"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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texting girl

pyros

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Hi.


I met this girl at my ballroom lessons. We danced together for a bit, and at the end of the class, we just talked for 8-10 minutes because she was in a bit of a hurry. I asked for her number but since she's a foreign student, she said she did not know it. So I suggested to add her in facebook, she agreeded and gave me her full name.

Now, I did not add her as a friend in FB because it kills all the mystery, so I just sent her a FB message two days later suggesting we go out to grab a drink.

Im thinking that it might have been better if I had talked to her a bit more, or on another occasion and then ask for a date (since we just briefly talked, but the mood was good).


Suggestions? Could I have done better?


Thanks.
:cheer:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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bigneil

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If a woman claims her phone number is not stored in Arabic Numerals, it's safe to say she is not interested.

Here's another bad sign:

"What is your number?"
"I forget."
 

pyros

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Hi.

I mean, the girl is from Sweeden, but shes in my country styuding, so I asked for her number here, but she has not memorized it. I think that is pretty normal.
 

switch

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^for guys:normal
for girls:no
but still there could be the chance that she didnt know her number...if she was interested she would say something like:
"ok let me get my phone and give you a miss call" or something like that...
anyway wait and see how she replies to your message
 

Ringleader41

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Just because the girl is from Sweden doesn't mean she's mentally retarded. Sweden is a first world country you know.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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izza

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I'm going to suggest something radical, namely that if you build a genuine connection with a lady, she might even just tell the truth.

Anyway, what you did sounds fine. Omg, "keep the mystery" you're trying too hard. Sounds like you're focused on results rather than making your dreams come alive. Instead of asking "does this maintain mystery" I suggest asking "do I genuinely want to friend her on fb?"

A lot of guys are so desperate they don't genuinely do what they want. They end up trying too hard and not doing what they truly want.

Izza
 

Pimp-sicle

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Im thinking that it might have been better if I had talked to her a bit more, or on another occasion and then ask for a date (since we just briefly talked, but the mood was good).
Why do you feel this way? Did she respond to your FB message yet?

To answer that question about it really depends. If you create attraction quickly and the girl is receptive, then asking her out then and there will work well.

However what I like to do, esp when I KNOW I will be seeing the girl regularly wherever it is...... is to create tons of attraction, be seen as the outgoing fun guy in the group and then NOT ask her out. I know, I can feel everyone on the board being like "whaaaaaa!" In my experience this create tons of attraction, value and when the girl see's you chatting with other girls and having a great time she will be more intrigued.

If she doesn't respond to your FB message don't bring it up. Just continue flirting with her in the dance class, then periodically pulling away your attention and once you feel she's showing more interest ask her out again. Instead of doing it over FB, I'd do right there in person so you can read her body language and get a better gauge of her interest.







PIMP
 
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