"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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"The best laid plans of Men and Mice...."

S

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
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Dear All,
So I was invited to Lunch to meet the Family of a beautiful Polish Woman...I have mentioned her a few times...A Marilyn Monroe style of Couger...with a figure to die for...A great Dancer,and all round lovely Lady...

And so the lunch went super well,met the family,I was quite the avuncular consort..everyone went home,we talked,she went to the kitchen with the port glasses...Went up behind her,wrapped my arms around her waist,nibbled her ear,matters progressed,she led me by the hand to the boudoir...bed made and turned down,lubricant on the little side table...Pretty obvious she had decided days ago,to escalate things,had everything ready...then the Bobshell dropped"Look Scarra,before we get down to business,there is something you should know...I have had a double masectomy"...To say I was Gob-Slapped would be an understatement...My shock must have shown,when I recovered my composure,I simply said "Oh........Look I'm not like that,I hardly know you,got a hard Day tomorrow,I had better get on my pony and go"...

How pathetically lame,what a heel I felt,this morning I feel lower than a Black Snakes belly button.....So I ask,what would you Guys have done?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Peaks&Valleys

Peaks&Valleys

Master Don Juan
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Masectomy.

Honestly...

I probably would have banged her. Fvck it.

Better than feeling guilty :/

Still time, may want to surprise this one with an unexpected visit...
 
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S

Slickster

Master Don Juan
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A single mastectomy would be more weird.

Would this have been any different than sexing a flat chested woman?
 
S

Scormus

Senior Don Juan
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In your shoes I say:

"Like Angelina Jolie."

And do the deed.
 
M

Married Buried

Master Don Juan
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So was she totally flat chested or what, stuffing he bra? How else could you not know?

Not sure what I would have done but I think would have plowed anyway.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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B

Ballie57

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Ha Ha that's so funny :)

To say I was Gob-Slapped would be an understatement...My shock must have shown,when I recovered my composure,I simply said "Oh........Look I'm not like that,I hardly know you,got a hard Day tomorrow,I had better get on my pony and go"...
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Especially after she displayed false "Marylin Monroe" credentials and failed to have the goods! Like buying a motorbike with two flat tires!
 
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