"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Taking a week off lifting

Stanley

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How frequently do you guys take breaks from lifting (intentionally)?

I've always been athletic, but during the pandemic I got into working out on a regular basis. From July of 2022 to late December I lifted basically every single day in some way. Did your basic 5x5 routines focusing on compound lifts and got into weighted calisthenics. My gains were significant, but as I put up heavier weight I needed more recovery time and went PPL and upper lower splits.

It now been 3 months without breaking my routine and I take proper rest days, gains have been good, although my arms are slow growing. I've heard some guys say every few months you should take a week off. I did that once before and saw my numbers go up and my shoulder impingement went away as well. Wondering if there is any real validity to that statement or if you fellas take intentional time off for this reason.

Thanks
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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M

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Don’t.

I was away from the gym due to work and travel for 5 weeks. Hotel gyms are hello kitty compared to your regular membership. Lost almost 30% of my strength.
 

EyeBRollin

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Yes. You can take breaks even more frequently than that. Most naturals are overtraining as is.

I used to take 4-6 weeks off of lifting, twice a year. I did not ever noticeably lose strength.
 

Stanley

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Don’t.

I was away from the gym due to work and travel for 5 weeks. Hotel gyms are hello kitty compared to your regular membership. Lost almost 30% of my strength.
I would take like literally seven days off and even then that would drive me insane. If I don't do some substantial physical activity I lose my ****. I have a spring break of sorts coming up and will be traveling, that is why I am considering taking a weeks absence. Otherwise I'd switch to body weights and running during my travels,

Also my gym is my garage with some dumbells and a squat rack
 
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BackInTheGame78

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I would take like literally seven days off and even then that would drive me insane. If I don't do some substantial physical activity I lose my ****. I have a spring break of sorts coming up and will be traveling, that is why I am considering taking a weeks absence. Otherwise I'd switch to body weights and running during my travels,

Also my gym is my garage with some dumbells and a squat rack
You can take time off from lifting and do stuff like Pilates or go hiking to fill in
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Murk

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Do a de-load instead
 

Stanley

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Do a de-load instead
Well in this instance I would be away from any weights so I wouldn't have the option to.
You can take time off from lifting and do stuff like Pilates or go hiking to fill in
Yeah i'm an avid hiker and I used to run daily, but it kept me rail thin so I toned it back a bit. I'll probably just force myself to 'relax' or end up finding something to do pull ups on wherever I end up going lol
 

jaymbrs

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Listen to your body. I have shoulder and back issues that appear on and off. I’m currently dealing with shoulder discomfort so I’m taking 2 days off and when I’m back to it my workouts will be other muscle groups until my shoulder feels back to 100%.
However every 3 or so months I’ll take 5 days off to fully rest. It’s worked very well for me.
 

Murk

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Well in this instance I would be away from any weights so I wouldn't have the option to.
Your OP says do you take intentional days off lifting, no. Apart from rest days, injuries and deloads why would you?
 

Stanley

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Your OP says do you take intentional days off lifting, no. Apart from rest days, injuries and deloads why would you?
From what I understand deloading is done as a short planned period of recovery? but i've also seen guys say take a full break instead. My power lifting friends said they take a week off every few months or so.

Is there a reason you prefer a deload vs taking a few days/week off? In my case i'll be taking a week off from the gym for travels and that is why I inquired.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Murk

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From what I understand deloading is done as a short planned period of recovery? but i've also seen guys say take a full break instead. My power lifting friends said they take a week off every few months or so.

Is there a reason you prefer a deload vs taking a few days/week off? In my case i'll be taking a week off from the gym for travels and that is why I inquired.
I’m not an advanced lifter so a week off is not needed. My sleep and nutrition is good. It’s going to depend on the person, take a week off if you plateau or if you’re over training, but you shouldn’t be over training in the first place.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I’m not an advanced lifter so a week off is not needed. My sleep and nutrition is good. It’s going to depend on the person, take a week off if you plateau or if you’re over training, but you shouldn’t be over training in the first place.
Easier said than done...overtraining isn't always easy to spot and differs wildly based on individuals.

One of the more easy ways to spot it is not sleeping well or waking up in the middle of the night
 

Murk

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Easier said than done...overtraining isn't always easy to spot and differs wildly based on individuals.

One of the more easy ways to spot it is not sleeping well or waking up in the middle of the night
And low energy, easy to spot if you're self aware and know what to look for
 

Stanley

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See, this is why I ask.

I learned basic movements and form from a more experienced lifter years ago, but I lift by myself at home. I'm still in my early years of training with consistency and I have a hard time grasping when I overtrain. As mentioned, my strength gains have been consistent and my form has not suffered either as I go up in weight. I do however keep it a little lighter and go more reps and volume since I lift by myself and really focus on form.

I didn't even consider sleep being affected, i've not been a great sleeper ever, but the past couple weeks I do not feel rested. I also have been randomly waking up at like 4am. Diet is great though and energy levels are fairly typical.
 

BackInTheGame78

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And low energy, easy to spot if you're self aware and know what to look for
Yes...that and having an overwhelming feeling where you simply just don't feel like working out falls into the same vein.

Perhaps one that isn't as easy to spot but is highly accurate is taking your pulse rate when you wake up. If it is relatively higher than your base pulse rate it is a sign of overtraining.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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