Text rapport VS asking out

stringpuller

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A little advice here would be sweet. My kid sister's BF has for ages talked about this "nice girl" he knows of who "doesn't get out much" in his words. He kept suggesting I meet her, even saying she "wants to know me", so eventually I thought "why not" and contacted her on FB. She didn't reply and so I assumed it was all BS.

After ten days or so she replies and we text a bit. Some c*cky funny from me, establishing my frame and interests and a little probing of her frankly seemingly dull persona, and I say "Ok let's stop texting, I'll meet you soon, instead". I wait a week and, not having met or knowing really anything about her, drop her another text playfully exploring her lack of travel and telling her I'll be in her town next week and we should meet up. She replies "poi vedremo" which translates to "eventually we'll see".

Since I don't know her, it isn't easy engaging her libido via cold texting. She seems fairly uninteresting overall, admitting to having no hobbies and very little formal education. I just need to smash a warm pu$$y already, so who cares about any of that. But it isn't making engaging with her easy. The logical thing would be to maybe text game her lightly over a month or so, and then see if she'll meet me, with anything but a hard "Yes!" being my cue to next her.

Her birthday is next week, I was planning to not say Happy Birthday though and ignore her for at least 10 days or so.
Text frame is very important in the digital world. Add it to your list of things to practice. Like i see a lot in text. We blow right through the point of no return.
 
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Who Dares Win

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It isnt cutting to the chase that makes them ghost or flake. They never intended to meet or have sex with you. Thats why you cut to the chase, to weed them out. Your idea that valuing your own time turns them off is delusional. Women want men who respect themselves, and they know what theyre doing. She either intends to fvck you in the first few seconds after seeing you or your pictures, or not.

You wanna talk big fat scams? Spending your energy to give a woman validation and entertainment for free, then thinking the problem was you not being enough of an ingratiating circus monkey for her. Youre kidding me dude.

PS. @Who Dares Win has called italy part of europes "dead zone" for dating along with i think it was spain, Portugal and greece. Maybe a vacation, say to asia, would do you good.
Agree with what you said about the reason for them to ghost guys, regarding that last part you have a good memory.

That behaviour from women op describes is typycal of the dead pvssy zone triangle (spain-italy-greece), the kind of misbehaviour that american guys describe as more common by the day from the last 10 years has been the norm in such area since forever.

I recall when I was travelling around Europe in my late teens it was already like that and Im in my mid 30s now.

You move to austria or germany and it seems like living in an other world, then moves east and even more.
 

stringpuller

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She said "we'll see" which to me means "no, for now".

Just saying that the established wisdom of asking a girl you haven't met out as quickly as possible and skipping the building of rapport online or via text, is a big fat scam. It doesn't work. They won't go out with me if they don't know me.
Logistics only as said above. It only gets a bit more chatty as a LTR develops. 80/20 is the best to go by. Some where in that area. Point is they love to chase.
It took her 10 days to reply. And I'm sure you texted right back. You gave up the frame.
Frame is the foundation.
 

stormrider

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A little advice here would be sweet. My kid sister's BF has for ages talked about this "nice girl" he knows of who "doesn't get out much" in his words. He kept suggesting I meet her, even saying she "wants to know me", so eventually I thought "why not" and contacted her on FB. She didn't reply and so I assumed it was all BS.

After ten days or so she replies and we text a bit. Some c*cky funny from me, establishing my frame and interests and a little probing of her frankly seemingly dull persona, and I say "Ok let's stop texting, I'll meet you soon, instead". I wait a week and, not having met or knowing really anything about her, drop her another text playfully exploring her lack of travel and telling her I'll be in her town next week and we should meet up. She replies "poi vedremo" which translates to "eventually we'll see".

Since I don't know her, it isn't easy engaging her libido via cold texting. She seems fairly uninteresting overall, admitting to having no hobbies and very little formal education. I just need to smash a warm pu$$y already, so who cares about any of that. But it isn't making engaging with her easy. The logical thing would be to maybe text game her lightly over a month or so, and then see if she'll meet me, with anything but a hard "Yes!" being my cue to next her.

Her birthday is next week, I was planning to not say Happy Birthday though and ignore her for at least 10 days or so.
You are another victim of the whole “male seducer” frame.

Your entire game is trying to manipulate an outcome by trying to impress her with your “game”. From this frame, you’ve already blown yourself out by qualifying yourself and supplicating to her.

I’m going to disagree with most on this thread and say you CAN attempt to establish a frame over text. But it doesn’t mean she will fall into it.

Your frame should be “let me find out if this girl is interesting”.

This is the frame of a high value guy with abundance.

Women are used to guys rewarding them for being pretty and nothing else. So their default state is to give you the window dressing.

That’s why she appeared uninteresting.

And you rewarded her for window dressing, which caused her to view you as a low value guy with no standards.

A high value guy asks for more than window dressing.

I would have qualified her on her interests, hobbies, goals in life, things she likes to do for fun, etc.

