"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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texting girl

pyros

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Hi.


I met this girl at my ballroom lessons. We danced together for a bit, and at the end of the class, we just talked for 8-10 minutes because she was in a bit of a hurry. I asked for her number but since she's a foreign student, she said she did not know it. So I suggested to add her in facebook, she agreeded and gave me her full name.

Now, I did not add her as a friend in FB because it kills all the mystery, so I just sent her a FB message two days later suggesting we go out to grab a drink.

Im thinking that it might have been better if I had talked to her a bit more, or on another occasion and then ask for a date (since we just briefly talked, but the mood was good).


Suggestions? Could I have done better?


Thanks.
:cheer:
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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bigneil

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If a woman claims her phone number is not stored in Arabic Numerals, it's safe to say she is not interested.

Here's another bad sign:

"What is your number?"
"I forget."
 

pyros

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Hi.

I mean, the girl is from Sweeden, but shes in my country styuding, so I asked for her number here, but she has not memorized it. I think that is pretty normal.
 

switch

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^for guys:normal
for girls:no
but still there could be the chance that she didnt know her number...if she was interested she would say something like:
"ok let me get my phone and give you a miss call" or something like that...
anyway wait and see how she replies to your message
 

Ringleader41

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Just because the girl is from Sweden doesn't mean she's mentally retarded. Sweden is a first world country you know.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

izza

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I'm going to suggest something radical, namely that if you build a genuine connection with a lady, she might even just tell the truth.

Anyway, what you did sounds fine. Omg, "keep the mystery" you're trying too hard. Sounds like you're focused on results rather than making your dreams come alive. Instead of asking "does this maintain mystery" I suggest asking "do I genuinely want to friend her on fb?"

A lot of guys are so desperate they don't genuinely do what they want. They end up trying too hard and not doing what they truly want.

Izza
 

Pimp-sicle

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Im thinking that it might have been better if I had talked to her a bit more, or on another occasion and then ask for a date (since we just briefly talked, but the mood was good).
Why do you feel this way? Did she respond to your FB message yet?

To answer that question about it really depends. If you create attraction quickly and the girl is receptive, then asking her out then and there will work well.

However what I like to do, esp when I KNOW I will be seeing the girl regularly wherever it is...... is to create tons of attraction, be seen as the outgoing fun guy in the group and then NOT ask her out. I know, I can feel everyone on the board being like "whaaaaaa!" In my experience this create tons of attraction, value and when the girl see's you chatting with other girls and having a great time she will be more intrigued.

If she doesn't respond to your FB message don't bring it up. Just continue flirting with her in the dance class, then periodically pulling away your attention and once you feel she's showing more interest ask her out again. Instead of doing it over FB, I'd do right there in person so you can read her body language and get a better gauge of her interest.







PIMP
 
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