"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
The "Just Got Dumped" GUIDE
- Thread starter Metaphysical
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Dante420
Master Don Juan
What if you have the same circle of friends and see and interact with each other every day. Especially after hanging just about every day for 2 years?
TheDoctor
Don Juan
Metaphysical,
What about when you know that she is unsure of her decision to leave you, BUT she is too strong willed and stubborn to call you. I know she feels sad about what has happened, but still, she will not break down and call me. When can I call her to try to talk her into taking me back?
What about when you know that she is unsure of her decision to leave you, BUT she is too strong willed and stubborn to call you. I know she feels sad about what has happened, but still, she will not break down and call me. When can I call her to try to talk her into taking me back?
I would do as the previous posters have suggested, talk to her, if she initiates communication, but keep it "professional" and "cold". If she broke up with you she must also realize she cut herself off from you hanging with her as much as when you were a couple.Dante420 said:What if you have the same circle of friends and see and interact with each other every day. Especially after hanging just about every day for 2 years?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
BongDuy
Master Don Juan
what do you think about "goodbye sex/kiss/hug/etc"
PimpOfTheSouth
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2009
- Messages
- 170
- Reaction score
- 6
I found this guide to late.
Quick question about this guide. Does this apply to girls that have ended their relationship because if her parents found out it'd be bad? Even though there was no wrong between the parties just a circumstantial issue? Would they come crying back?
Proof that this works:
my girlfriend and i broke up.
i said : this is wrong. then i smiled at her and walked away.
i went out and saw a movie that night. turned my phone off, left it at home.
got home, checked the phone, saw 18 new text messages from her. all telling me that we needed to talk about us and getting back together. let her beg for a few weeks. she got some of daddy's money and bought me a laptop. now we're back together.
long story short, good post. completely accurate from the female psychology to the sheer power it gives a guy. thanks for putting it in words.
my girlfriend and i broke up.
i said : this is wrong. then i smiled at her and walked away.
i went out and saw a movie that night. turned my phone off, left it at home.
got home, checked the phone, saw 18 new text messages from her. all telling me that we needed to talk about us and getting back together. let her beg for a few weeks. she got some of daddy's money and bought me a laptop. now we're back together.
long story short, good post. completely accurate from the female psychology to the sheer power it gives a guy. thanks for putting it in words.
snackwitch
Don Juan
C-Damage said:And as i said - you will get limited success, BUT doing this in the desperate hope that she will come back has ALREADY FAILED. My soloution to this problem, as i have already detailed in this thread is move on and get a new girl. Give no thought to your ex, or as little as you can manage because she has, through her actions AND her emotions made a relationship between the two of you an impossibility.
Yeah I second you on this one... actually I think this "guide" is bad advice, especially for guys who are trying to break the AFC mindset. It encourages game playing when they are still learning their ABCs. I think a lot of guys need to toughen up and feel the pangs of rejection and use it to get stronger, not to commiserate and reminiscence and all that BS. You might as well get a box of Midol.
You're right once a girl dumps you, the "relationship" phase is over. Anything you get after that is diminishing returns if anything at all.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
robinincarolina
Banned
We women call it the no contact rule and the funny thing is, we give the exact same advice to women who have been dumped. We just word it a little softer being that we are emotional and not logical. Not all of the women go into no contact to get the man back though, we do it so that we can step back and get those emotions under control and heal. Out of sight, out of mind. Being dumped is not fun regardless of gender, but no contact is the only way to go if you have been dumped. I call it breakup bootcamp.
This speaks volumes of experience to anyone who got dumped. I will agree with the fact that a woman's anxiety will drive her to do crazy things. This strategy makes the woman feel very insecure about herself, which in turn will make her do CRAZY things to get you to be attracted to her again.
