"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Taking Responsibility For Your Own Happiness

Junior Sanz

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How many of us make other people responsible for our happiness?

Ex. "if only she would have gotten here on time, i wouldnt be sitting here right now"

" If it wasnt for her stupid comment, i wouldnt have gotten mad in the first place"

you get my drift! ;)

Dont you think thats putting A LOT if not a TON of responsibility on the other person when we make them responsible for OUR happiness?

Basically your saying: " i can't always be happy myself--but if your going to be with me, you'd better make me happy"

This leads to thoughts like......

"if only my GF or wife was this way" or "it makes me so mad when she acts that way"

Hence the " if only she were different, id be happier. its her that needs to change, NOT ME!"

HELLOOOOOOOOOO!!!???? KNOCK KNOCK?!? is anybody home???? Check it out!!! CANT YOU SEE?
THIS IS A VICIOUS CYCLE!!!! BUT ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE THIS!!!!!!!!!

***YOUR HAPPINESS DOES NOT LIE IN ANYONE ELSES HANDS BUT IN YOUR OWN!*****

You and you alone are RESPONSIBLE for making yourself happy!!!

when life or a relationship doesnt seem to be working, you need to MAKE a change or start to see things DIFFERENTLY!!

either:

1) make difficult choices?
2) have painful or difficult discussions
3) or COMPROMISE in some way

BUT SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE!

Sure, your GF or wife should add to your HAPPINESS and be a part of it, but NOT CONTROL it!!! ya feel me?

By doing this your giving your partner a chance to be HUMAN!!! just like YOU are! mistakes will happen, words will be said.... guess what? BIG DEAL!! STOP and look at the BIG PICTURE!

ONLY YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING YOURSELF HAPPY!

Your partner doesnt CONTROL your every feeling...

PUT the RESPONSIBILITY for your OWN HAPPINESS where it belongs-------WITH YOU!!!!


~JOON


concept extracted from a book authored by richard carlson phd. & kristine carlson
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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biker_gixxer

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Excellent post my friend. I agree with this 100%. I use to fall into this category myself way back in the day. Now I know better...
 

Spartan

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Good question
Good post Sanz. I think a lot of folks here need to be reminded that happiness is something they should achieve for themselves regardless of the women they are chasing, dating or in a relationship with. You are more attractive when you are happy with your lot in life while still maintaining an ambition edge to do better. I know I do on the occassion.
 

frivolousz21

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Great post.


this is very true.

I can say when i met the girl im with...


I was very happy with my life and dating multiple women.


now she just adds and crushes everything away and makes my life so much better.



it wouldnt of happened without me making myself happy first!
 

HeartlessBtch

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Once again you've nailed it!!! We'll miss you nxt week when your posting days are over my friend... :wave:
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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TACH

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Wonderful post. I think this is just what I needed to hear. Thanks!
 

penkitten

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bump

tell everyone to stop playing the role of " my own victim"
 

Junior Sanz

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kitten,

a quote that goes along with your post....


"people tend to get in their own way most of the time"


if this aint the truth! lol
 
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