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The "Just Got Dumped" GUIDE

Metaphysical

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At one point or another, everybody ends up getting dumped for one reason or another, even Brad Pitt.

So there's absolutely no problem with that. The woman just didn't want to be with you any more. Perhaps she only wanted the sex and it got boring or maybe she is looking for something more serious. Nobody is 100% compatible with each other and differences are going to occur and relationships will terminate.

But some of you guys just can't handle being dumped by a woman and you feel like you absolutely NEED to get your ex-girlfriend's back, or at least make them fall in love with you again, for your own self-validation.

So, what exactly do you need to do after a woman breaks up with you?

Should you offer to be friends? HELL NO.

Should you beg her to get together with you? HELL NO.

What if you think she is the woman you were destined to be with? - If she is so meant to be with you, she will come back sometime in the future.

What if she was a virgin and you are afraid other guys will take her virginity? - Oh well. Nothing you can do about it.

ONCE a woman dumps you, she thought about it 100 times before she did it. She played it over and over in her head. Most likely she has another guy waiting up in line. Even more often, they usually have a man who is already sleeping with them and taking care of all their needs.

Once it is over, it is simply OVER.

Do speak to her any more.

Do not maintain contact with her any more.

Do not have her on your friends list on facebook any more and don't chat with her on msn or keep her on msn.

Here are 5 rules:

1) Delete her phone number.
2) Delete her MSN.
3) Delete her facebook. Delete her myspace.
4) FORGET about all the websites she goes to and don't stalk her on the internet or worse, in real life.
5) Do not initiate contact. Either on MSN, internet, real life or over the phone.

Break any of those rules and you have lost the game.

Let me explain to you the way women's minds work.

After a woman breaks up with a man, she is UNSURE about her decision. Women are very uncertain creatures. Women do not trust themselves. Very few women are extremely self confident and even those will doubt their decisions a lot of the time.

When growing up, a lot of these women looked up to their fathers to make sure they made the right decision. Daddy would approve or daddy would disapprove. And that is how they knew they made the right or wrong decision. But, they can't really talk to DADDY about their decisions with men.

So what happens?

When they break up with you, they judge based on YOUR REACTION whether or not they made the right choice by dumping you.

If you CRY, BEG HER BACK, WANT TO BE FRIENDS, and proceed to call her and give her attention... SHE KNOWS SHE DID THE RIGHT CHOICE. This is what 99.9% of guys do.


If you smile, walk away and don't say a word - then she will not know how to handle it. In a few weeks she will start to DOUBT she made the right decision. Anxiety is going to go through her every time she thinks about you. After a while, she will start to think of you every day. Then it will become every few hours. Then it will become every few minutes.

Eventually she will no longer know how to handle it and the curiosity and anxiety will drive her wild.

She will try to call you or email you.


If you pick up the phone and speak to her, you LOST.
If you answer her email, you LOST.
If she texts you and you reply back immediately, you lost.


Once she INITIATES CONTACT with you, if you are too easy to get ahold of, she knows you are easy.
The whole challenge would be lost.

After she calls you once or twice, she will start to go crazy, even more.

You may not believe this happens but it really does.

Her anxiety will go through the roof and she won't be able to sleep at night. Believe me. Especially if you put up a picture on your facebook with yourself and another girl holding hands or showing any type of affection. It will get her insane. She will start to think you found your dream woman and she is forgotten. This will drive her crazy.

Imagine her anxiety level like an EMPTY GLASS.

Once she dumps you, she usually has a little bit of anxiety. If you start to cry and blow up her phone, she TRUSTS HER DECISION and she feels no anxiety towards it. She looks at you and you are done.

The DEAL IS SEALED.

However, if on the other hand, you don't cry and you walk away with a big smile, she will wonder what happened. Give it a week, and that "glass" will start to fill up. Her anxiety level is going to rise.

Then she will try to call you. You don't answer. Unconsciously she starts to think you are better than she is and she lost a good thing. Her anxiety and fear of loss go through the roof.

When she sees you with another woman, jealousy emotions will kick in and she will lose her mind.

She WILL and i repeat. SHE WILL GO THROUGH A CRYSIS PHASE.

When that glass gets all the way full and she can't handle her anxiety any more, she will do something insane.