I ran into my ex-girlfriend a few weeks back. She was shocked at how much little attention i paid to her. She toronto asian escort even toronto escort asked me if i was mad at her, which I responded with a no. She was very insecure and kept toronto asian escorts asking if toronto escorts she did something to make me upset with her. I told her she did nothing and just maintained my frame. She went NUTS. Every day after that she blew up my phone trying to contact me.
I ran into my ex-girlfriend a few weeks back. She was shocked at how much little attention i paid to her. She toronto asian escort even toronto escort asked me if i was mad at her, which I responded with a no. She was very insecure and kept toronto asian escorts asking if toronto escorts she did something to make me upset with her. I told her she did nothing and just maintained my frame. She went NUTS. Every day after that she blew up my phone trying to contact me.
well I have a different scenario here. When I went on date, this girl gave me lip kiss on our 4th date. We talked a lot over the sms and phone. Every time we see each other we used to give lip kiss. But since August end we have met only two times. She says she is busy with work and family, and I trust her completely. Last time when I met her 5 weeks ago we went for a movie and after we did lip kiss but then i tried to kiss (french) her but she said "i can't kiss you, and please when i feel like it". I got the hint that she somewhat not ready or I may be going to fast or I should say "we" both were going to fast. But I want to know What does she exactly mean by when she said that particular line to me.
I was pissed from past a week and did not send any text message, no call, no fbook and no msn at all. She didn't react either, however, today I receive sms from her saying "how are you". I actually like her, i like her a lot, but then other side what she said last time has just played over my brain.
How about this?
Should the above rule applies in this situation?
Lets see what your guys opinions.
I was pissed from past a week and did not send any text message, no call, no fbook and no msn at all. She didn't react either, however, today I receive sms from her saying "how are you". I actually like her, i like her a lot, but then other side what she said last time has just played over my brain.
How about this?
Should the above rule applies in this situation?
Lets see what your guys opinions.
I think this applies more to a LTR then just a 7 or 8 date scenario. Push pull is still always a good thing to consider, but going strait NC at that stage can be counter productive as well.zindagi said:well I have a different scenario here. When I went on date, this girl gave me lip kiss on our 4th date. We talked a lot over the sms and phone. Every time we see each other we used to give lip kiss. But since August end we have met only two times. She says she is busy with work and family, and I trust her completely. Last time when I met her 5 weeks ago we went for a movie and after we did lip kiss but then i tried to kiss (french) her but she said "i can't kiss you, and please when i feel like it". I got the hint that she somewhat not ready or I may be going to fast or I should say "we" both were going to fast. But I want to know What does she exactly mean by when she said that particular line to me.
I was pissed from past a week and did not send any text message, no call, no fbook and no msn at all. She didn't react either, however, today I receive sms from her saying "how are you". I actually like her, i like her a lot, but then other side what she said last time has just played over my brain.
How about this?
Should the above rule applies in this situation?
Lets see what your guys opinions.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Question about this guide
Has anyone had this guide bring back a girl who dumped you for not making her a priority and not spending enough time with her, progressing the relationship?
I know you also can't read into their main reasons for the break, but they all were along the lines of not enough time spent, not making her a priority, and not every progressing the relationship.
I tried to be as strong as I could during the breakup and not beg or tell her I agreed with it, she said she knew I had been thinking about it too. I have been strait NC for 7 weeks now. Of course now I'm seeing all of the good things about her and figuring out that if I got another shot I'd probably be more willing to commit to long term stuff like marriage and buying a place together. However if I contacted her now I feel like I would just be sticking a sword in my heart. Just wondering if this would really help her call me if she broke it up cause she wants to get married and have a family and she felt like I was just wasting her time.
Has anyone had this guide bring back a girl who dumped you for not making her a priority and not spending enough time with her, progressing the relationship?
I know you also can't read into their main reasons for the break, but they all were along the lines of not enough time spent, not making her a priority, and not every progressing the relationship.
