Successful cold approaches but no dates

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Several girls have already given me their numbers after cold approaching them. Every one of them (the ones who gave me the number) looked very "swept of her feet" - very engaged in conversation with me, maintaining strong eye contact, smiling all the time and little bit shy, not knowing what to say next, a bit nervous. With all of them I had a great connection since the moment I approached them, they seemed to like me a lot and they were more than happy to give me their number. I always ask them if they would like to hang out before I get the number and they are always super up for it, even confirm it after the number, like we just agree to go on a date.
But then when we text they always make up some excuses. Some stop texting after a while, some reply but are always busy, they suggest another day but then dont reply, the apologize, then the same thing repeats, some even agree for a date and ghost an hour before meeting.
I dont understand this...I absolutely dont. I feel like I charm these girls, they are really my type and I feel like they really like me too. During that short conversation we have they get this vibe that Im a super cool guy and I feel like they are really attracted to me, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING goes wrong with this 1on1 interaction in person. But then when I text them (I usually text "Hey, very nice meeting you :) " and subsequently making plans for the date immediately) , they always act like I described above.
 
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espanish

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hmmm...I was going to read the replies but then noticed there are none. indeed, it is strange to me. if they are in fact swept off their feet, at least some should be coming out for a first date. I don't care how busy a girl is, if you made her wet, she will make time for you. I have a feeling you are not being memorable. like you are just another guy that got her number.
may I ask how long the conversation takes and what you talk about? where are you approaching? who are you approaching? drunk girls, or girls who can think straight? what time of the day?
 

stormrider

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Several girls have already given me their numbers after cold approaching them. Every one of them (the ones who gave me the number) looked very "swept of her feet" - very engaged in conversation with me, maintaining strong eye contact, smiling all the time and little bit shy, not knowing what to say next, a bit nervous. With all of them I had a great connection since the moment I approached them, they seemed to like me a lot and they were more than happy to give me their number. I always ask them if they would like to hang out before I get the number and they are always super up for it, even confirm it after the number, like we just agree to go on a date.
But then when we text they always make up some excuses. Some stop texting after a while, some reply but are always busy, they suggest another day but then dont reply, the apologize, then the same thing repeats, some even agree for a date and ghost an hour before meeting.
I dont understand this...I absolutely dont. I feel like I charm these girls, they are really my type and I feel like they really like me too. During that short conversation we have they get this vibe that Im a super cool guy and I feel like they are really attracted to me, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING goes wrong with this 1on1 interaction in person. But then when I text them (I usually text "Hey, very nice meeting you :) " and subsequently making plans for the date immediately) , they always act like I described above.
Who told you this was the most optimal way to meet women? If it was, don't you think everyone would be doing it and there would be no more questions and sticking points? Even the so called "best" cold approachers claim they only have a 10% success rate for dates.

Don't you think these women already have social lives and hundreds of dudes already lined up to get into that vag who exist in their social media, OLD accounts, social circles, work, school, hobbies, etc? Guys with way better proximity and social proof than you? Guys with better rapport that she interacts with on a daily basis? Are these guys not fvckable too? Or do you believe the myth that only PUA's are alpha and everyone else is a chump? Lol.

You think these women popped fresh out of the oven the day other just for you to scoop up? All you did was entertain them for 5 minutes before they went back to their life of penis abundance. Their regularly scheduled program of infinite validation.

Women are very good at giving you the "brand new" look. But behind that brand new exterior is an ecosystem of hundreds of dudes.

I'm not saying cold approach doesn't work. I'm just baffled at guys expecting women to throw away their entire ecosystem just to make time for a random guy they had a 5 minute interaction with. Sure, it can happen. But women flaking off the cold approach shouldn't be surprising.

Guy's shouldn't be like "Oh sh1t, I don't get it!!!!! I did everything right. How?!?!?!?!"

