"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Talking about exs

Sneaky Pete

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A plate I have been spinning for awhile now has an bad habit. She is a hot milf, 12 yrs older than me. Man she can fvck. My issue is it seems like every time we are together, she talks about her ex husband and even her former live-in lovers. To the point that I know their names, and what phase of life she was with them at and I find it both rude and disrespectful. I haven’t said anything to her about it to her and just let her ramble on. To keep it interesting I started keeping track of how many times during the course of the night she mentions a former lover. Sometimes it can be as many as 15 times over the course of a few hrs. If her pvzzy wasn’t great I would have dumped her long ago, besides I also like the way she sux cocx. Am I being pety? Should I let her go or just ignore the behavior?
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Billtx49

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A plate I have been spinning for awhile now has an bad habit. She is a hot milf, 12 yrs older than me. Man she can fvck. My issue is it seems like every time we are together, she talks about her ex husband and even her former live-in lovers. To the point that I know their names, and what phase of life she was with them at and I find it both rude and disrespectful. I haven’t said anything to her about and just let her ramble on. To keep it interesting I started keeping track of how many times during the course of the night she mentions a former lover. Sometimes it can be as many as 15 times over the course of a few hrs. If her pvzzy wasn’t great I would have dumped her long ago, besides I also like the way she sux cocx. Am I being pety? Should I let her go or just ignore the behavior?
She can’t let go of her past, so let her go. You deserve a womans 100% attention level.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Von

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Why care if she's a plate?

If you consider LTR.

Than i would say: " Honey, that's great if they are that great. Why not go back to them"
 

Billtx49

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I have considered telling her that her behavior is rude and give her the chance to correct it. Is that too beta?
Tell the only person you want to hear about is the current her, not the past her. Leave her ex’s out of it.
Her long term behavior after that should tell you if she’s moving in the same forward direction as you.
 
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Sneaky Pete

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Why care if she's a plate?

If you consider LTR.

Than i would say: " Honey, that's great if they are that great. Why not go back to them"
If it wasn’t for this bad behavior, Id consider her for LTR but I don’t want to hear about these other guys for an extended period of time.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Von

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If it wasn’t for this bad behavior, Id consider her for LTR but I don’t want to hear about these other guys for an extended period of time.
Hence my quote about telling to go back to them.

So you would LTR her if she stop. Make her stop.
I told you how
 

hockeyfreak79

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Yeah this is pretty much AWALT, the older they are the more baggage and more ex carousels to talk about. Pretty obvious she was alpha widowed a loooong time ago.

You could mirror her behavior, if she has any intelligence she'll get the hint and cut down the 15x in a couple hrs??

She can fük and suck cause she's done it a lot and SHE knowns that's truely all she has to really offer.

Hot milfs typically have a short shelf life as a plate, which it seems you have just figured out.
 

Sneaky Pete

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Just tell her man. Nothing beta about leading. No guy would find it normal for her going on incessantly about her exes.
Its not like she is talking about them as the main subject. If we are talking about subject it’s like oh Michael and I did that, or if it’s what restaurant to go eat at, she’ll say something like it’s great, Steve and I ate there before. I’m starting to get tired of all that talk and thinking it might just be a red flag that she is not LTR material.
 

Billtx49

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Its not like she is talking about them as the main subject. If we are talking about subject it’s like oh Michael and I did that, or if it’s what restaurant to go eat at, she’ll say something like it’s great, Steve and I ate there before. I’m starting to get tired of all that talk and thinking it might just be a red flag that she is not LTR material.
Do you respect her enough to not bring up your prior lays? Why doesn’t she.
 

Sneaky Pete

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Do you respect her enough to not bring up your prior lays? Why doesn’t she.
She was married for seven yrs. had a live-in for another 6 and they almost got married. The guys she speaks of had significance and werenot casual FWB or the like. I have very rarely mentioned anyone from my past but have thought about starting to see how she responds. If it bothers her and she brings it up then I would point out her behavior.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Billtx49

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She was married for seven yrs. had a live-in for another 6 and they almost got married. The guys she speaks of had significance and werenot casual FWB or the like. I have very rarely mentioned anyone from my past but have thought about starting to see how she responds. If it bothers her and she brings it up then I would point out her behavior.
Very good plan of action.
 
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A

AJ84

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She was married for seven yrs. had a live-in for another 6 and they almost got married. The guys she speaks of had significance and werenot casual FWB or the like. I have very rarely mentioned anyone from my past but have thought about starting to see how she responds. If it bothers her and she brings it up then I would point out her behavior.
She knows she's just a plate, she remembers being something more to two other guys and she's reminding herself and you of that in a semi passive aggressive way.
 

Macaframalama

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She was married for seven yrs. had a live-in for another 6 and they almost got married. The guys she speaks of had significance and werenot casual FWB or the like. I have very rarely mentioned anyone from my past but have thought about starting to see how she responds. If it bothers her and she brings it up then I would point out her behavior.
Just express yourself like a grown man and leave all the passive-aggressive behavior to the women. You don't have to be rude about it, rather blunt. XYZ.
X, this is what you do that I don't appreciate. Y, this is how it makes me feel. Z, this is how I would rather you behave. From there, she either, respects/complies and all is peaches and cream or she doesn't respect/doesn't comply and gets the boot.
 

soulforge

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She is a alpha widow.. A woman like that will never truely give herself to you.. You will be 3rd or 4th on her list..

However if you see her more than just a plate, then let her know about her disrespectful behaviour.

Be prepared for some backlash!
 

Sneaky Pete

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“She is a alpha widow.. A woman like that will never truely give herself to you.. You will be 3rd or 4th on her list..

However if you see her more than just a plate, then let her know about her disrespectful behaviour.

Be prepared for some backlash!”

I think you are right, I will always be 3rd or 4th. I think I’m in love w her, but I don’t think I can settle for #4.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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