"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Synonyms for masturbation

flyinshark

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I remember reading the "masturbation thread" some time ago and being really amused by the funny expressions some people came up with to designate masturbating. Here are some i extracted from that thread:

'peelin' the banana'
rub the standing soldier
"choak charlie 'till he throws up"
"choked the chicken"
the 'special touch'
'buffing the pylon'
"playing tug of war with Cyclops"
"Sent the rocket to Mars" (for ejaculation)

Feel free to add to the list...
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Unregistered

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waxing the carrot
spanking the monkey
performing autoerotic aerobics
rapid one armed horizontal pullups
wanking the beef
whacking off
beating the meat
shaking hands with the Man
stroking the T-Bone
 

quest

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having a flog.

close the thread
 

flyinshark

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I know masturbation has been discussed a lot, but this isn't about it per say. It's just about synonyms...as simple as that!

I find it fun reading what people come up with, and i am probably not the only one. It adds a bit of humor to this place, so i'd like this thread to stay alive.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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DogFashionDisco

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Oiling the motor
Jacking off
Playing mind games with Mr. Johnson
Energizing the battery
Shooting the catapult (ejaculation)
Wiring the bomb
Lighting the candle
Fencing the musketeer
Drilling for oil
Gaggin' the clam
Visiting niagra falls
Uncloggin' the drain
Workin' out the Y
Brushin' your afro
Hitchhikin' south
 

Centaurion

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walking the dog
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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LowPlainsDrifter

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"Close the thread?" Hmmm... haven't heard that one.

How about this one for tech geeks:

"Palm Piloting"
 

h2o

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welcome to my world
this may take the fun out of it, but...check this out, it's the

The Random Masturbation Synonym Generator:

http://www.worldwidewank.com/generator.html

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: ...some people just have way too much free time

here's a really long list too: http://www.worldwidewank.com/funniest.html

(although i think i too am one with way too much free time for searching google and finding this wonderful synonym generator :D)

btw, my favorite is "Molesting my pogo stick" :woo:
 

flyinshark

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Originally posted by h2o
this may take the fun out of it, but...check this out, it's the

The Random Masturbation Synonym Generator:

http://www.worldwidewank.com/generator.html

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: ...some people just have way too much free time

here's a really long list too: http://www.worldwidewank.com/funniest.html

(although i think i too am one with way too much free time for searching google and finding this wonderful synonym generator :D)

btw, my favorite is "Molesting my pogo stick" :woo:
from the random generator:
Cuddlin' the purple helmet
Polishing your twinkie
Slap-Boxing the burrito
Rubbing the skin bus
preparing your shlong

Bwahahahaha:crackup:

Ok, sorry.
I guess this takes out some of the answers some people might have come up with. I hope this thread doesn't die because of those links, but then again dumb threads usually dont have a very long life span.
 
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