Because she already has a life and plenty of options before she met you. That's how. And women rarely say no to free entertainment and validation, hence the "good" 5 minute interactions you keep having.

Attractive women don't exist in a vacuum. They aren't frozen in suspended animation waiting for you to show up. Most have a long history of juggling multiple guys. That's why the only sure sign is when a woman actively pursues you.

Before someone breaks down his game and tells him what's wrong with it, I would suggest looking at the social dynamics of his strategy and consider that the cold approach system itself might be flawed and has nothing to do with him.
 
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oldmanofthesea

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My belief is that there are a couple things that cause this:
1. It can really cause a lot of emotions in a girl when you come out of the mist and approach her as a stranger. Danger, excitement, respect, admiration... And your confidence in doing it is a huge turn on to her. It is also flattering to her. In the moment, she might be interested in you and want to go on the date. But once you're gone, the emotions often fade quickly and she starts thinking about the fact that you're a stranger, and the the magic is just gone. Not enough spark left for her to want to go out.
2. Most girls are anticonfrontational. It's easier for them to give you their number in the moment and subsequently ghost or fade you, than it is to straight up tell you no.

There could also be some nuances in your game that could be contributing a bit, but that's hard to diagnose from what little I know of you.

I do a fair amount of cold approach so I am speaking from experience. It does require a certain amount of self development to prevent the flakes from impacting your self esteem when you are in a rut (and I myself am not always immune to it). But OLD is even worse in that regard.
 
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My belief is that there are a couple things that cause this:
1. It can really cause a lot of emotions in a girl when you come out of the mist and approach her as a stranger. Danger, excitement, respect, admiration... And your confidence in doing it is a huge turn on to her. It is also flattering to her. In the moment, she might be interested in you and want to go on the date. But once you're gone, the emotions often fade quickly and she starts thinking about the fact that you're a stranger, and the the magic is just gone. Not enough spark left for her to want to go out.
2. Most girls are anticonfrontational. It's easier for them to give you their number in the moment and subsequently ghost or fade you, than it is to straight up tell you no.

There could also be some nuances in your game that could be contributing a bit, but that's hard to diagnose from what little I know of you.

I do a fair amount of cold approach so I am speaking from experience. It does require a certain amount of self development to prevent the flakes from impacting your self esteem when you are in a rut (and I myself am not always immune to it). But OLD is even worse in that regard.
First of all, what is OLD?
And second, I agree with you on most things that you have said. But I do think that women are social beings and they enjoy meeting new people, especially if they seem to like them. Im not talking about the scenario when women is like "meh" and she gives you her number so she doesnt have to reject you. But Im speaking about the cases when she is super flattered, blushed in the face, obviously interested and she gives you the number but then during texting she fades away.

I dont agee with what stormrider said because women are also attracted to strangers they randomly see ont he street. They also say to themselves, omg what a hot guy, damn that guy is cute etc...so I see absolutely no reason why not to do cold approach with such women who (even though at first youre strangers.......like with everyone you meet for the first time) is obviously attracted to you.
Of course, if the approach is - I thought youre cute, can I get your number? then it may be a bit impersonal and she may not feel connection.
But if it flows naturally like for example "Hey excuse me , do you know direction to .... alright, thanks, because I was just looking for ....what about you, youre from here?....yeah? Im from....I really like your.....whats your name?..my name is....continue conversation.....exchange numbers........I personally think this is an example of a completely normal and natural human interaction regardless of if youre hitting on her or not...the thing that makes such a natural social interaction something more is a chemistry that is between those people.

