"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Texting and chatting kill attraction but what if she keeps initiating?

StacksHitEmUp

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So yeah, how to deal with a female who keeps initiating texts or facebook chat? I usually just keep it light and funny, but I don't like it because it feels pointless to me if I don't have anything extraordinary to tell. I text to set up dates, not to bs around. It also makes things boring. This chick keeps initiating Facebook chat with me and if not she'll text me. I'm trying my best to avoid it. How do you guys deal with this issue?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Maximus Rex

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If you're not planning to f*ck a woman soon, why are to talking to her? Only talk to her when you are making moves. PlayHer Man
 

wifehunter

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texting and calls can get tricky... by nature they make you too available... would be nice if phones would let you automatically send specified people a vacation response or something like that! That way you could program your phone to make you less available.
 

wifehunter

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Got it... if your phone has a contact assignable notification/ring tone, find or make a blank .wav file (no sound), then you wont hear her when she texts/calls. You'll get to her in your own time.
 

marmel75

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As long as you aren't being lame and coming across as desperate you are fine.

The issue is most guys come across as lame and desperate
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Building_and_Loan

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Reply hours later...like 5 or 6 hours later.
Not sure I agree with this, as it could fall into the "overgaming" category. Rather than looking like you have a bunch of things to do, it just makes it look like you aren't interested. That's how she'll interpret it anyway and probably will move on before too long.

I would just be up front with her and apologize in advance that you're not much of a texter. Also sign out of Facebook chat so she can't message you.

When she does text, maybe yeah wait a while to respond, but then have a window of a certain part of the day (say when you get off of work) where you reply instantly for a bit, then tell her you have to get going and end it with "Have a good night!"
 

EyeBRollin

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If she's initiating you are in good shape (for now). That can change if you become too available.

Have set times when you can text. No texting at work, on the weekend evenings, while you're at the gym, or out with people. Make her wait. Also, always have somewhere to be. Exit the conversation and tell her to save it for when she sees you in person. Then get the hell off the phone. If you can't back your way out of a convo, tell her straight up you are busy and will talk to her another time.

Do this for a couple months and she will literally beg and complain for more time (this means you are doing everything perfectly). Make her earn every second of attention.
 

Alpheta

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I've changed my tactic recently. Before I would initiate sometimes but she would mostly.

However now it's been a month or less and I have done 0 initiating. That's the rule I have followed and I kid you not she has initiated every single time and every time she seems more desperate and in "love" I reply to her texts if I need to but after some time. Sometimes Id respond quickly and carry the convo for a few minutes until I just vanish out or tell her up chat to her "soon" or il catch her "later" keeps her hanging.

I feel so so so much more stress free. I have all the power. She loves me more than even and everytime we meet up she's a puppy. Savouring every moment with me.
 

Atom Smasher

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That's why you're in the best position possible. The best balance in a relationship is always for the woman to always have a vague fear of losing you. If that dynamic does not exist, usually it's the man fearing losing her.

However, in dread game, as it's called, the man must offset it with random shows of affection. You might on very rare occasions initiate a text. VERY rare. If that is not appropriate for you, then another type of encouragement for her would be good. You seem to "get it" so I won't elaborate.

I've always had extremely good results with this formula. I keep them guessing, but occasionally offset her stress with a show of affection. This creates reference points for her to look back to when she feels frustrated.
 

StacksHitEmUp

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I personally believe that when they initiate communications--whether its text or Facebook or whatever--you've already won the frame. The only problem that you have is that you aren't inviting them to meet you.
Yeah, but I've got exams in college for the next three weeks and I'm focusing on that right now because I ****ed up last year. I don't plan on initiating or talking much to her and then when I'm done with exams I'll hit her up to do something.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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El Payaso

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Tell her you're busy and you can't talk.
 
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