finickywake
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2014
- Messages
- 49
- Reaction score
- 2
So I've gotten a few numbers the past week & a half. First I want to explain: I'm really new to this in certain ways. A.) I used to drink a fifth of whiskey a day (which established a very different lifestyle, self-image, mannerisms, frame, etc...) B.) I'm a few weeks out of a relationship with a girl I was seeing off & on for years who is BPD (e.g., she once sliced her wrists open in front of me, and cut me in the process, flailing wildly about; I could provide numerous examples, but I'd rather not). When with her, during off periods, I never once had an issue finding another girl or two. But I was drinking then.
This is the problem I've had this past week: girls will text me, show high interest, send pictures, even go as far as asking "when are we gonna hang out!?". As soon as I say, "this time, this place" it's dead silence. I don't want to text back after not hearing their response. I was wondering if you all could point me to some reading on texting or provide concrete examples of the types of conversations you guys have in text before asking for the date/setting it up. And also give me an idea of what I can do with them the first time we hang out that doesn't involve drinking. Furthermore, is it better to offer to pick them up or to meet them somewhere in public first?
I have to laugh at all of this because I seriously have no idea what the F is going on. It all used to just seem to happen naturally. I never 'dated' before. I just met girls and soon enough found them at my place or at me at theirs. Now it feels forced (sober), it feels like I'm just another average joe trying to 'date', and like there's effort required (majority of which I don't want to put in), and perhaps I somehow exude that in texts? I'm pretty slow to reply, short & direct, I don't text any more than they do, and I don't really beat around the bush either. I'm not flirty, I think that's the issue maybe[?]. I don't know how to text-flirt, or I don't know how to use 'smileys' properly or something.
I feel like silence is worse than flat out saying no, at least then they'd have provided a ****ing response!
Input, advice, links, etc... much appreciated.
This is the problem I've had this past week: girls will text me, show high interest, send pictures, even go as far as asking "when are we gonna hang out!?". As soon as I say, "this time, this place" it's dead silence. I don't want to text back after not hearing their response. I was wondering if you all could point me to some reading on texting or provide concrete examples of the types of conversations you guys have in text before asking for the date/setting it up. And also give me an idea of what I can do with them the first time we hang out that doesn't involve drinking. Furthermore, is it better to offer to pick them up or to meet them somewhere in public first?
I have to laugh at all of this because I seriously have no idea what the F is going on. It all used to just seem to happen naturally. I never 'dated' before. I just met girls and soon enough found them at my place or at me at theirs. Now it feels forced (sober), it feels like I'm just another average joe trying to 'date', and like there's effort required (majority of which I don't want to put in), and perhaps I somehow exude that in texts? I'm pretty slow to reply, short & direct, I don't text any more than they do, and I don't really beat around the bush either. I'm not flirty, I think that's the issue maybe[?]. I don't know how to text-flirt, or I don't know how to use 'smileys' properly or something.
I feel like silence is worse than flat out saying no, at least then they'd have provided a ****ing response!
Input, advice, links, etc... much appreciated.