That being said, if the approach is super relaxed and flows completely naturally, the girl is relaxed and likes you and is super happy to hang out with you in the future...I dont understand why a lot of times they change during texting.
I understand that they may also be other guy/s in her life but lets be honest....not all women are *****s who have a diferent guy to bang for every weekend...a lot fo women know a lot of guys but they are close just with some of them and even then they dont go out with just anybody.
But that being said, I know for a fact (from asking many many girlfriends) that cold approaches are not something that happens on a regular bases to girls, at least not the ones with proper social calibration and the exchange of contact information, more just like some random comment, because most men dont know how to do it or lack confidence. THAT is exactly the reason why a lot of girls can be flattered by the fact that you actually know how to do it properly and that fact alone makes you stand out from all the other guys....thats why it doesnt go in my head why then they get so reluctant to meet when texting.


But whatever the reason may be, I wonder what to do to fix it and actually materialize the phone numbers into nice dates.
 
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oldmanofthesea

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OLD is online dating.

The point I think you might be missing is that due to the nature of cold approach, you're going to have a higher frequency of fizzles than you may imagine. It doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It's just part of cold approach. In other situations like social circle, women have more of a chance to vet you from the safety of a group setting, over however long she needs to get a sense of whether you are her "type". With cold approach, she only has a quick F2F interaction followed by texting to decide whether you are her type or if she wants to go on a date and take a risk to really see if you are. All this translates to a high failure rate, and it's often nothing you are doing wrong, you must simply accept it as a factor of this style of approach.

No need to delve into the merits or viability of cold approach to me. I meet all the women I date that way. Of all the girls I've dated in the last two years, only one of them was through social circle. All the rest were cold approach.

My experience has taught me much about it. Some scenarios I have found:
1. Girl is so blown away by your confidence and the flattery that she is scrambled and can't figure out if you are her type but then later over text where she's not experiencing the flood of emotions ,she realizes you aren't.
2. She has a boyfriend of some sort, but is so blown away by your approach that she figures she will give you a try to see if you are mr perfect and the right guy to "trade-up" with. It's hard to live up to those expectations so she is out once she identifies the first chunk in your armor.
3. Something in your text game isn't congruent with your cold approach confidence. A major turn-off for women is incongruence of any kind. IE if you act infallibly confident in your initial approach but then slightly less confident in your subsequent interactions. She sees you are just acting and it's over in a flash for her.
4. She's only looking for a one night stand and you are giving off dating vibes, or she's only looking for relationships and you're giving off player vibes.
5. Your game isn't tight. Nothing cold-approach specific here but it does go back to congruence. To match your cold approach confidence, your game must be tight AF. And by tight I mean it can't feel too smooth or it will come off as rehearsed and not "just for her." You can't supplicate. You have to challenge her. You have to respond properly to any sh*t tests. You can't be thirsty. You can't beat around the bush. You have to approach it from a mindset of "Yeah I saw you and thought you were cute enough to find out more about you..... Now are you going to pass my scrutiny and prove yourself as an interesting person of substance who I align with?" Further complicating this is your ability to read or even GUESS whether she is looking for a hookup or a date because how you vet her depends on what she is looking for. Interpret her signals incorrectly and you're out. Simple as that.

I'd need to see your text exchanges to provide more input. I get their number as a follow-up to them agreeing to go on a date with me, so the purpose of texting after that is to set the logistics. I do not confirm their interest over text. Something in your original post leads me to think you're confirming their interest in a date... Are you? My first text is usually, "Hey it's X, good meeting you the other day. Would like to make-good on my promise of a drink. I'm free Thursday at 7 or Sunday at 8. Let me know what works." Subsequent conversation should be about the date logistics ONLY. If she diverts to small-talk, she's either an attention wh*re or she needs a little more time to get comfortable with you before agreeing to a date. In case of the latter, I will make a tiny amount of flirty small talk, but it has to be flirty and only maybe 8-10 messages before I will say I have to run but let me know about the days/times I proposed. If she continues making small talk, I ghost until she agrees to meet. If she suggests an alternative day or place, I will counter that with a new day or place of my own and keep doing that until she agrees to one of MY proposals. If she is non-committal like "I'm not sure" or "I might be able to" I say, "Cool, let me know when you know for sure" and I will not engage in any small talk or additional discussion if it isnt around the subject of setting a difinitive date. If she agrees to a definitive date, I will engage in small talk over text as much as she wants (to a point) between now and the date. If her texts were slow and short while setting up the date, I won't make an effort to initiate small talk.

