok rarly very happy again, I mask my pain well at work guess fake it till i make it. Im gonna start up again prob saturday been 5-6 weeks now its time to try and get back on that horse. Ive been helping a friend and trying to get my old mindset and beliefs back...but its a process nothing is instant in heart break...
 

itcantgetworse

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day 6 done ,had hangover today they suck as they make me emotional but i got through it also its friday the main day we use to spend together without kids never mind onwards and upwards ignore ignore delete forget
 

Fatal Jay

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one girl I nc 2 weeks, the other 3 weeks

the one that is 2 weeks, her sister came on my job and we talked about her,and I told her sister she need to get her **** together before we got on speaking terms

did I break nc?
 

Purefilth

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Fatal Jay said:
one girl I nc 2 weeks, the other 3 weeks

the one that is 2 weeks, her sister came on my job and we talked about her,and I told her sister she need to get her **** together before we got on speaking terms

did I break nc?
Technically - no.

Are these girls you got dumped by both th the same time?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Fatal Jay

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Purefilth said:
Technically - no.

Are these girls you got dumped by both th the same time?
Well the 2 weeks I dumped her

The 3 weeks we was intimate but was not dating, we got into a fight one night and haven't talked since

I was in fact talking to them at the sometime though
 

Purefilth

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Fatal Jay said:
Well the 2 weeks I dumped her

The 3 weeks we was intimate but was not dating, we got into a fight one night and haven't talked since

I was in fact talking to them at the sometime though
It sounds like you've just NEXTed both of them tbh.

The 3 week one sounds like its well over.


How long was the relationship? Do you WANT to salvage it?
 

Fatal Jay

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Purefilth said:
It sounds like you've just NEXTed both of them tbh.

The 3 week one sounds like its well over.


How long was the relationship? Do you WANT to salvage it?

yeah the 3 weeks was over before it started, the 2 weeks she was boring and expected too much she she did little, so no I wouldn't want to salvage unless he gave more, but if not I wouldn't care much to be back with her.
 

Purefilth

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Fatal Jay said:
yeah the 3 weeks was over before it started, the 2 weeks she was boring and expected too much she she did little, so no I wouldn't want to salvage unless he gave more, but if not I wouldn't care much to be back with her.
Sounds like you just need to pick up a few more plates and you're golden then :up:
 

sadonomspa

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Been nc since New Years Day when she contacted me and I caved in. She hasn't attempted to contact me which is good because iam still feeling weak.
What's cool is that iam remembering more and more bad stuff and actually slept well last night. I now have a girl that's much nicer and prettier which is cool. We are going out Monday.
We have been texting back and fourth for a few days now. Iam so greatful to have days like this.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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itcantgetworse

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7 days nc really fine today party later waiting on a girl to say yes to come with me more to do with getting back the art of chat etc
 

itcantgetworse

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just starting day 8 nc ,the girl never came the party think it was because she was worried it just being a rebound ,party was rubbish not many there this dipped my mood too much to drink then seen something i didnt like nearly lost it and done something stupid but i hung in there and didnt woke up today reflect on last night and happy i didnt do anything silly lesson i must be carefull on drink as it can set me back still need more healing time so heres to day 8
 

itcantgetworse

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8 day nc complete ,think i will get sex later just dont want her thinking i wanna a relationship with her :crazy:
 

j0504s

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day 19, its been tough...I'm going to run into her b/c of this event...idk if i should go or not, b/c im going to see her and her parents, Her parents love me and i feel obligated to say hi to them...its osmething i goto every month and she doesnt always go, but i know she is this month. I dont want her to feel she has power over me b/c if i dont go she will know why??! am i wrong? She knows it will be wierd if i dont go...it been tough. Idk if shes been trying to contact me anymore b/c i blocked her number after her call on christmas asking me if i miss having sex with her telling me i should be with her, and that she cant get over me...only to say she is dating someone else...im confused on what to do...I ve been missing her alot i wont lie it still sucks....
 

Purefilth

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sounds kinda BPD^^^
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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j0504s

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Purefilth said:
sounds kinda BPD^^^
the girl is bpd...any suggestions on what to do, and if i go how to act?
 
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CostaDeSol

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j0504s said:
the girl is bpd...any suggestions on what to do, and if i go how to act?
You sound like you are still pretty heated about her.

If I were you, I wouldn't go. Kind of passive aggressive, but if someone pisses me off than I REALLY won't want to see their face or have to speak to them.


But if you do go, keep your calm, say hi to her if you have to and make small chat, but then avoid her. I wouldn't want to talk to her anymore if she had mentioned her lays to me, like she did with you.
 

j0504s

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CostaDeSol said:
You sound like you are still pretty heated about her.

If I were you, I wouldn't go. Kind of passive aggressive, but if someone pisses me off than I REALLY won't want to see their face or have to speak to them.


But if you do go, keep your calm, say hi to her if you have to and make small chat, but then avoid her. I wouldn't want to talk to her anymore if she had mentioned her lays to me, like she did with you.
ya im am still heated...she ****ed with my head so bad...the true reason i stayed out of exclusive relationship, I really dont want her to feel empowered. I know i shouldnt care but i still do. I miss her alot more then i anticipated...I am so stuck right now on what to do this sucks.
 

CostaDeSol

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j0504s said:
I really dont want her to feel empowered.
Is the event really that important?

Once again, IMHO, I wouldn't go if I were you.

I believe that no contact, out of sight and out of mind, is the best policy.
 

Purefilth

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Agreed^
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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