Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

Taking Responsibility For Your Own Happiness

Junior Sanz

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2005
Messages
83
Reaction score
0
Age
46
Location
NJ
How many of us make other people responsible for our happiness?

Ex. "if only she would have gotten here on time, i wouldnt be sitting here right now"

" If it wasnt for her stupid comment, i wouldnt have gotten mad in the first place"

you get my drift! ;)

Dont you think thats putting A LOT if not a TON of responsibility on the other person when we make them responsible for OUR happiness?

Basically your saying: " i can't always be happy myself--but if your going to be with me, you'd better make me happy"

This leads to thoughts like......

"if only my GF or wife was this way" or "it makes me so mad when she acts that way"

Hence the " if only she were different, id be happier. its her that needs to change, NOT ME!"

HELLOOOOOOOOOO!!!???? KNOCK KNOCK?!? is anybody home???? Check it out!!! CANT YOU SEE?
THIS IS A VICIOUS CYCLE!!!! BUT ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE THIS!!!!!!!!!

***YOUR HAPPINESS DOES NOT LIE IN ANYONE ELSES HANDS BUT IN YOUR OWN!*****

You and you alone are RESPONSIBLE for making yourself happy!!!

when life or a relationship doesnt seem to be working, you need to MAKE a change or start to see things DIFFERENTLY!!

either:

1) make difficult choices?
2) have painful or difficult discussions
3) or COMPROMISE in some way

BUT SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE!

Sure, your GF or wife should add to your HAPPINESS and be a part of it, but NOT CONTROL it!!! ya feel me?

By doing this your giving your partner a chance to be HUMAN!!! just like YOU are! mistakes will happen, words will be said.... guess what? BIG DEAL!! STOP and look at the BIG PICTURE!

ONLY YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING YOURSELF HAPPY!

Your partner doesnt CONTROL your every feeling...

PUT the RESPONSIBILITY for your OWN HAPPINESS where it belongs-------WITH YOU!!!!


~JOON


concept extracted from a book authored by richard carlson phd. & kristine carlson
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

biker_gixxer

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2004
Messages
688
Reaction score
0
Excellent post my friend. I agree with this 100%. I use to fall into this category myself way back in the day. Now I know better...
 

Spartan

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 14, 2005
Messages
20
Reaction score
0
Location
Good question
Good post Sanz. I think a lot of folks here need to be reminded that happiness is something they should achieve for themselves regardless of the women they are chasing, dating or in a relationship with. You are more attractive when you are happy with your lot in life while still maintaining an ambition edge to do better. I know I do on the occassion.
 

frivolousz21

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2004
Messages
3,151
Reaction score
16
Age
44
Location
belleville, il
Great post.


this is very true.

I can say when i met the girl im with...


I was very happy with my life and dating multiple women.


now she just adds and crushes everything away and makes my life so much better.



it wouldnt of happened without me making myself happy first!
 

HeartlessBtch

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 11, 2005
Messages
141
Reaction score
0
Location
Northern VA, US
Once again you've nailed it!!! We'll miss you nxt week when your posting days are over my friend... :wave:
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

TACH

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 3, 2001
Messages
105
Reaction score
0
Location
Small town ,Alabam
Wonderful post. I think this is just what I needed to hear. Thanks!
 

penkitten

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2001
Messages
8,256
Reaction score
236
Age
49
Location
at our house
bump

tell everyone to stop playing the role of " my own victim"
 

Junior Sanz

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2005
Messages
83
Reaction score
0
Age
46
Location
NJ
kitten,

a quote that goes along with your post....


"people tend to get in their own way most of the time"


if this aint the truth! lol
 
Top