There is little you can do over text in terms of driving things and increasing attraction IF she is not giving you signs that she wants to do that with you. You get the number to set the date. You them contact her for that purpose. If she is short over text, don't think you can "charm" her via text to get her back on the hook. Just doing so puts you in the wrong frame. She should want to see you. You are not here to perform for her and convince her. So if she doesn't respond positively to your text to set the date and she is not investing in the text conversation, NEXT! Clearly this cannot be your fault given the facts I just laid out so just see it for what it is and accept it.

StormRider has good points about social circle vs cold approach. Social circle is a more natural approach that will lead to fewer rejections and a higher success rate. That's a fact, not an opinion. But not everyone has the kind of social circle that is filled with new hot women drifting through it on the daily. One must cultivate it carefully and deliberately over time. I think it's a great goal to shoot for but I haven't found the jackpot there yet so I cold approach while I keep searching.

Some examples so you know it is not just you:

I approached a girl waiting on the subway reading a book. Very interested in talking to me and nervous in all the right ways. We talked for 5 mins waiting for the train, then rode the train 20 mins together. Learned a lot about her, vibe was flirty, she was super into talking to me. We learned we both have dogs and try to involve our dogs in everything we do. At her stop, I said we should keep in touch and continue this conversation and then asked if she has FB (note I did not ask her out on a date like I normally would at this point because we were on a crowded train and I didn't want her to feel on the spot), she quickly agreed and gave me her FB. 10 mins later she accepted. 3 hours later she DMd me saying, "Hey I just wanted to thank you for approaching me. I loved our conversation, it was wonderful meeting you and I've been smiling all morning because of it. You really made my day." I responded back a couple hours later saying it was great to meet her too and asked if shed like to get together in a few days. She read my message and never replied.

Cold approached a girl at the store and she was flattered. We talked 10 mins with a lot of enchanted eye contact.... The kind where there is an immediate animalistic attraction. She agreed to a date, she showed up for the date, and I was making out with her within an hour. Went to a second venue, made out again later. As far as I could tell, everything went perfectly. She got all dressed up for me and even made a comment during the date about it. I texted her 3 days after the date to ask her a question about something we discussed on the date. She didn't reply until the next day. I responded to that and she never responded to me. Never heard from her again.

Now,. I have plenty of other examples of excellent outcomes with women half my age, but no need to go into those. The point with my examples above is even if things seem perfect, and even if you make the right moves, much is out of your control if SHE isn't perfectly aligned. In a social circle setting, a girl has time to vet you from a distance and if she is available and aligned with you and wants you, she will give you IOIs and you can move on that. In cold approach, you have to accept a higher failure rate and just keep going.

You MUST remove the thought that you are always in control. You aren't. You can control some things but not everything.
 

corrector

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Try dating right after the interaction or get an agreement to meet the same day. Do not let the sun set before you take action. Or just forget the phone number and set everything up F2F and tell her to call you if she is cancelling out. (You can give your number rather than take hers). This is last decade advice ( before social media) but instadates were commonly advised.

In fact, here is an article here that talks about it: https://puamore.com/wiki/instant-date/

If you read it, even if this stuff sounds pre-social media, it also claims the best way to beat flakiness is to go on a mini-date 5-10 minutes in the interaction. If she's really stoked by you as you are saying, and she's not a hired gun (i.e. which to this point we are assuming to be the case), then she'll go along, in that moment to go to a barista or bar with you, and you have at least one date with her before she makes any decision about you.

Maybe this type of old advice is even more suitable to "stormrider's" assessment of today's social dynamics. Advice like false time constraints might be outmoded. You need to increase face time (with someone as interested as the OP claims, not talking about "meh" encounters) rather than shelve it for another day.
 