I tried to be as strong as I could during the breakup and not beg or tell her I agreed with it, she said she knew I had been thinking about it too. I have been strait NC for 7 weeks now. Of course now I'm seeing all of the good things about her and figuring out that if I got another shot I'd probably be more willing to commit to long term stuff like marriage and buying a place together. However if I contacted her now I feel like I would just be sticking a sword in my heart. Just wondering if this would really help her call me if she broke it up cause she wants to get married and have a family and she felt like I was just wasting her time.
I think you could wait a day, and then say, Doing Great, Saving the World, Just Your Everyday **** and leave it like that. Don't try and hang out with her, just reply. You gotta have a strong frame here, she's starting to wonder if she has you locked down. If she contacts you again after that and asks to hang out, be aloof, do it, but don't try and get cuddly or touchy with her until you can feel her wanting it.zindagi said:hmm thanks for the reply weezy but what you think that i should do here?....reply her back via sms or what u say?
I would love some advice on getting emotionally grounded. Cause this **** has thrown me for a loop. NC does make it easier and does allow you to heal.PHAT Rabbit said:I also wanted to add something else...
If you're not ready emotionally for this breakup than it's going to hurt regardless. If you want to get emotional stability.. you need to look at your mind. Your mind is the issue... it is why you're so reactive. If there is anything on here that almost everyone needs to work on it's their mind. You may have a great body, all the lines, and great looks.. but if your emotionally unstable girls will find your behavior unattractive. The funny thing is.. most girls themselves are emotionally unstable -- my girlfriend is the perfect example (but I won't go into it). My theory on why she finds me so attractive -- because I'm super emotionally grounded -- I have one thing she doesn't have! I could talk about this subject for years.. because it's like Zen (it's the easiest thing to see, but not many people see it). Hope this helped.. and I hope your ego doesn't blind you from the truth. If anybody wants more info PM me or respond to this thread and I'll give you more information on getting emotionally grounded.
I've read other posts on the internet by chicks and lots of em will break it off if the relationship isn't progressing after 2-3 years, And they hoped it would cause their ex to come back and up his commitment.
A lot of the reasons she gave me during the break where centered around me not making her my life in 3 years, and that I talk about working hard for my family in the future, but she says I should be your family now. You don't put me first, you golf too damn much and that she can't waste anymore time in this relationship.
She would only contact me due to NC on my part if she completely caved, but if she wanted me to step up my commitment, that would have to step up and say I'm ready. *****es. But it doesn't sound like even if I did contact her I you think I should show any emotion, which really doesn't work well cause her GF's aren't hot.
I would love some advice on getting emotionally grounded. Cause this **** has thrown me for a loop. NC does make it easier and does allow you to heal.PHAT Rabbit said:I also wanted to add something else...
If you're not ready emotionally for this breakup than it's going to hurt regardless. If you want to get emotional stability.. you need to look at your mind. Your mind is the issue... it is why you're so reactive. If there is anything on here that almost everyone needs to work on it's their mind. You may have a great body, all the lines, and great looks.. but if your emotionally unstable girls will find your behavior unattractive. The funny thing is.. most girls themselves are emotionally unstable -- my girlfriend is the perfect example (but I won't go into it). My theory on why she finds me so attractive -- because I'm super emotionally grounded -- I have one thing she doesn't have! I could talk about this subject for years.. because it's like Zen (it's the easiest thing to see, but not many people see it). Hope this helped.. and I hope your ego doesn't blind you from the truth. If anybody wants more info PM me or respond to this thread and I'll give you more information on getting emotionally grounded.
I've read other posts on the internet by chicks and lots of em will break it off if the relationship isn't progressing after 2-3 years, And they hoped it would cause their ex to come back and up his commitment.
A lot of the reasons she gave me during the break where centered around me not making her my life in 3 years, and that I talk about working hard for my family in the future, but she says I should be your family now. You don't put me first, and you golf too damn much and we've had a horrible fight and that she can't waste anymore time in this relationship.
She would only contact me due to NC on my part if she completely caved, but if she wanted me to step up my commitment, that would have to step up and say I'm ready. *****es.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.