The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Most girls feel relief at the early stages of the breakup, however after some time and distance, Sometimes months down the line, that's when the regret and second guessing her decision can happen.

Especially if you have actually moved on and are now happier than before; and with new women.

 

[Designer Man]

NC is the only way.. She made a decision and negotiating with her will not work.

Only your absence will motivate her to reach out and have doubts about the decision.

Most girls feel relief at the early stages of the breakup, however after some time and distance, Sometimes months down the line, that's when the regret and second guessing her decision can happen.

Just on the highlighted sentence, mine is texting and is apologetic and talking about how much she loves and how we went so wrong. There's no anger aimed towards me, I'm not sure if this is her way of putting things at peace and moving on or if she is opening up about solving our issues.

 

[Designer Man]

Well, hopefully that 'talk' progresses in a healthy relationship.

We have been discussing things openly and taking blame and responsibility. We have opened up about what went wrong and how we felt and things are making more sense. I can see why she felt unloved and unappreciated and it pieces everything together. We didnt allow each other time and space to reset and we just built tension around each other. Whether this means anything I don't know. The problem I have is her relatives. They intervened and got me away from her, they treated me appallingly. How do we get back together after something like that? I love her but I can't forgive her family members for how they behaved.

 

[Dr.Suave]

What if shes worth continuing with?

Is she? I dont think she is

 

[soulforge]

We have been discussing things openly and taking blame and responsibility. We have opened up about what went wrong and how we felt and things are making more sense. I can see why she felt unloved and unappreciated and it pieces everything together. We didnt allow each other time and space to reset and we just built tension around each other. Whether this means anything I don't know. The problem I have is her relatives. They intervened and got me away from her, they treated me appallingly. How do we get back together after something like that? I love her but I can't forgive her family members for how they behaved.

I think those happened to me too, my Exes family convinced her not to fix her relationship with me.

 

[Hacker]

I think those happened to me too, my Exes family convinced her not to fix her relationship with me.

I think that happened to me too but you know what EFF EM. They cant do no better then us. Its there loss and there relatives can suck a d*ck

 

[Designer Man]

I think those happened to me too, my Exes family convinced her not to fix her relationship with me.

The same people in her family have all come from dysfunctional relationships, her Mother has been married and divorced three times. She is in no position to give any advice. The behaviour i have seen from them in regards to our relationship shows just how damaged they are. From what I know, they haven't told my ex not to give up, they seem like the kind of people who would rather you came back so they have some form of influence and power over you.

 

[Designer Man]

The only way I win is by not playing the game but it's so difficult.

 

[Chowda]

The only way I win is by not playing the game but it's so difficult.

It takes effort, it takes patience, it takes hardship. As I’ve said before - short term pain for long term pleasure.

The long term pleasure is stoicism, social construct and mental fortitude. This will carry you on for the rest of your life.

 

[Hacker]

Yesterday and today have been weird. I thought I was fully over my ex then some things started coming to my mind. The first one is if I made a mistake by not taking her call on Halloween. The second one is I wonder if she will ever reach out to me again. The third one is I wonder if she is dating someone new. These thoughts are rushing through my head even though I have been dating a new girl recently. Could it be that I was fooling myself that I was over her within a week and half? I feel very edgy and anxious. I almost feel like reaching out to her but im too much of a mess right now. I was doing so good up until this point. Why am I getting weak all of a sudden?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Could it be that I was fooling myself that I was over her within a week and half?

Yes, of course.

 

[soulforge]

Yesterday and today have been weird. I thought I was fully over my ex then some things started coming to my mind. The first one is if I made a mistake by not taking her call on Halloween. The second one is I wonder if she will ever reach out to me again. The third one is I wonder if she is dating someone new. These thoughts are rushing through my head even though I have been dating a new girl recently. Could it be that I was fooling myself that I was over her within a week and half? I feel very edgy and anxious. I almost feel like reaching out to her but im too much of a mess right now. I was doing so good up until this point. Why am I getting weak all of a sudden?

Your emotions are going to be up and down bro.. just let them go through you.

It's still early days.. Another chick in your roster might help you take your mind a little. Keep talking to other girls.

One day you will look back at all this and laugh.

 

[ItsBeenAWhile]

Today is day 4 of my NC with her. I've been spending the days exploring new hobbies and trying out new stuff, and the evening's spent reading stuff on this forum, catching up with friends/family, and watching movies and some TV. I could barely eat and sleep properly the first few days of the NC and the days before but it seems to be fine now. Saw her in my dreams last night but now I can't even remember what the context was. Can't control it so I'm just letting it pass.

 

[Chowda]

Chick wants to go on a trip we planned next month. I’m having her pay for the accommodations so I won’t get burned

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Chick wants to go on a trip we planned next month. I’m having her pay for the accommodations so I won’t get burned

Don't let her choose the accommodations or you might get burned in another way.

 

[Chowda]

Don't let her choose the accommodations or you might get burned in another way.

I don’t want to be caught footing the bill if she flakes. I can figure something out if SHTF during the trip

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I don’t want to be caught footing the bill if she flakes. I can figure something out if SHTF during the trip

I'm saying, make sure that she foots the bill, but you get to veto if the accommodation isn't to your liking.

 

[Chowda]

I'm saying, make sure that she foots the bill, but you get to veto if the accommodation isn't to your liking.

I’m picking the place and she is paying for it

 

[ItsBeenAWhile]

Day 5 of NC. The nights always seem to be the relatively hardest parts of the day because that's the only time I'm not preoccupied with something else. Unfortunately I learned of a post she put up through a friend. Happy, smiling, eating out. She's also been posting more frequently than when we were in the relationship. What do you guys think about this? I'm not sure if it had to do with this but had trouble sleeping after a few days of good sleep. Did manage to get some rest though. On to the next day... I'm planning on picking up a few more new hobbies today. I'll keep you guys updated.

 

[soulforge]

Day 5 of NC. The nights always seem to be the relatively hardest parts of the day because that's the only time I'm not preoccupied with something else. Unfortunately I learned of a post she put up through a friend. Happy, smiling, eating out. She's also been posting more frequently than when we were in the relationship. What do you guys think about this? I'm not sure if it had to do with this but had trouble sleeping after a few days of good sleep. Did manage to get some rest though. On to the next day... I'm planning on picking up a few more new hobbies today. I'll keep you guys updated.

More often than not, chicks go through an initial period of relief after the break up.

Excitement about the future and looking forward to single life freedom again.

However this initial happy phase doesn't often last long, they experience the pain of the break up further down the line.

Sometimes even months down the line. I'm not saying this is always the case.

Some chicks will move on and not give a single crap about the break up.

In my case immediately after the break up, my ex was posting pictures laughing having fun etc..

Two months down the line, her posts where about heartbreak and making statements such as, no man will ever love her.