"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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The feeling of awkwardness

That_Guy49

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Is it normal for a a guy trying to get better with the ladies to feel awkward in various situations involving women?

Should I just ignore it or is my gut telling me warning me of possible humiliation?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Dapper Don

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Now I don't presume to know what I'm talking about, being a fellow beginner, but my take on it is that you just go ahead and do the stuff that makes you feel awkward, and eventually you become good enough for there to be no awkwardness, or eventually you find out that there was never any awkwardness, and you just needed more self-assurance.

Practice. Or something.
 

Vincent

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by That_Guy49
Is it normal for a a guy trying to get better with the ladies to feel awkward in various situations involving women?

Should I just ignore it or is my gut telling me warning me of possible humiliation?
Simple answer yes.

Your body is giving you several signals.

The first is fear, more specifically the fear of rejection.

The next is anxiety, what happens if she says yes? Will I know what to say?

The final feeling is excitement. What could this lead to? Is she the one, etc etc.

What you need to do is not simply ignore the emotion but learn to embrace them and use them to your advantage.

I've been doing this for two years and i am very comfortable with talking to woman, its become second nature. However, there are certain situations where i feel anxious and a little awkward, such as if i screw up, if its more than 2 ladies. But thats why i do it. I know that i need to learn how to recover from a situation, and how to work on groups of chicks.

We all got/get intimidated, you just need to learn to understand it, and use it. The best way to do this is, practice, practice, practice.

Eventually you learn how to use your excitement as a way to show interest, your anxiety can be controlled to show a sense of calmness with the situation, and your fear as a sign of your strength.

Just keep up the work.
 
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