"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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The Derek Effect 2.0

thederekeffect1

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The Derek Effect v2.0:
Upgrades.

1) Axe will no longer be the official cologne of The Derek Effect.
Axe has betrayed The Derek Effect.
Tag wasn't even considered.
The official cologne of The Derek Effect 2.0 will be BOD.
However, keep in mind that Derek owns about 20 different bottles of cologne.

2) Karma has been banned from The Derek Effect.

3) God will be forced to close his eyes while The Derek Effect is in progress.

4) When The Derek Effect is in full effect - It will be possible for Derek to be in 2 places at once.

5) The Derek Effect will no longer wear off.

6) Derek will be able to travel at the speed of light.

7) Derek will be able to change his occupation, appearance and wealth at any time. (No longer will I have to ACT like James Bond, I can litterally BE James Bond).

8) Gods name will now be replaced with Dereks in the Bible.

Penis Upgrades:
- Changeable Size
- Comes in 3 colors (black, white and asian)
- Will be able to vibrate.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Create Reality

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If Chuck Norris saw this post he would laugh fire and ignite this thread to a heap of flames.

:D :rolleyes:
 

thederekeffect1

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Originally posted by Create Reality
If Chuck Norris saw this post he would laugh fire and ignite this thread to a heap of flames.

:D :rolleyes:
True. True. But I figured I'd post this while he isn't around.

Then again, after the upgrade is complete... I can turn myself into Chuck Norris.
 

Don Pablo

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Originally posted by thederekeffect1
True. True. But I figured I'd post this while he isn't around.

Then again, after the upgrade is complete... I can turn myself into Chuck Norris.
Help, I'm being posessed by Chuck Norris!

/Foolish mortal, there can be only one Chuck Norris.
*Roundhouse Kick*
\

Look what you've done!
 

Derek Flint

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Cool - will this apply to me as well?

:crackup:
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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