It is only when she opens up to me and reveals what is unique about her that I show interest.

Her effort = my reward. I do not supplicate. I only appreciate a woman that has depth to her.

And the more I appreciate her unique self, the more I bring it out of her. In a sense, I am almost molding her to be her best self around me.

And after she’s completely opened up to me and made an effort to express her real self, that’s when I reward her with “I just realized that not just are you sexy but you are also (insert unique quality). I really like that about you. Let’s hang out sometime.”

This paints me as the validator. I’m the source of validation, not her. She was the one who qualified herself to ME.

This frame will probably skip over most peoples heads.

It doesn’t matter if I am on text, in the night club, at the gym, social event, etc.

I prompt women to make an effort to open up her unique self to me and show me more than just window dressing before I show her any type of interest.

This makes her see me as a high value guy with standards and also makes her feel appreciated for being her, and not just another pretty face.

She feels comfortable showing me different shades of her. Something most guys don’t see. This is what romance is. Being naked in front of another person. Metaphorically.

In short, my frame is she has to seduce ME with her feminine charms and interesting personality before I validate her and escalate things.

Now whether or not she is willing to submit to my frame is a whole different story. I set the frame. If she doesn’t submit, there is no romance.
 
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Visionist

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It was entirely flirty in fact, most of the questions were from her end and I only gave her C&F statements instead of questions in return. I even joked "ah, goodbye then" when she said she isn't rich or important. C&F is my natural thing and always will be, I don't know or care to learn anything else.

Rather than her coming across as uninteresting as some sort of sh!t test, she came across as actually uninteresting and incapable of being so, which is why I got bored and soon told her "enough texting". Her pictures certainly aren't much to look at anyway and that's probably the main issue here. I didn't make her also wait ten days when she first replied, but I waited 5 hours or so.

Overall, I like easy lays, like, ridiculously easy. I tend to stick to girls who are instantly smitten with me and blow up my phone, although so far none of them have been attractive enough for my tastes. I don't subscribe to the whole "if she's hard to get I'm more attracted" schtick. As soon as she said "we'll see" those words put her in the category of women who like to waste my time, and I could feel my interest slipping away fast. That was last week and since then I'm even less interested in seeing her. She might even be a landwhale for all I know lol :eek:
 
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Visionist

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lgbs2004

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lgbs2004

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Obviously @Visionist you're blue pill and lacking some experience. Tell me please, why would your friend try to set you up with a girl, eh? Obviously, because you're single and thirsty, or in other words unsuccessful with women. Your attitude in your original post reflects it. Either we see each other, or no. As if you have other options. Perhaps you do, but not a lot of them.

With this girl, everything is lost, she said we'll see. That means a no. Natural thing of chasing her ass will not do anything. And there is no such thing as in italian culture (or whatever culture) you have to chase them, or she is old fashioned, or whatever. No! World doesn't work like that. Everything in this world is constant with DJ game no matter the culture.

I can bet my two cents that your texting with her was 100% platonic, there was no flirting. There is also good chance that she didn't even sht test you, or if she did you failed, or didn't even see it. So asking her out from platonic phase?? What kind of result did you expect here?

I can't text, that is an excuse you made up for yourself.
I can't talk on the phone, that is also an excuse you made up for yourself.

As if when time comes to meet with her in person, you will be that prince. No it won't be like that. When the time comes, you will be saying I can't meet with girls, I prefer just go straight to sex part and be done with it. Then there is no point in women whatsoever, god gave you right hand, use it.

Texting can be learned by watching youtube and practicing. Talking on the phone also can be learned, again youtube and practicing. When you saying I can't text or talk on the phone, all that means you do not have experience and afraid to try it, your mind just shutting you down. You even coming up with excuse, it's either she meet me or fck it.

But why would she meet you? You are not interesting.

No, texting her more, warming her up, or whatever you call it, will not work. Kissing ass never works. In fact she already has an idea of who you are, you can't change that frame. You see, each text conversation (online dating for example) has four parts to it. Silence, Sht test, platonic, flirting. You treat each part differently, you approach each part differently. You do not ask her out when she is giving you silence, you do not ask her out when she sht testing you, or when you two are having a platonic conversation - sht, what you do for a living, I work at a bar, do you want to go out? We'll see. :rolleyes: That kind of sht has a place to be, if you're an underwear model with build body, and are a 9 to chicks, so that they jump on you, it sometimes will work. But you're not, stop acting like you are.

You treat silence with fun witty one liners that are about you and her, and you don't ask questions, something she don't have to reply to.
You treat sht tests like her investing into you her time, good thing, you just pass the sht test, and don't follow up, ask questions, you let her come back at you.
Platonic conversations are good, and you write something short and flirt to get out of it.
Flirting is when you start making plans, that's when you get her number and give her a call and flirt some more on the phone.
From this phase you make a qualifier question, vague suggestion, find out her schedule, and make plans. Are you an adventurous person? What’s your view on drinks and witty banter? When are you free this week? Let meet this day this time!

