The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

narcissist

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So weird but Im feeling great. Spinning plates is a sure fire way to get over a break up.
 
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goodbyehorses

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So weird but Im feeling great. Spinning plates is a sure fire way to get over a break up.
Absolutely right!

Day 25.

Yesterday and today I am feeling better, maybe due to the fact I'm going to have lunch with this girl I like a lot! And tomorrow I'm spending time with the other chick. Moreover, yesterday 'she' watched my stories again. Is it so boring her time abroad? ;) This morning I went for a run after two months without exercise, it felt great. Keep moving on brothers!
 

narcissist

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Day 7. Have a date tonight with a cutie. Feeling good. Forgot my wallet at work and so I cant go to school today (no way of commuting)... this is a bummer. My house is tainted and I do not want to be home.
 

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Today sucked fcking d1ck.

Missed school, got flaked on last minute, kind of ruined the plate by basically telling her to stop messaging me and wasting my time, and broke nofap.

Feel like sh1t.
 
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Today sucked fcking d1ck.

Missed school, got flaked on last minute, kind of ruined the plate by basically telling her to stop messaging me and wasting my time, and broke nofap.

Feel like sh1t.
Just keep on keepin' on. I've been in a crap headspace since Monday morning, no single concrete reason I can point to. Just a bunch of little setbacks, headwinds, all on top of some additional life responsibilities that will get better in a couple of weeks but in the meantime it's a slog.

The reason spinning plates helps you heal faster is that it simply gives you something to look forward to again, rather than looking backward. So do something---anything---that gives you something to look forward to.

For me, I have my first piano-karaoke meetup in two days. Last week I got early access to concert tix for a group I really like, so I bought two tickets and now I have something forward to with my GF. Unfortunately the latter won't pay off until December, but the act of planning and purchasing was worth a few days of glow in the moment.

Forward. Onward. Self care.
 
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narcissist

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Day 8.
 

rando5495

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Didn't get dumped. Was what I call a "force dump".

This place is amazingly great in a weak moment of no-contact. Really is.
 

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Day 9.
 

narcissist

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My ex girlfriend was supposed to pick up her sh!t this week and drop off my sh!t, but she hasn't. It's slightly annoying because I want to cut all ties and all potential contact with her, so that I know for sure I won't be bumping into her. She is supposed to drop it off while I am not home and give it to my roommate but nothing has happened this week *rolls eyes*

Also I bumped into her friend at school yesterday. Actually it was a slightly odd situation. I was talking to my friend and her friend came up to me (I didn't even notice her) and she was acting really friendly to me (my friend even made a comment about it after she left). I played it off cool and was cordial and friendly. But she gave me a really tight hug when she left. I do feel as though she was gauging to see if I was affected by the break up or not so that she can relay that information back to my ex *double eye roll*

Oh well. I can't wait until I get my sh!t back and I know for a fact that she won't be coming to my house ever again.
 

bcude

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My ex girlfriend was supposed to pick up her sh!t this week and drop off my sh!t, but she hasn't. It's slightly annoying because I want to cut all ties and all potential contact with her, so that I know for sure I won't be bumping into her. She is supposed to drop it off while I am not home and give it to my roommate but nothing has happened this week *rolls eyes*

Also I bumped into her friend at school yesterday. Actually it was a slightly odd situation. I was talking to my friend and her friend came up to me (I didn't even notice her) and she was acting really friendly to me (my friend even made a comment about it after she left). I played it off cool and was cordial and friendly. But she gave me a really tight hug when she left. I do feel as though she was gauging to see if I was affected by the break up or not so that she can relay that information back to my ex *double eye roll*

Oh well. I can't wait until I get my sh!t back and I know for a fact that she won't be coming to my house ever again.
Keeping the stuff can be a way to have a hook on you. On the contrary if she's really eager to drop the stuff she's really done done with you. Just as a general observation. But maybe she's just busy and will do it next week. Or if you commanded her to drop it off this week she's trying to demonstrate power by doing it when she feels for it.
 
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narcissist

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Keeping the stuff can be a way to have a hook on you. On the contrary if she's really eager to drop the stuff she's really done done with you. Just as a general observation. But maybe she's just busy and will do it next week. Or if you commanded her to drop it off this week she's trying to demonstrate power by doing it when she feels for it.
Yeah, I did tell her that I wanted her to drop it off this week and to respect that, which she said she would, but she obviously didn't. Just another piece of evidence that this relationship is beyond repair. I am so glad to be out of it. Truly. Not just saying that to make myself feel or look better.
 

goodbyehorses

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Day 28.

