Talking about exs

[Dash Riprock]

I have considered telling her that her behavior is rude and give her the chance to correct it. Is that too beta?

It's a lot more beta if you DON'T say something. It's disrespectful, but overall, a minor violation. It's not like she f*ucked the NE Patriots and bragged about it. Same thing happened to me a while back. "Tiffany" had broken up with "John Paul" about a year prior. She would bring him up regularly. Finally, I said calmly and cooly, "Hey, Tiffany, I have zero interest in hearing about your ex boyfriends and would prefer to just focus on you and I, ok?"

She got the message.

Your girl will respect you a lot more if you bring it up in a non-b*uthurt manner.

 

[soulforge]

It's a lotp more beta if you DON'T say something. It's disrespectful, but overall, a minor violation. It's not like she f*ucked the NE Patriots and bragged about it. Same thing happened to me a while back. "Tiffany" had broken up with "John Paul" about a year prior. She would bring him up regularly. Finally, I said calmly and cooly, "Hey, Tiffany, I have zero interest in hearing about your ex boyfriends and would prefer to just focus on you and I, ok?"

She got the message.

Your girl will respect you a lot more if you bring it up in a non-b*uthurt manner.

This is also a good test to see how she reacts to your justified concerns..

If she gets defensive, argumentative, blaming etc, then you know your dealing with a bad apple or possible narcassist here..

If she reacts in a negative way, do NOT get angry.. Do NOT argue with her..

Simply watch, listen, observe, then later DUMP her ass.. You do not want a woman who disregards your feelings and concerns.

 

[Sneaky Pete]

Simply watch, listen, observe, then later DUMP her ass.. You do not want a woman who disregards your feelings and concerns.

despite wanting more with her, I will probably just dump her and move on. Gonna miss that pvssy!

 

[BeExcellent]

Just tell her man. Nothing beta about leading. No guy would find it normal for her going on incessantly about her exes.

Advice from the old lady:

She likely does not realize it bugs you. So if I were you I'd mention it and give her the opportunity to correct the behavior.

That way you can respect yourself and also continue to enjoy her physically.

This is something that can really vary from person to person. Some people are open about past experiences as an opportunity to get to know their partner...others are not. But that kind of dialogue or personal disclosure requires mutual trust and investment. It also requires a setting aside of ego and maturity. Great lovers seek to tailor the experiences for their partner and use information they learn about the partner to accomplish this. So what she shares may be in an effort to help you know & understand her.

Communication is not a "beta" behavior. Good communication honors you, gives you opportunity to speak your truth, and is actually a hallmark of leadership and maturity, which are "alpha" characteristics.

Communication is also a 2 way street. Great lovers have a depth of connection in addition to crazy physical chemistry. Mutual open communication is a foundational attribute to connection.

You need to let her know this behavior of hers bothers you & why but not in an adversarial way. Not in the bedroom either. Tell her. Go from there.

 

[Dash Riprock]

despite wanting more with her, I will probably just dump her and move on. Gonna miss that pvssy!

It would be premature to just dump her, maybe she doesn't even feel she's doing anything wrong. At least give her an opportunity to correct the behavior---> COMMUNICATE with her. She cannot read your mind anymore than you can read hers.

 

[Roober]

Advice from the old lady:

She likely does not realize it bugs you. So if I were you I'd mention it and give her the opportunity to correct the behavior.

That way you can respect yourself and also continue to enjoy her physically.

This is something that can really vary from person to person. Some people are open about past experiences as an opportunity to get to know their partner...others are not. But that kind of dialogue or personal disclosure requires mutual trust and investment. It also requires a setting aside of ego and maturity. Great lovers seek to tailor the experiences for their partner and use information they learn about the partner to accomplish this. So what she shares may be in an effort to help you know & understand her.

Communication is not a "beta" behavior. Good communication honors you, gives you opportunity to speak your truth, and is actually a hallmark of leadership and maturity, which are "alpha" characteristics.

Communication is also a 2 way street. Great lovers have a depth of connection in addition to crazy physical chemistry. Mutual open communication is a foundational attribute to connection.

You need to let her know this behavior of hers bothers you & why but not in an adversarial way. Not in the bedroom either. Tell her. Go from there.

I would agree with this...

I experienced this with my lady about 6 months ago...

I noticed my girl bringing up her recent ex periodically. Initially, I didn't really care, as it was sometimes in the context of the conversation, pretty infrequent (1-2 times per week), and never anything that I really cared about. More of something like "oh my brother hated him" or stupid stuff like that...