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biggoal

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Do you even know if the number is real she gave you? Try putting it in spy dailer and see if her name shows up. They plug it into facebook and see if she's real. She might not even be giving you her number.
 

ubercat

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@oldmanofthesea Mr Wood has a text thread going. I'm sure he would welcome a guy of your experience kicking in


and I admit I've never been very good at text myself much better IR and since you're of a similar age to me I d be doubly interested
 

MrWood

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text kinda forces you to amplify your game...
its not easy to show interest, not appear hungry and not be boring... not text too much and delay answers if not in a direct dialog. However, if a woman is engaging and uses words like "lovely", "beautiful", "colorful" etc, you should echo and amplify... shes into you, for the moment....

shes a cat, she acts like a cat. Know when to pet her and when to let her be
 
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GrowingPains

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I don't text women "Hey, nice to meet you" anymore. I think that removes some of the mystery or is too sudden for some reason. They meet you and you say "I'l text you" then you text them 5 minutes later like you don't have anything better to do. My only hypothesis is that they want to wonder about you. There's no element of surprise if you're instantly messaging them. Let her miss you. Let her wonder why you haven't texted.

I just wait until I'm ready to ask them out and my first text is always "Hey, it's GrowingPains (I just say my name to remind them if I don't have anything to say that hints at our conversation). Lemme know when you're free the weekend, let's get a drink" or something like that.

Usually, I try to set up the date the first time I meet her. If I did this, I just text "Hey, when are you free to [insert whatever we said we'd do] this weekend"

If it's on Tinder I do the same thing. I don't ask for the number. 3-5 messages and I say "Lemme know when you're free to do xyz". She either responds or she doesn't.

It's really not complicated. I am curious how many women you're talking about though. Like have you talked to 3 women, 10 women, 50 women and this is the case? If it is less than 10 I would just say it's a numbers game, keep at it. If it's over 10 it's probably it's something you're doing. I would expect the average guy to have a 5-10% success rate with everything. 5-10% conversion on dates from cold approaching. 5-10% success with sex from dates. The chances are slim. Get your numbers up so 5-10% is a bigger number.
 

MrWood

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typically I have 3-8 or so Im talking to, lining up etc. Additional 3-6 plates or ones that I will be meeting soon, etc.
My rate might be a little better.. 10-20% or so?

Yes, Its a numbers game.
 

Trump

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Men can always cold approach, and it can work. But the issue with cold approaching is: what do you have did common with the woman? The only thing is her looks and that you want to have sex with her. How sexy is that?

To meet and date women, it’s better to do something that you enjoy, and the women enjoys. That way the connection is natural and not forced and you both have a common theme, a goal. You both like traveling, you are both in medical school, you are both lawyers, she is a client of your company, you both like dancing (what guy in his right mind likes ‘dancing’?)

In a way, I look at women as my buddy I can have sex with, but being a lot more careful with my words as we all know women are very emotional. Do I disclose my emotions to my buddy? No. Do I phone my buddy everyday? No. Do I tell my buddy “I can’t live without you?” No. If I want to find new buddy, do I just up to a guy in the street that looks decent and say “hey, I got an extra ticket to the hockey game tonight, do you want to go?” Never.

Even if you cold approached a hot girl and she had sex with you in 3 hours, what are going to do the next day? She likes sky diving and you like video games, how are you doing to get along afterwards?

But as I say this, I know construction workers who have cold approached hot Asian girls on trains and gotten married 6 months later. One in a thousand though.
 

nicksaiz65

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I don't text women "Hey, nice to meet you" anymore. I think that removes some of the mystery or is too sudden for some reason. They meet you and you say "I'l text you" then you text them 5 minutes later like you don't have anything better to do. My only hypothesis is that they want to wonder about you. There's no element of surprise if you're instantly messaging them. Let her miss you. Let her wonder why you haven't texted.