Last 2-3 days have been tough. I knew from her friend (I didn't ask though) that she got fired and came back in town some days ago (when she watched my stories again she was already here). It's funny, because in my last message I wrote that I believed she would do great abroad, 'because you're great and beautiful and you will do well', something like that. I was so wrong, she is much worse than that, I guess it was my love writing... She got fired for not showing at work sometimes and going to work with hangover some other :rolleyes: At least this is what she told to her friends, so I think there's even more s**t she didn't tell.

Now she has to pay back a great amount of money because she lost her scholaship, and her family isn't rich, so it's a very bad moment for her. Her friends are going to collect money to help her. This feels so bad because I sincerely care for her. But I am not going to do anything, not even wish her a happy birthday, which is soon. I'm having a hard time, I feel a lot of anxiety and mixed emotions, but she doesn't deserve my help and my affection right now, at least until she will understand her mistakes and be willing to cope, which won't happen.
 

narcissist

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Day 10
 

the_cog

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Day 25. Everything is off track, exercise, sleep, diet. I'm depressed. At times I long for her to contact me. I need to snap out of it.
 

Don De Grey

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Day 22

I just found this site after reading the rational male after a buddy turned me on to his website. Needless to say I was doing everything wrong In classic AFC fashion.

My ex broke up with me a month ago, but started texting me 8 hours later, and like a chump I answered her for 10 days. I even went to go get coffee with her the last day of contact, I felt like she was coming around. She even grabbed my hand when we were drying back to work and squeezed like she did when we were dating.

The next day she sent me a link to an article about vaping killing people. Now she is allergic to a lot of things, even a certain laundry soap that I was using.

I replied telling her that the day she told me about the laundry detergent that I started cutting back on the nicotine and had a plan on tapering it to zero and quitting, not just for her health; but because it annoyed the **** out of her. Haven’t heard a word from her since.
Day 29

She texted me at 11:46 PM with “Hey. How are you doing?”

did not respond.
 
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Day 29

She texted me at 11:46 PM with “Hey. How are you doing?”

did not respond.
Such a classic opener, the past two breaks from NC that was almost exactly how she opened it. So you're not alone.

The time I wasn't ready to break NC it was helpful that it came in around 11pm when my GF and I had just settled into bed. So ignoring it was easy.

The most recent break came three months after that, at which point I was ok with texting for a little bit so I answered. That turned out to be a good thing, as I got some insight into the continuing train wreck that is her personal life, which tangibly reinforced that she did me a favor when she walked. That text session left things a little open, but a month later I've yet to hear back. Which is just fine.
 

Don De Grey

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Such a classic opener, the past two breaks from NC that was almost exactly how she opened it. So you're not alone.

How’s it going/How are you doing is her go to.

I told everyone that she would reach out within a month, that has been the case the last few times we quit contact. The last time was on her birthday when she said I was too old for her, so I moved on and started dating someone else.

I bumped into at work by chance several weeks later, things had been awkward so I told her. She followed me down to the bar that night and chased me for a week before I went on a date with her.

This was before reading Rollo’s books, Pook’s book, The Game, Mystery Method, The way of men and this forum. If I do give her another chance, she is going to earn every bit of it.

Honestly she is a good girl, didn’t **** around and has a pretty strong personal code. Like most women, she just doesn’t have the first clue about what the fock she wants. Being out of the dating game for 23 years, I had forgotten that.
 

bcude

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Such a classic opener, the past two breaks from NC that was almost exactly how she opened it. So you're not alone.

The time I wasn't ready to break NC it was helpful that it came in around 11pm when my GF and I had just settled into bed. So ignoring it was easy.

The most recent break came three months after that, at which point I was ok with texting for a little bit so I answered. That turned out to be a good thing, as I got some insight into the continuing train wreck that is her personal life, which tangibly reinforced that she did me a favor when she walked. That text session left things a little open, but a month later I've yet to hear back. Which is just fine.
Does your ex know that you have a new gf?
Please follow up in this thread if you get something more in the future, just out of curiosity.
 
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Does your ex know that you have a new gf?
Please follow up in this thread if you get something more in the future, just out of curiosity.
Based on how the text conversation was going, I leaned more on being the receiving end of the information rather than divulging. In the course of the brief exchange she did ask whether there were "any new girls in the picture", but I opted to simply ignore the question and focus on other topics. She can read into that what she will.
 
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