Then one week, I noticed a bit more, so I just put it to rest. "Listen, I don't really care to hear about your ex..." then I explained how it's us now, and I believe it is disrespectful and the behavior needs to stop...

She was floored. She responded with "I thought you didn't care. I am so sorry..." she apologized daily for the next week or so, and I haven't heard more than an occasional peep (once a month) since.

Non-chalant IDGAF attitiude is a bit of a double-edged sword, women end up believing you really don't care about most things, so they free themselves around you. The trick is to keep their communication open, but help them understand the boundaries.

This is the answer here...

This is also a good test to see how she reacts to your justified concerns..
If she gets defensive, argumentative, blaming etc, then you know your dealing with a bad apple or possible narcassist here..
If she reacts in a negative way, do NOT get angry.. Do NOT argue with her..
Simply watch, listen, observe, then later DUMP her ass.. You do not want a woman who disregards your feelings and concerns.

Watch how she reacts!

 

[soulforge]

Advice from the old lady:

She likely does not realize it bugs you. So if I were you I'd mention it and give her the opportunity to correct the behavior.

That way you can respect yourself and also continue to enjoy her physically.

This is something that can really vary from person to person. Some people are open about past experiences as an opportunity to get to know their partner...others are not. But that kind of dialogue or personal disclosure requires mutual trust and investment. It also requires a setting aside of ego and maturity. Great lovers seek to tailor the experiences for their partner and use information they learn about the partner to accomplish this. So what she shares may be in an effort to help you know & understand her.

Communication is not a "beta" behavior. Good communication honors you, gives you opportunity to speak your truth, and is actually a hallmark of leadership and maturity, which are "alpha" characteristics.

Communication is also a 2 way street. Great lovers have a depth of connection in addition to crazy physical chemistry. Mutual open communication is a foundational attribute to connection.

You need to let her know this behavior of hers bothers you & why but not in an adversarial way. Not in the bedroom either. Tell her. Go from there.

This is good advice... My ex was an Alpha widow.. She was with the same guy married for 20 years..

Even after getting divorced and 2 years later, she would mention him, in some way or another at least twice a week..

Yes it used to get on my nerves.. but I never raised the issue with her, i just let it go, from the fear of looking insecure and beta!

You will never be number one with an alpha widow, even if she stops talking about him at your request, she will never see you as her NUMBER ONE guy!

All that being said, give her the benefit of doubt.. If she gets defensive, argumentative... Then dump her ass!


Trust me on this.. Woman who don't take concern about your feelings, will treat you like utter crap.. just like my ex did..

 

[soulforge]

It would be premature to just dump her, maybe she doesn't even feel she's doing anything wrong. At least give her an opportunity to correct the behavior---> COMMUNICATE with her. She cannot read your mind anymore than you can read hers.

I agree... do not just dump her... some woman do not even realise what they are saying or doing..

Talk to her.. dump her based on her reaction...

Good reaction = keep smashing that puzzy

Bad reaction = show her the fuking door

 

[Roober]

This is good advice... My ex was an Alpha widow.. She was with the same guy married for 20 years..

Even after getting divorced and 2 years later, she would mention him, in some way or another at least twice a week..

Yes it used to get on my nerves.. but I never raised the issue with her, i just it go, from the fear of looking insecure and beta!

You will never be number one with an alpha widow, even if she stops talking about him at your request, she will never see you as her NUMBER ONE guy!

All that being said, give her the benefit of doubt.. If she gets defensive, argumentative... Then dump her ass!


Trust me on this.. Woman who don't take concern about your feelings, will treat you like utter crap.. just like my ex did..

Well, this is why every situation is completely different!

Your ex was with the guy for 20 years, likely more than half her life. You can't expect someone to spend 20 years with someone and not think of them periodically, even with a new partner.

 

[Desdinova]

So you like how she fvcks but can't stand spending "quality" time with her.

The answer is simple. Reduce the "quality" time you spend with her. Go to her place later, fvck the hell out of her, go to sleep, leave in the morning. This chick is obviously not worth any more than that. If she starts to complain, ditch her.

 

[dustmuffin]

I was in a simular situation as you. Talk about exes. I told her to knock it off or I would spank her a ss. She continued. ..I spanked her a ss and then she shut up.

 

[Sneaky Pete]

So you like how she fvcks but can't stand spending "quality" time with her.

