"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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The Fart Method

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Don Ronny

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I know this may sound crazy, but one of the ways I can decide if a girl is really interested is if I fart really loud and smelly and she just ignores it.

Try it!

For maximum effect, try stuffing yourself with cheese, broccoli, jalapeno peppers, beans, onions, cabbage, and wash it all down with a can of warm beer. You won't be disappointed!

If she looks at you in shock, just shrug it off like it is no big deal and say "What? You never fart?"

I like it cause it weeds out the uptight b!tches and I HATE it when I have to hold in my gas..

For those of you flamers I will say, don't knock it till you've tried it!

DISCLAIMER: This technique is for the advanced players here who have some degree of game. You noobs didn't honestly think that chronic farting is all it takes? :p

EDIT: Wow! My 500th post...and what a post it is..worthy of a "Master Don Juan" :cool:
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Anaconda

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Hahhah, are you being funny? Why not take it a bit further and fart in the middle of a party...That way you'll be able to see who's interested by the dozens. :D.
 
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Disconnect

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ROFL!!!! :D:D

Im goin to a party tonite, I ll make sure I try it. May update on it later.

BTW: You are a genius Ronny. Keep it up.
 
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Caveman

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Good god! I had a good one the other day. It me me run away from myself so if she would stick around when one of those fly, i'm gonna marry her! :D
 
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Dan Hunter

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ok thats 1 of the stranger sarging tactics i've heard but what ever works for you:D
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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italostud

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Originally posted by Caveman
Good god! I had a good one the other day. It me me run away from myself so if she would stick around when one of those fly, i'm gonna marry her! :D
Click to expand...
I don't know about you guys, but no matter how raunchy my farts are, I always tilt my head back and take a big fukin wiff. It's like smelling gasoline.
 
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Caveman

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Yeah well.. ever did one after having lots of garlic sauce?
you take a big wiff and you are O U T !! :D
 
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italostud

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Originally posted by Caveman
Yeah well.. ever did one after having lots of garlic sauce?
you take a big wiff and you are O U T !! :D
Click to expand...
Caveman, my colon produces noxious gases capable of peeling paint off of walls, but I still smell it...
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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K

KiInCollege

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This is one of the more advanced screening techniques. I would use this when I've already gotten the girl's interest, and by accident.
 
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Caveman

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i blame the dog.. He always has that guilty look! :D
 
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Bungo Pony

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Why do I have the sudden urge to watch South Park's Terrance & Phillip special? You might also wanna try searching for treasure on one of your dates.
 
M

MindOverMatter

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Why stop there? Why not just drop your pants, and take a steaming sh!t in front of them?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Good_ol_boy

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Originally posted by MindOverMatter
Why stop there? Why not just drop your pants, and take a steaming sh!t in front of them?
Click to expand...
No!, No!, No1, you have to start out gently at first. Start with a nice golden shower!:)
 
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_XT_

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Great thing to do on the first date, then ask her straight afterwards for a second date :rolleyes:
 
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Jon E

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I say we give Donny his very own weekly sosuave.com advice column. I mean, last week it was "let's go condom shopping" and now this week its "let's go fart on them". :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

This stuff is gold guys, pure gold! With with game like that, Donny must be having to pry all the women off him. Bawaahahahahahah!!!!! :D :D :D :p :p
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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