This can be:
- call your phone 287 times in 12 minutes
- leave an email saying she will kill herself
- tell you she really needs your help and she cant live without you
- say she needs you and wants you

What do you do when she does this?

You go to the liquor store, buy yourself a whiskey and a cigar, sit on the couch, light the cigar, SIP your drink, savor the moment and you do NOTHING.

You let that anxiety stay at a peak.

Her anxiety will be overwhelming to her and she will start to slowly build up other emotions toward you.

When a woman is given EXTREMELY strong emotions from a man, like ANXIETY or HAPPINESS or FEAR, or any other, she will begin to think she is in LOVE WITH HIM.

Yes.

You read that right. You will make her feel high anxiety levels and she will start to think she is in love with you after a while.

Isn't that the dumbest thing you've ever heard? But that is the way the human mind works.

You let her stay at that high peaked anxiety.

She can call you and beg to get back together, don't do it YET.

Let her beg. Let her grovel. Don't even pick up the phone or talk to her. Let her feel that anxiety. Every second you hold out more, she will fall in love a bit more with you and her feelings will intensify towards you.

If you dated a girl for 1 year, maybe let her grovel and beg for a month or 2.

If you dated her 3 months, let her grovel and beg for 3 weeks or so. Don't give yourself away too fast though, use some judgment.

When she will come back, if you want to start a relationship with her, go ahead.

I DO NOT RECOMMEND TRYING TO START A RELATIONSHIP THOUGH.

The purpose of this guide was to teach you how to be a man and handle yourself like a man would.

And that, is how you handle getting dumped.

Have fun fellas.
 

jdon23

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Great post!! This speaks volumes of experience to anyone who got dumped. I will agree with the fact that a woman's anxiety will drive her to do crazy things. This strategy makes the woman feel very insecure about herself, which in turn will make her do CRAZY things to get you to be attracted to her again.

I ran into my ex-girlfriend a few weeks back. She was shocked at how much little attention i paid to her. She even asked me if i was mad at her, which I responded with a no. She was very insecure and kept asking if she did something to make me upset with her. I told her she did nothing and just maintained my frame. She went NUTS. Every day after that she blew up my phone trying to contact me.

I'll never give her the time of day though. She is an attention ***** and always will be.
 

KontrollerX

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This is A+ material.

Every guy just starting out here who is trying to get further schooled to the game needs to read this.
 

cw92

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funny that i found this, i recently got ignored by a girl that I liked, we had been dating for about 2 months, and she flaked on our date (twice). Further details are in a post i made.

I was actually about to call her, when i saw this and it makes me see how pathetic i would look calling her back. Anyway great post.
 

tincanman99

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I totally agree about cutting off contact in all forms. I also agree you should not re-initiate contact with her.

What I dont agree with is that a girl will second guess her decision to get rid of you. Some will and some wont. Even if you handled it appropriately and didnt beg her, make a scene or whatever. She may never come back.

It depends how much she originally liked you and whether she has her head screwed on. If a girl is sl*tting it up there I dont think she will be calling you to meet up with you. She has already moved on to the next guy. You are just a distant memory to her and she dont care. You were just another number on her dance card so to speak.
 

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Dust 2 Dust

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In the end, it's all just a big game. Pretty women can have anything they want, including their ex's. Don't let her have her cake and eat it too.
I don't advocate ever trying to win back anyone. Most of the time if you respond to her advances she'll just reject you again the instant you show interest.

Luke: "She only returns to get the satisfaction out of you, affirm that they could still get you. They will come back and act like they want you, but in reality it just to grab the ounce of self confidence you stole from them back. She left because something was wrong, but when she comes back what will be different? Nothing, it will still be the same and you can only wait till she is back to ignoring you again"
 
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EastWind

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I don't agree completely with this. Maybe it's just the formulation. You encourage mind games, and there should be no need for that. A lot of guys coming out of a genuinely fulfilling relationship will just simply, really miss the girl. Instead of trying to play tricks with the (slim) hopes that she will come back, their energy should be focused on filling that empty spot in their life with a new hobby, spending more time with their friends etc.

The problem with games is that you always play them with an outcome/reward in mind, and in this case it's not a healthy mindset.

