"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Taking Responsibility For Your Own Happiness

Junior Sanz

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How many of us make other people responsible for our happiness?

Ex. "if only she would have gotten here on time, i wouldnt be sitting here right now"

" If it wasnt for her stupid comment, i wouldnt have gotten mad in the first place"

you get my drift! ;)

Dont you think thats putting A LOT if not a TON of responsibility on the other person when we make them responsible for OUR happiness?

Basically your saying: " i can't always be happy myself--but if your going to be with me, you'd better make me happy"

This leads to thoughts like......

"if only my GF or wife was this way" or "it makes me so mad when she acts that way"

Hence the " if only she were different, id be happier. its her that needs to change, NOT ME!"

HELLOOOOOOOOOO!!!???? KNOCK KNOCK?!? is anybody home???? Check it out!!! CANT YOU SEE?
THIS IS A VICIOUS CYCLE!!!! BUT ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE THIS!!!!!!!!!

***YOUR HAPPINESS DOES NOT LIE IN ANYONE ELSES HANDS BUT IN YOUR OWN!*****

You and you alone are RESPONSIBLE for making yourself happy!!!

when life or a relationship doesnt seem to be working, you need to MAKE a change or start to see things DIFFERENTLY!!

either:

1) make difficult choices?
2) have painful or difficult discussions
3) or COMPROMISE in some way

BUT SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE!

Sure, your GF or wife should add to your HAPPINESS and be a part of it, but NOT CONTROL it!!! ya feel me?

By doing this your giving your partner a chance to be HUMAN!!! just like YOU are! mistakes will happen, words will be said.... guess what? BIG DEAL!! STOP and look at the BIG PICTURE!

ONLY YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING YOURSELF HAPPY!

Your partner doesnt CONTROL your every feeling...

PUT the RESPONSIBILITY for your OWN HAPPINESS where it belongs-------WITH YOU!!!!


~JOON


concept extracted from a book authored by richard carlson phd. & kristine carlson
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

biker_gixxer

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Excellent post my friend. I agree with this 100%. I use to fall into this category myself way back in the day. Now I know better...
 

Spartan

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Good question
Good post Sanz. I think a lot of folks here need to be reminded that happiness is something they should achieve for themselves regardless of the women they are chasing, dating or in a relationship with. You are more attractive when you are happy with your lot in life while still maintaining an ambition edge to do better. I know I do on the occassion.
 

frivolousz21

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Great post.


this is very true.

I can say when i met the girl im with...


I was very happy with my life and dating multiple women.


now she just adds and crushes everything away and makes my life so much better.



it wouldnt of happened without me making myself happy first!
 

HeartlessBtch

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Once again you've nailed it!!! We'll miss you nxt week when your posting days are over my friend... :wave:
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

Read more...

TACH

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Wonderful post. I think this is just what I needed to hear. Thanks!
 

penkitten

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bump

tell everyone to stop playing the role of " my own victim"
 

Junior Sanz

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kitten,

a quote that goes along with your post....


"people tend to get in their own way most of the time"


if this aint the truth! lol
 
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