"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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"The Hangover" Could Never Happen in Real Life

SW15

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"The Hangover" has plot lines that are faulty and do not resemble what typically happens with weddings and bachelor parties.

According to the plot of the movie, 4 men (one of whom is the bachelor getting married) are Los Angeles residents going to Las Vegas for a Friday night bachelor party and returning to Los Angeles Sunday for a wedding.

Here are some problems with that and other problems with the movie. This is a non-exhaustive list.

1. Most big weddings are on Saturday afternoons and not Sundays. It's not all that weird to see a Sunday wedding but all of the weddings that happened in the last 10 years in my social circle happened on a Saturday. The only Mon-Fri type weddings are weddings when people elope to Hawaii and don't have their families and social present.

2. No one times their bachelor party on the same weekend as the wedding. Destination bachelor parties, like Las Vegas, would be at least 3 weekends in advance of a wedding. The closest bachelor party to a wedding date I saw in my social circle was the weekend before and it was a serene bachelor party. It was a Friday night dinner that preceded a Saturday wedding by 8 days. Every other bachelor party in my social circle was between 3-10 weeks in advance of the wedding date. The bachelorette parties follow the same timeline ahead of the wedding.

3. If you were able to steal a tiger from a celebrity's home during a bachelor party (which is highly unlikely), there's no way that you could transport it to an upper level villa in Caesar's Palace without anything noticing it.

4. You are not likely to steal a police car during your bachelor party.

5. Near the end of the movie, the 4 men return from Las Vegas to Los Angeles in 3.5 hours to get to the wedding on time. There's no way that you could make that time from Los Angeles to Las Vegas on a Sunday afternoon. The only way you could drive from Las Vegas to some point in Los Angeles in 3.5 hours is if you left Las Vegas between 2:30 AM-3:30 AM on Saturday/Sunday morning and didn't hit any traffic. That's usually a 4 hour road trip under near ideal circumstances. No one has a wedding that starts at 6:30 AM-7:30 AM on a Sunday morning.

It is an entertaining movie but not realistic.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Robert28

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Could you really marry a stripper though? Those all night wedding chapels have always had me curious.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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SW15

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Could you really marry a stripper though? Those all night wedding chapels have always had me curious.
That part could happen though it is improbable. I can't imagine an instanteous wedding between a stripper and some random guy.
 

jimwho

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How about the Bitchy Bossy Skank girlfriend of the guy that pulled his tooth out?

OP, what's your take on Nacho Lebre? And Sister Carnachione?
 
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