I also believe there's no good reason to never ever speak to her again. That sounds very insecure to me, like you're punishing her for something. What are you punishing her for? She has reasons to not want to be with you anymore. Accept it and move on, and someone else will fill her spot over time. Sure, it's a good idea to let the whole thing cool down over a few weeks, maybe even months. But to categorically exclude any possibilities for further interaction... why? Obviously she's an enjoyable person that vibes well with you, or you wouldn't have spent so much time with her.

Better to invest energy in keeping your mind off her and developing your life. And if, then, she choses to come back... you can always deal with that.

Oh, and before anyone asks, my girlfriend broke up with me one week ago. So far all evidence points to the ocean between us as the major problem. I'm doing all I can to follow my own advice. We haven't talked in a week and we'll see how it goes. I've started playing piano to keep my mind off things and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. Time will help.
 

SamMalone

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I did this last summer and it worked completely. I worked with the girl, so the day after we broke up I saw her and was cracking jokes and no bothered by it. Within the next few weeks she kept asking my coworkers why I wasn't talking to her like I used to and not paying attention to her (I did talk to her, and was always polite and playful, but I did not go out of my way to talk to her). Eventually she asked me to come over and I said "No". She kept asking and I eventually slept with her again.
 

DonJuan11

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EastWind said:
I don't agree completely with this. Maybe it's just the formulation. You encourage mind games, and there should be no need for that. A lot of guys coming out of a genuinely fulfilling relationship will just simply, really miss the girl. Instead of trying to play tricks with the (slim) hopes that she will come back, their energy should be focused on filling that empty spot in their life with a new hobby, spending more time with their friends etc.

The problem with games is that you always play them with an outcome/reward in mind, and in this case it's not a healthy mindset.

I also believe there's no good reason to never ever speak to her again. That sounds very insecure to me, like you're punishing her for something. What are you punishing her for? She has reasons to not want to be with you anymore. Accept it and move on, and someone else will fill her spot over time. Sure, it's a good idea to let the whole thing cool down over a few weeks, maybe even months. But to categorically exclude any possibilities for further interaction... why?

Are you kidding? She tells you to go to hell, but changes her mind after a few weeks because you don't phone her begging for a second chance? Why would you waste your time talking to any girl who doesn't want anything to do with you? Why would you give her any satisfaction? As Kontroller and the original poster said, any contact after she tells you to go to hell will show you as weak and validate her decision. (I told him to go to hell and he still talks to me? Wow, imagine how much I can get away with now)


Obviously she's an enjoyable person that vibes well with you, or you wouldn't have spent so much time with her.

Better to invest energy in keeping your mind off her and developing your life. And if, then, she choses to come back... you can always deal with that.
Its not about mind games or punishing her, its about respect. Imagine if you told a girl that it was over and to go to hell. Then you change your mind after 2 weeks and call her. "How are you doing, what have you been up to? Do you still hate me?" It would make no sense at all for her to respond to you.
 

Heretolearn

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Cool post on that side of it but what about how to handle a breakup for yourself. I.e It seems you have focused on the girl but what about you as a guy. What do you do?

Get busy with other hobbies, understand what you want in a realtionship and accept nothing less etcetera
 

Metaphysical

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Heretolearn said:
Cool post on that side of it but what about how to handle a breakup for yourself. I.e It seems you have focused on the girl but what about you as a guy. What do you do?

Get busy with other hobbies, understand what you want in a realtionship and accept nothing less etcetera
When I was a SYMP (afc) I used to sit there and cry over the woman who left me. I used to blow up her phone and I could not think about anything else but her.

Now I figured out what I want in a woman. After being in the game for as long as I've been, you get desensitized.

If a woman was to break up with me, I would not really care that much because I KNOW there will be another woman who is going to come into my life.

You see, the whole "FEELING DEVASTATED" thing is because of your "FEAR OF LOSS".

It comes from pedestaling a woman and acting/thinking that she is different from other women out there. When you make comments like, "OH BUT SHE IS SO HOT", you are pedestaling her.

But after a while of being in the game, women become just that. They're just women. They aren't godesses. They aren't bad either. But they're just women.

And eventually you will realize that if one woman doesn't want to be with you, there are 3,499,999,999 other women on this planet.