You had a conversation which was going nowhere from the start because you had no plan. Start planning your moves.
Superb post!
 

Visionist

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If anything, I'm borderline black pill these days. Haven't been blue pilled in about ten years. I told my mother a while back "you will never hold a grandchild in your arms" after she kept pestering me to get married (she's a staunch Roman Catholic you see).

I can't have kids anyway lmao.
 
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stringpuller

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Would you change your natural way? I will never stop treating women as a bit of a joke, someone to make light of and poke fun at.
Yes i get it. But to say you dont care to learn anymore in this space? Maybe i misread your meaning on that.
To me if Im not learning im not growing. But to each his own gig.
 

redskinsfan92

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A little advice here would be sweet. My kid sister's BF has for ages talked about this "nice girl" he knows of who "doesn't get out much" in his words. He kept suggesting I meet her, even saying she "wants to know me", so eventually I thought "why not" and contacted her on FB. She didn't reply and so I assumed it was all BS.

After ten days or so she replies and we text a bit. Some c*cky funny from me, establishing my frame and interests and a little probing of her frankly seemingly dull persona, and I say "Ok let's stop texting, I'll meet you soon, instead". I wait a week and, not having met or knowing really anything about her, drop her another text playfully exploring her lack of travel and telling her I'll be in her town next week and we should meet up. She replies "poi vedremo" which translates to "eventually we'll see".

Since I don't know her, it isn't easy engaging her libido via cold texting. She seems fairly uninteresting overall, admitting to having no hobbies and very little formal education. I just need to smash a warm pu$$y already, so who cares about any of that. But it isn't making engaging with her easy. The logical thing would be to maybe text game her lightly over a month or so, and then see if she'll meet me, with anything but a hard "Yes!" being my cue to next her.

Her birthday is next week, I was planning to not say Happy Birthday though and ignore her for at least 10 days or so.
Text game results in a sudden stop in replies. Then you never hear from her again. You then realize you were simply her entertainment. Her television. Her radio. Don't be her radio!
 

Visionist

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So yesterday I brought this little footnote to a close by telling her I would be in her city "to treat myself to something" today and that if she was around, she would meet me at such & such bar this late afternoon. I was planning on having her tag along whilst I went to buy my first bottle of Aventus, and see what she was like. I'm gonna be in her neck of the woods anyway since I'm catching It 2 at a rare English language screening tonight. Hopefully it doesn't suck.

Anyway she replied immediately with "I can't come. Plus it's far away from my home" and I said "That's Ok" and left it at that. I hadn't contacted her since she replied "we'll see" to my invitation almost three weeks ago.

Normally, a girl simply won't reply at all if she's uninterested, or she'll accept and flake. This girl actually said no. It would be handy if they were all this direct.
 

stringpuller

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So yesterday I brought this little footnote to a close by telling her I would be in her city "to treat myself to something" today and that if she was around, she would meet me at such & such bar this late afternoon. I was planning on having her tag along whilst I went to buy my first bottle of Aventus, and see what she was like. I'm gonna be in her neck of the woods anyway since I'm catching It 2 at a rare English language screening tonight. Hopefully it doesn't suck.

Anyway she replied immediately with "I can't come. Plus it's far away from my home" and I said "That's Ok" and left it at that. I hadn't contacted her since she replied "we'll see" to my invitation almost three weeks ago.

Normally, a girl simply won't reply at all if she's uninterested, or she'll accept and flake. This girl actually said no. It would be handy if they were all this direct.
In todays market i think building rapport through text has diminished greatly. In mens romanticism fantasies and tendencies the likelihood of coming across girly is very high. IMO.
I just text as little as possible. Trying to be cute and bantering through text like a monkey comes across as try hard most of the time.
 
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devilkingx2

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Radical Opinion: the only reason to avoid texting is if you're afraid you'll **** it up by talking to her.

If you can get her on a date immediately then do so, use texting to feel her out and also talk about things that you won't necessarily want to bring up on the date.

If you have to be afraid that she'll think you re a needy boring loser, either you need to work on confidence and personality or you need to talk to girls who are actually interested.

Although these processes are quick so don't think it makes sense to text her for weeks before she'll go out with you.

Disclaimer: this is from the perspective of someone who's fun and interesting to talk to, my humor and charisma is one of my strong points. If you're not like that then perhaps avoid texting.
 

Visionist

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IT 2 started out pretty good but by the time the Chinese restaurant scene was over I was thinking "ah... this is one of those sequels..."

I was right. 6/10 to be generous. First film was a 6.5
 

Skyline

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I’m actually for texting to build rapport.

If you’re socially capable in real life then this shouldn’t be an issue. Who is seriously going to meet someone after minimal talk? I don’t even answer random numbers that call me and I assume most don’t either.

Women text/message a lot. If she’s boring over that then she’s probably boring in person. If you really just want to smash, you have to put in more effort than what it seems to be worth.

I say move on...
 
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