B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
Earlier today, i picked the day and place but didn't set the time. My question is should i reach out and text her the time or wait for her to confirm?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Texting to set up a date
- Thread starter B0redandl0nely
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
Calling her directly shows so much more confidence. If you get her VM, just tell her to call you back or you'll call back at a certain time so you can TALK about details.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
So you think leaving it alone at this point is like the date is still up in the air?
Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
Yes, pick up the phone call her and be direct and confident. TELL her (not ask) what YOUR plan is. Make a few jokes and or give her some crap in a playful way depending on what you're doing. Get her juiced up.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
I'm not great on the phone though.. Either way, it's Friday night now
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
Id like to get nismos opinion on this one...
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
More opinions please
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
you don't think I should just wait for her to reach out and ask if we're still on at this point? I think I'll be verifying the date if I reach out. Verifying promotes flaking. This is giving me massive anxiety.
Cancel the date and suggest rescheduling for next week.
Its something I've been doing a lot lately. Flaking out to up her interest level. I only do this to girls when they don't seem very excited to go out with me. In fact, until I get some level of excitement, I won't even go on the date.
If you hate being nervous on dates.. this is the solution to that problem. Don't go on the date until the girl's interest level seems high.
Its something I've been doing a lot lately. Flaking out to up her interest level. I only do this to girls when they don't seem very excited to go out with me. In fact, until I get some level of excitement, I won't even go on the date.
If you hate being nervous on dates.. this is the solution to that problem. Don't go on the date until the girl's interest level seems high.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
It does seem high and she's hot. I just ****ed up by not putting a time out there.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
I'm scared to text her now because it's 8pm Friday night and I don't wanna seem like a loser although it might be best because it wouldn't be a last minute confirmation at this point
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
I'm really disappointed no one has provided me with a concrete answer. I'm extremely socially inept and I do not know what is happening in this situation or how to proceed. She's really hot and if I get her on this date I think it'll be good
marmel75
Master Don Juan
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You are turning this into way way too big of a deal. It's one girl, if she flakes so what?? And no, I think you should act like a man and tell her when the date is. First of all, there is nothing that "promotes" flaking. She is either interested and wants to see you or not interested and doesn't. In fact, this gives you the chance to plan something else out if she does.
"Hey, Stacy I wanted to meet at xx at 7pm. Does that work for you?"
One of three things is going to happen.
1) She says yeah that sounds good
2) No, I am still at work...can we do 8?
3) Oh...sorry but I have to cancel...blah blah BS excuse
marmel75
Master Don Juan
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How the hell do you think you'll be good o the date if you are socially inept?? That's where you will sink faster than a person in quicksand if you are as inept as you claim to be.
This smells trollish....
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
beforeimgone
Master Don Juan
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If she didn't realize that you forgot that then telling her won't make a difference
Yes, the takeaway is effective early on.
1) If she is bitter, she'll show you. If you get a thumbs up (the lamest, one-character reply possible) for example, dump her.
2) If she is sweet, you will want to make it up to her. This happened to me this week as I braced myself for a psycho she turned out to be sweet.
3) The move is akin to getting a job offer and asking for more money. The employer is actually happy that you asked for more - it's like an item you are bidding on having another bid. In that case, you only risk the difference between bids. It reassures you that you didn't overbid. The takeaway reminds her that she was getting a good deal.
OP, if you got no reply, try the takeaway. She would have said "Ok, what time?" if she really wanted to go.
SmooveMooves
Master Don Juan
Was waiting on this answer. Seems like common sense. If you are planning something and neither of you think to bring up "hey what time is this happening" it's not happening. Sorta like where you tell that distant cousin on a get together that you guys gotta stay in contact and are going to "talk more."
This is b0redandl0nely under a different username. I said "Ooh forgot let's meet at 4." And she said "On Monday ok 
" Then she told me she was working till 4:30am tonight (Friday) which makes me think she could have thought I meant meet up tonight? I dunno. But is the answer I got one I could relax with? I'm bipolar and rejection sensitive that's why I'm like this. I'm trying to work it out in therapy (unsuccessful so far) and live my life in the meantime.
" Then she told me she was working till 4:30am tonight (Friday) which makes me think she could have thought I meant meet up tonight? I dunno. But is the answer I got one I could relax with? I'm bipolar and rejection sensitive that's why I'm like this. I'm trying to work it out in therapy (unsuccessful so far) and live my life in the meantime.beforeimgone
Master Don Juan
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Lol yes. You got this
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.