"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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The Definition of Living On Inside an Ex's Head

The Mad Ghost

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I remember a seasoned member here mentioned this when probing a new user to turn cheek about the misfortunes of his break up with a girlfriend. What does it mean to live on inside of an ex's head?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Desdinova

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If you can give her an extremely thoughtful gift, you will make a permanent dent in her mind. She will forever keep that damn thing, and will pop back into your life every few years hoping to re-kindle how much you cared about her, and how thoughtful you were towards her.

The best thing to do is reject her. She's doing it only for selfish reasons and NOT because she's learned her lesson.
 

Julius_Seizeher

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I think you live on in an ex's head when you follow the SS advice on breakups to a T. No emotion, agree with her, and that's it.

At the end of every classic western, John Wayne or Clint Eastwood sais something stoically poignant and rides off on his horse, the damsel standing on the porch longing for the return of this mysterious man who came and went like the wind. He didn't act like a weak beggar, he was a man of character and went where HE was going, not where he thought SHE would want him to go.

That is the metaphor I picture for living on in your ex's head-you don't cry or beg or act like a pvssy in any way, you tip your hat and ride away.

And when you have TRULY arrived, the desire to live on in her head will not exist, it will simply manifest as a result of who you are.
 

drak_ool

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real life example: after breaking up with my last gf I went no contact on her. She kept txting/calling me for about 2 years... To this day, common friends tell me she's still asking about me and what's going on my life.
 
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