The answer is simple. Reduce the "quality" time you spend with her. Go to her place later, fvck the hell out of her, go to sleep, leave in the morning. This chick is obviously not worth any more than that. If she starts to complain, ditch her.

Pretty spot on call, as this is what things have naturally evolved into anyway. I might spend a couple nights a wk at her place, nothing more, always arriving after 9 pm CST and leaving by 7 am CST.

 

[exhausted]

Its not like she is talking about them as the main subject. If we are talking about subject it’s like oh Michael and I did that, or if it’s what restaurant to go eat at, she’ll say something like it’s great, Steve and I ate there before. I’m starting to get tired of all that talk and thinking it might just be a red flag that she is not LTR material.

Jesus she is a fool.

Tell her you are dating her not them you don't care to hear about them.

If she has a problem with that then the problem is her and she is a narcissist its more about talking about herself. Then let her go.

Why do you think she is not married 12 years older than you? Because of this piss poor behavior.

 

[exhausted]

This is also a good test to see how she reacts to your justified concerns..

If she gets defensive, argumentative, blaming etc, then you know your dealing with a bad apple or possible narcassist here..

If she reacts in a negative way, do NOT get angry.. Do NOT argue with her..

Simply watch, listen, observe, then later DUMP her ass.. You do not want a woman who disregards your feelings and concerns.

EXACTLY correct here.

My ex npd would talk about her ex and i said something like " ya i dont really care to hear about him ok?"
And she got mad at me haha. I showed no emotion.

She later mentioned i was jealous.
Ugh i said jealous? Of a guy who has failed life and who lives in a chit apt down by the river and drives a crap car and has a crap job and makes no money while i have a nice home a good career and played in pro baseball prospect leagues?? Hahhaha. Fuch off.

Point is this is a narcissist red flag as they are more talking about themselves and are too stupid to see the disrespect.

Immediate eject here.
I wasted years not seeing this.

 

[soulforge]

EXACTLY correct here.

My ex npd would talk about her ex and i said something like " ya i dont really care to hear about him ok?"
And she got mad at me haha. I showed no emotion.

She later mentioned i was jealous.
Ugh i said jealous? Of a guy who has failed life and who lives in a chit apt down by the river and drives a crap car and has a crap job and makes no money while i have a nice home a good career and played in pro baseball prospect leagues?? Hahhaha. Fuch off.

Point is this is a narcissist red flag as they are more talking about themselves and are too stupid to see the disrespect.

Immediate eject here.
I wasted years not seeing this.

Good points... Any time you raise a valid and reasonable issue to a female, and she turns that chit around on you, becomes argumentative, blaming, not willing to accept responsibility..

There is a big chance she is to some degree a narcissist..These types of people are unable to reflect on there own chitty behaviour or even consider how you may feel about, being treated in a unacceptable way!

Defo walk away from these types, as they can leave you damaged with scars, for a very long time.

Some of us on here, are a living testament to that.

 

[Sneaky Pete]

There is a big chance she is to some degree a narcissist..These types of people are unable to reflect on there own chitty behaviour or even consider how you may feel about, being treated in a unacceptable way!

Defo walk away from these types, as they can leave you damaged with scars, for a very long time.

Some of us on here, are a living testament to that.

I think you are right - narcissistic tendencies appreantly run in her family, according to her own stories. The wound is already fairly deep, I hope it doesn’t leave a scar.

 

[Billtx49]

The wound is already fairly deep, I hope it doesn’t leave a scar.

Well, as you probably know, time heals more than we think it will…
Let it work for you, stay busy and spend it wisely.

 

[marmel75]

Its not like she is talking about them as the main subject. If we are talking about subject it’s like oh Michael and I did that, or if it’s what restaurant to go eat at, she’ll say something like it’s great, Steve and I ate there before. I’m starting to get tired of all that talk and thinking it might just be a red flag that she is not LTR material.

Dude, the flag she isnt LTR material is that she is a MILF who is 12 years older than you, not all this other stuff.

She wants to fvck so fvck her and keep it at that. And tell her the next time she talks about an ex you are going to make her talk about him with your c0ck all the way down her throat...

 

[Reykhel]

it might just be a red flag that she is not LTR material.

Consider the fact that she is twelve years older than you a major red flag that "she is not LTR material"

About the bringing up the exes, ask her "do you think that makes me more attracted to you when you mention your exes?"

But yeah, simply directly state it..."do me a favor..........."

 

[LJBFB]

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