"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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The feeling of awkwardness

That_Guy49

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Is it normal for a a guy trying to get better with the ladies to feel awkward in various situations involving women?

Should I just ignore it or is my gut telling me warning me of possible humiliation?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Dapper Don

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Now I don't presume to know what I'm talking about, being a fellow beginner, but my take on it is that you just go ahead and do the stuff that makes you feel awkward, and eventually you become good enough for there to be no awkwardness, or eventually you find out that there was never any awkwardness, and you just needed more self-assurance.

Practice. Or something.
 

Vincent

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Originally posted by That_Guy49
Is it normal for a a guy trying to get better with the ladies to feel awkward in various situations involving women?

Should I just ignore it or is my gut telling me warning me of possible humiliation?
Simple answer yes.

Your body is giving you several signals.

The first is fear, more specifically the fear of rejection.

The next is anxiety, what happens if she says yes? Will I know what to say?

The final feeling is excitement. What could this lead to? Is she the one, etc etc.

What you need to do is not simply ignore the emotion but learn to embrace them and use them to your advantage.

I've been doing this for two years and i am very comfortable with talking to woman, its become second nature. However, there are certain situations where i feel anxious and a little awkward, such as if i screw up, if its more than 2 ladies. But thats why i do it. I know that i need to learn how to recover from a situation, and how to work on groups of chicks.

We all got/get intimidated, you just need to learn to understand it, and use it. The best way to do this is, practice, practice, practice.

Eventually you learn how to use your excitement as a way to show interest, your anxiety can be controlled to show a sense of calmness with the situation, and your fear as a sign of your strength.

Just keep up the work.
 
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