The most confident way to ask a woman out via text

[Sega Genesis]

Yeeeeah no. Wording absolutely matters, especially to women. Women don’t make decisions in a vacuum—how you phrase your invite affects how she perceives you.

Your argument assumes her interest is fixed, but attraction is fluid. A confident, well-worded invite can increase her interest, while a weak or passive one can change her impression of you and completely kill her desire.

Absolutely agree with this^^. Specifically that attraction for women is fluid especially during early stages and can literally change on a dime.

Depending on the woman and the type of man and relationship she seeks, she may view your words one of two ways.

Asking what day(s) work for her she will view as respectful and polite. No "word salad" required, just a simple question "hey I'd love to take you out next week, what days work best for you"? Personally I love that!

Versus telling her what days YOU are free and expecting her to comply with YOUR schedule which she may view as pompous, arrogant and demanding.

I've felt both ways tbh.

Just be you, find a balance.

Best to not follow some script as every women is different and thus will respond in different often opposing ways to the same stimuli.

 

[Sega Genesis]

This Thursday at 8:30pm there is a salsa dancing event, I want you to come with me, I'll pick you up at 8, wear high heels.

How about this?

"This Thursday at 8:30pm there is a salsa dancing event, I'd love if you couid join me, are you free? If so, I'll pick you up at 8, wear high heels.

Up to you NJ, personally I prefer what I posted it sounds more respectful of her time while also expressing your interest in taking her out.

It shouldn't be just about what you want, you're in this thing together right? Just asking, you may feel differently.

But some women may prefer your style too!

It's not black and white, dating and how we express ourselves is always nuanced with many different shades of gray.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Just text her "you need to come over tonight, my c0ck ain't gonna suck itself."

 

[Sega Genesis]

Just text her "you need to come over tonight, my c0ck ain't gonna suck itself."

Lol there are certain women who would respond positively to that too!! Even before a first date!

Again all depends on the type of man and relationship she seeks.

 

[Sega Genesis]

I don't care how you feel it. I'm not responsible for how something makes you feel.

^^Bolded, nor should you be! Which is why I didn't say my way of wording it made me "feel" a certain way.

It's just what I (and other women I know) would "prefer" and more likely to accept the invite for reasons previously stated.

Now if you don't care what I (or the woman you want to take out) "prefers" and just want things done your way (and I'm not judging you if you do) that's certainly your perogative!

Like I said she may prefer YOUR style! I was just offering an alternative.

Okay, see you at 8.

Agree NJ. When a woman is sufficiently attracted, she tends to be agreeable and compliant.

 

[Smartone84]

Step one is definitely making sure you and your words come off as confident. After that, it comes down to their overall interest level imo. I've had success and failures mentioning a couple of days for the chick to pick from and I've had success and failure simply saying "We should grab drinks one night soon/next week. Would be fun.". As long as their interest level is above a 5 or so, they'll either pick a day or say something along the lines of "Sure" or "Sounds great", then you proceed to discuss a day and time.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Yeeeeah no. Wording absolutely matters, especially to women. Women don’t make decisions in a vacuum—how you phrase your invite affects how she perceives you.

Your argument assumes her interest is fixed, but attraction is fluid. A confident, well-worded invite can increase her interest, while a weak or passive one can change her impression of you and completely kill her desire. For exmaple:

• Giving the option of two days makes you the decision-maker; asking for her schedule puts you in a passive position, subtly seeking her approval. For most women, that's a turn-off
• “What’s your schedule like?” makes her think too much. “I’m free Tuesday or Friday, let me know” makes it easy—she just picks or counters. Leaving it open to her gives her too many options, which can hinder her from picking anything.
• You literally proved my point in your own example: “Hey, I have something to do this weekend, but let me know if you can meet so I can cancel it.” That’s exactly why giving set options works. If she’s into you, she’ll adjust. If she’s not, she’ll stall or say no—either way, you don’t need to ask her schedule.

If interest was the only factor, guys wouldn’t see better results just by changing how they word their texts. But they do, and that’s proof wording matters.

Not to get into a big argument, but l've said before - men are mainly aroused by what they see, while women are influenced by words, stories, and emotional connection. Being good with words is the male equivalent of a woman sending nudes.

That said, we're arguing semantics. If your approach is a little textbook-like, you already know attraction can't be negotiated. OP was looking for the magic text to turn a dry, careless texter into an engaged one — it doesn't exist. Once a woman is attracted, the small details of how you phrase an invite won't drastically shift her desire. That's the law of diminishing returns - the more attraction she already feels, the less impact the perfect wording will have via text. Sometimes I ask what she's doing on Thursday before I pop the question — it doesn't really matter if the tingles are there. I mean, l'm not an NPC,

What does kill attraction is when she sub-communicates that she wants you to ask her out or kiss her — and you don't proceed. That's when your game is sloppy. Anything is better than nothing.