I just wait until I'm ready to ask them out and my first text is always "Hey, it's GrowingPains (I just say my name to remind them if I don't have anything to say that hints at our conversation). Lemme know when you're free the weekend, let's get a drink" or something like that.

Usually, I try to set up the date the first time I meet her. If I did this, I just text "Hey, when are you free to [insert whatever we said we'd do] this weekend"

If it's on Tinder I do the same thing. I don't ask for the number. 3-5 messages and I say "Lemme know when you're free to do xyz". She either responds or she doesn't.

It's really not complicated. I am curious how many women you're talking about though. Like have you talked to 3 women, 10 women, 50 women and this is the case? If it is less than 10 I would just say it's a numbers game, keep at it. If it's over 10 it's probably it's something you're doing. I would expect the average guy to have a 5-10% success rate with everything. 5-10% conversion on dates from cold approaching. 5-10% success with sex from dates. The chances are slim. Get your numbers up so 5-10% is a bigger number.
Yeah thats the optimal text game imo.

5-10% success rate is about right on Cold Approaches as well.

Although if a woman actually blocks out time to go on a date with you, there's a good chance that she's open to sex with you. I'd say it's higher than 5-10% in that case also.
 

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Let me chime in-

1. These girls were not SUPER into you or they would have not made excuses to hang out. They gave you their number because they you put them on the spot and they didnt want to tell you no. Or it could be #2 or #3 below.

2. I would never ask a stranger to"hang out", go on a date, etc. While it is perfectly fine to get the digits, it is also way too EAGER to want to hang out with a stranger. Think about this- what has she done to EARN your time? Nothing. So you are showing you have little to no options when you are so eager to want to hang out with someone you just met?

3. I will assume that you are probably texting these chicks literally the same day as getting their number. Bad move. While I dont agree with the 3 day rule in terms of communication I do think you should show some form of having a life outside dating. Wait till the next day and then shoot her a text. Get a small amount of convo going and then disappear for another day. Then hit her up to hang out. At the very least do a little screening first.

Men are logical thinkers and women are emotional thinkers. You have to be able to jerk their emotions in order to make yourself stand out from the other guys who are "nice guys" and over eager with them.

By popping in and then popping out for a day it creates some mystery. A little chit chat and screening her creates tension on her part on whether YOU are interested or not. Which is a good thing.

A person with options has to be careful with how he spends his time. Men with no options will readily give it to anyone who will take it.

Women dont want someone who anyone can have. There is no value in that. They want what other women want.

Think about that.
 
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GrowingPains

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2. I would never ask a stranger to"hang out", go on a date, etc. While it is perfectly fine to get the digits, it is also way too EAGER to want to hang out with a stranger. Think about this- what has she done to EARN your time? Nothing. So you are showing you have little to no options when you are so eager to want to hang out with someone you just met?
Well how else are you going to end up on a date? What's the alternative?

It's not likely that she's going to be trying to prove yourself to you after briefly meeting. She's not likely going to text you first and be like 'hey look at me don't forget about me!' before you ask her out.

Aren't we starting to get a little too complex here? You approached fhe stranger, so you are interested in her. So why not just get what you want out of the interaction. That's the point of approaching anyways.
 

corrector

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Think about this- what has she done to EARN your time? Nothing. So you are showing you have little to no options when you are so eager to want to hang out with someone you just met?
Chadsplaining much?
 

nicksaiz65

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Let me chime in-

1. These girls were not SUPER into you or they would have not made excuses to hang out. They gave you their number because they you put them on the spot and they didnt want to tell you no. Or it could be #2 or #3 below.

2. I would never ask a stranger to"hang out", go on a date, etc. While it is perfectly fine to get the digits, it is also way too EAGER to want to hang out with a stranger. Think about this- what has she done to EARN your time? Nothing. So you are showing you have little to no options when you are so eager to want to hang out with someone you just met?