So to answer your question. No I don't sit there and meditate, I don't go and cry or whine about how she left me, I don't sit there thinking of my perfect woman and what I want in a relationship.

I just go on and live my life like I normally do.
 

EastWind

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DonJuan11 said:
Its not about mind games or punishing her, its about respect. Imagine if you told a girl that it was over and to go to hell. Then you change your mind after 2 weeks and call her. "How are you doing, what have you been up to? Do you still hate me?" It would make no sense at all for her to respond to you.
You misunderstand me. I'm not saying you should call her, beg to her, cry, take her back the second she calls you etc.

My point is that the mindset suggested by the OP is a negative one because it is still a game that you try to play. If you invest your energy in actively resisting calling her/talking to her, then that is wasted energy. It's better invested in living your life - like Metaphysical's last post says. Then if she calls, you can really, honestly tell her after two minutes of chitchat "Hey, I gotta run or I'll be late. Nice talking to you. Bye!" because it will be true. If you have to lie, SHE will know, YOU will know and she will be validated.
 

DonJuan11

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EastWind said:
My point is that the mindset suggested by the OP is a negative one because it is still a game that you try to play. If you invest your energy in actively resisting calling her/talking to her, then that is wasted energy. It's better invested in living your life - like Metaphysical's last post says. Then if she calls, you can really, honestly tell her after two minutes of chitchat "Hey, I gotta run or I'll be late. Nice talking to you. Bye!" because it will be true. If you have to lie, SHE will know, YOU will know and she will be validated.

If you do that, then that means you didn't really love the girl or see a future together with her. Guys could do that to f-buddies or girls who they had a relationship with and they didn't see going anywhere, but a girl they loved and wanted to marry who tells them to go to hell, and then calls back after two weeks because she wanted to see if you killed yourself or not, not worth the flip of the cell phone.
 

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GuanYu

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Awesome post man. Ironically I just went through something similar, except I'm the one that broke up with her.

After the breakup she called me non-stop for about 6 hours! I couldn't believe it. She also sent lots of texts between then begging me to at least speak to her. I spoke and assured her that it was definitely over.

After about a week, she's literally begging to see me. I was quite busy so didn't end up getting up with her for another week. Finally, I thought what the hell and a week after that, we met up and I fvcked her.

Did I lose? Not IMO. I think I gained a valuable FB that I won't invest any emotions into. I think when a girl is so into you and you can go from being in a "relationship" to simply FB's that a testament to inner game and her perceived value in you.
 

thedeparted

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Overall good advice. Just a note of caution: half the time they won't give a second thought to you b/c they are already busy with the new guy. So don't ignore her expecting she's really gonna care. Half of them will just be glad to get rid of you.

The other thing is, if she dumped you in a rude way, and you don't do anything, you let the bltch disrespect you. Don't do that.
 

chinwaggler

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If you delete her phone number, and she calls you, how will you know not to pick up :O Lol I'm lame

Anyway it's good advice. Pretty basic stuff but explained well.

Another bit of advice, when she breaks up with you, say:

"Yeah, you know what, I agree, our relationship's been getting stale, etc. etc." This will make her be like: :O Oh.......... OK. And even if she doesn't say like "Hang on, let's try to keep it going", then you'll be on her mind more than if you Just walk away.
 

Metaphysical

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GuanYu said:
Awesome post man. Ironically I just went through something similar, except I'm the one that broke up with her.

After the breakup she called me non-stop for about 6 hours! I couldn't believe it. She also sent lots of texts between then begging me to at least speak to her. I spoke and assured her that it was definitely over.

After about a week, she's literally begging to see me. I was quite busy so didn't end up getting up with her for another week. Finally, I thought what the hell and a week after that, we met up and I fvcked her.

Did I lose? Not IMO. I think I gained a valuable FB that I won't invest any emotions into. I think when a girl is so into you and you can go from being in a "relationship" to simply FB's that a testament to inner game and her perceived value in you.
big ups dude

you got the pvssy without the headache.
 

AAAgent

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this is great information but it sounds like this is only for girls who are not involved with any man or haven't found another boyfriend at the time.

What if they have another boyfriend and are already really serious?
I'm sure all the outcomes from before will be atleast slightly different.
 
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