She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
It's a picture I took from my phone, I have it in my e-mail but I'm not sure what I have to do with it to put it online in a link.StormScar said:Where can I see that picture of yours? I'm really curious of your progress...For how long have you been working out?
google it.BPH said:It's a picture I took from my phone, I have it in my e-mail but I'm not sure what I have to do with it to put it online in a link.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That's not the point.Pair A Dice said:What did she pull this time? All she said was that she was busy and couldn't talk.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Think you'll be able to approach at work at all?BPH said:I was surprised, by the end about 3 cute girls came in, and in all the times I've worked out, I've never seen a doable girl walk into this gym.
Anyway that's about it, oh and HB Kaitlin flaked again. 3 strikes, that b!tch is OUT.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Hmm I don't think so. She's been playing him, going no contact is the best option right now. It'll show that he has some self respect, and she'll start trying to win him over (or she'll go find other guys to leech attention off of, and that's fine too) and from there she won't flake on a date.NorwegianDJ said:I dont really do the 3 strikes thing if I dont have any girls on the side. Just invite her to places that from now on it doesnt require effort to get to. Like your house, somewhere close, at school, etc.
I've been sensing this a lot lately. I think you need to get back into the headspace you were in when you first picked up Kaitlin and you'll find yourself with a lot more opportunity than you think.BPH said:Now I'm a little annoyed by my difficulty with women.
I don't think it's my mindset really. I think that it's more the factors that I described, because if I meet a girl that's super interested I really don't have a place to take her and then I must rely on her.LearningSlowly said:I've been sensing this a lot lately. I think you need to get back into the headspace you were in when you first picked up Kaitlin and you'll find yourself with a lot more opportunity than you think.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.