LearningSlowly
Master Don Juan
Im going to get a new passport in the morning, but yeah you definitely can. Gotta think about what to tell my parents. I'll talk to you on facebook.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Yeah Josh recommended something along the lines of referring to my car as the "sexmobile", but I'll describe that more in a little bit.Jack Wealthy said:I used to hate your texting, now I don't mind it. I still don't like it. It just seems corny, like you're texting her while pulling the troll face or something. But the actual direction you text is good, you're a bit too easy to get but that's a problem I only just got over. I would reccomend less sexualisation of them (less compliments, cutie, I was thinkin about you, etc.) and more sexualization of yourself and the scenario. Like "this beach we're going to is sexy." or more likely something about you to interacting, over texting you can be ultra confronting like that and say stuff that would normally be forward.
Also, nice to read something new man. Push it.
Jelly of meeting up with Josh![]()
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Which girl? HB Destiny?Jack Wealthy said:About the one before that one: Take steps back, give her room, then come back in.
Thanks man, nice to hear from you for onceMindgamez said:Well done BPH. Man it sucks for you guys for loosing your targets at the party. BPH, I like how you stepped back from Grace and told Learning about the situation. I would've done the same for my bro.
About the mall when you had a terrible reaction, did you tell her about her behavior?
Too bad obhe was shyer than you guys. I'm around this level myself and I'm still taking small steps.
It's great to have a friend from the forum with you so you can analyse what you did and think about what you've done right or wrong. You seem like a cool dude BPH![]()
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Write about it? Start a journal bro.ohbe said:Had a great time with you guysGlad the forums are back up.
Hmm. Just the fact that its a facebook message makes me not too happy about this one. But hey, I got my only LTR by messaging her on facebook. I was kinda goofy though, plowed through any creepiness and sent her a video of a chimp on a segway and just kept talking.BPH said:After that I just walk away and everything's fine. Then later on Facebook I find her and decide to message here, and here's how that went:
Me: Hey are you that girl I met at work today?
Her: yeah!
Me: I don't want this to be weird but you are really sexy, are you free this saturday?
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Don't. If she won't reply to a facebook message, she definitely won't give you her number.BPH said:Might chill with HB Carla this weekend. I don't have work this weekend so I won't be seeing HB Alex. By the way, she has not replied to my Facebook message. I'm thinking about either waiting another week until I see her, or just messaging her again to give me her number.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.