I'm just kinda spitting things out to entertain myself and not contact this girl today. I don't expect anyone to read this wall of text nor do I expect any advice. I certainly value anyone's opinion so don't be dissuaded to comment because of this.
Broke up with my girl of 7 months, not a long time at all considering I just finished getting out of a 7 year relationship where we never fought... well maybe like 4 times. This girl I can barely go 4 days without an argument of some kind. But the kicker is that were Cuban, and Cuban people are very loud and aggressive. I have never been this way, well kinda but not so much as to properly represent my birthright, lol. But you just never know if your overreacting because Cuban people overreact to everything. So am I right or wrong? All I know is that she matches all the BPD symptoms Cuban or not, she's a ****ing nut case. She did love me dearly and I really think she tried to make herself better, but I am just too sensible, natural, laid back to cope with her tripping on everything. Not only this but she is a major potty mouth, no lie this girl has called me everything in the book... literally she has used every bad word I have heard to describe me... literally. She thinks i'm black too... nobody has ever told me that. I'm a typical Cuban looking guy, if anything I look Hawiian. People have told me I look American Indian, I swear I could be a great spy I just look like a mix of everything. But yeah neager she calls me. I don't even have nappy hair, I guess the closest ting you can compare my hair to is Indian (dot not feather) hair, jet black real straight and glossy a little curly. Maybe she called me that because parts of me are black... you know... "the dude" is black. Well this girl was just a pain in the ass issues and complaints about anything, cant take her out without hearing a complaint about something or other. And this goes totally against the way I am, I mean heck if my server brings me the wrong food i'll eat it just to try something new unless it's just totally something I would never touch. I just try to stay happy all the time with the things I have. That's me... She complains about everything, is happy with nothing, and wont even eat what she ordered if it missing a slice of tomato when it was supposed to have two. The last straw was when she got into my FBook and read my messages with an ex girlfriend. She saw a message I sent her one of the many times we were broken up inviting her to spend the weekend with me. Totally flipped out, and she did this while I was having my AC installed. So i'm driving the AC guy to Home Depot to buy some parts and I get a text "im shaking and almost threw up, I just read your fbook messages" I was like WTF! I told her those messages were while I was single, and we were technically not together then too because of all the beef from before I had her on a kind of probation. Well she tried hard to be cool with me that day but like so many times it was through gritting teeth. She even told me she was faking. She had to do that alot with me and for seemingly normal stuff anybody else would just not sweat at all. Things like my friend coming over for an hour, me passing by a friends house on the way back from an errand, not paying attention to her (I had to 24/7).. It was so tiring to have her around I swear, what a royal PIA. One thing about crazies is that they love to screw and bot was she good at it, well not like she was an acrobat or anything. She gave the best BJs a man can hope for. And was literally always down to screw. Literally it would be like the end of the news. I could get up from the couch and have the itch "hey lets go lay for a bit" and it was ON. Two hour session with a nap = NIZE. She was a little heavy and loosing fast ever since she got with me. Really a gorgeous woman, one of the prettiest faces I have ever seen on a woman her age. But dam she just drove me totally nuts with how she acted. We would go out and she would be all up in everyone's business. How they hold their child, what they look like, anything she could talk about she did and with such intensity it did seem she was always ready to walk over to them and give them a piece of her mind. I leave people be, if I see abuse i'll stop it, but anything short of that and it's just none of my concern. Anyways as a man it's different to be out in public, you have to be ready to take matters into your hands if someone disrespects you or your lady. I know that at any moment I may have to lay down an azz whoopin (or try to at least). To her it was no problem to get into other peoples business. We would go out and she would get all chatty with just anyone, I am never like this. I am very private, don't talk to even my neighbors because I don't want things to get complicated with them. I just avoid any unnecessary drama, at all costs. She looked for drama under every stone, at every turn. It drove me nuts. She never even got to meet my parents, because I would never take her there when she was acting crazy or even if we had recently had any kind of disagreement. So yeah she never met them!!! lol! F'ed up and crazy all the time!!! I met her whole family... I did want her to meet mine. But she would start talking about questioning them about my roots, like trying to find out if I had black roots. Well... actually I did. Well I know very little of my family, but my mothers side had a famous Jazz singer and he was very dark skinned. Quite honestly I guess i'm a total mix breed type of person. I really don't have any dominant characteristics of any race, well she pinned the black tag on me and I never lived that one down. I swear one of the reasons I left her was just to be a normal person again. No black no white, just me like it always was. Feels good man, really does. I still miss her tho, when someone loves you as much as she loved me they become a permanent fixture of your life kind of. You just never want that kind of love to stop. As bad as it may be I miss the love. But her character was really bad for me, we just didn't match. It started to seem like the arguments were never ending, one leading to the next, then PMS would hit and make things worse. It was just an exercise in futility, it seemed like. We would fight for days over the most insignificant things. Horrible, and I am already a person that has suffered allot. When I was young my father was the always pissed off kind of person, you couldn't talk to him at all. So I really don't have tolerance for drama or extended attitudes. I see a sh!t face and i'm outta there! Well I think I made it, she did email me a couple times while I was writing this letter to ask some questions about her car tires, it was cool. At least I didnt but out the "I miss you" crap and get the fire going again. Thanks guys for pulling me through another one. And if you actually read this whole thing Thank You too, have a great day.