3. I will assume that you are probably texting these chicks literally the same day as getting their number. Bad move. While I dont agree with the 3 day rule in terms of communication I do think you should show some form of having a life outside dating. Wait till the next day and then shoot her a text. Get a small amount of convo going and then disappear for another day. Then hit her up to hang out. At the very least do a little screening first.

Men are logical thinkers and women are emotional thinkers. You have to be able to jerk their emotions in order to make yourself stand out from the other guys who are "nice guys" and over eager with them.

By popping in and then popping out for a day it creates some mystery. A little chit chat and screening her creates tension on her part on whether YOU are interested or not. Which is a good thing.

A person with options has to be careful with how he spends his time. Men with no options will readily give it to anyone who will take it.

Women dont want someone who anyone can have. There is no value in that. They want what other women want.

Think about that.
I remember hearing that if you ask them out in the first interaction, you're letting them off the "hook" too easy, so to speak. The mystery is now dead.

However, I don't agree with waiting a whole week. That's so long that you'll be bumped down the queue even if she did have Attraction for you.
 

nicksaiz65

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Well how else are you going to end up on a date? What's the alternative?

It's not likely that she's going to be trying to prove yourself to you after briefly meeting. She's not likely going to text you first and be like 'hey look at me don't forget about me!' before you ask her out.

Aren't we starting to get a little too complex here? You approached fhe stranger, so you are interested in her. So why not just get what you want out of the interaction. That's the point of approaching anyways.
Yeah, I agree with you here. Usually it's better to set plans in the initial interaction. If she won't agree to go out with you in person, she'll never ever do it over text.
 
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Let me chime in-

1. These girls were not SUPER into you or they would have not made excuses to hang out. They gave you their number because they you put them on the spot and they didnt want to tell you no. Or it could be #2 or #3 below.

2. I would never ask a stranger to"hang out", go on a date, etc. While it is perfectly fine to get the digits, it is also way too EAGER to want to hang out with a stranger. Think about this- what has she done to EARN your time? Nothing. So you are showing you have little to no options when you are so eager to want to hang out with someone you just met?

3. I will assume that you are probably texting these chicks literally the same day as getting their number. Bad move. While I dont agree with the 3 day rule in terms of communication I do think you should show some form of having a life outside dating. Wait till the next day and then shoot her a text. Get a small amount of convo going and then disappear for another day. Then hit her up to hang out. At the very least do a little screening first.

Men are logical thinkers and women are emotional thinkers. You have to be able to jerk their emotions in order to make yourself stand out from the other guys who are "nice guys" and over eager with them.

By popping in and then popping out for a day it creates some mystery. A little chit chat and screening her creates tension on her part on whether YOU are interested or not. Which is a good thing.

A person with options has to be careful with how he spends his time. Men with no options will readily give it to anyone who will take it.

Women dont want someone who anyone can have. There is no value in that. They want what other women want.

Think about that.
I got your point but all this is just a matter of personal beliefs and personalities.
I am very social and keep myself at high value, I am picky with who I spend my time with BUT when I see a woman that is my type and I really like her, I approach her and talk with her to get to know her. I dont say "wooow youre so beautiful , wanna go out on a date? please, cmon, its gonna be awesome, I promise!" ... I just talk with her based on the situation where we encounter ourselves and have normal conversation like 2 human beings. I really dont know why so many men are afraid of being needy and they try so hard not to be needy that they end up being needy and tryhard. Just a normal conversation. Meeting new people is OK and NORMAL. How people meet new people? Everyone talks about social circle, but if someone meets new people only by friend introducing his/her friends , then thats pretty low level of social skills. I can make social connection with whoever I want and whenever I want. I would be needy if I would go up to 50 girls a day and ask for their phone number. But approaching the one you really like, there is nothing wrong with that. Especially, if you have a super normal conversation.
Also, I dont like playing games like waiting to text etc...I like to just behave normally, not pretending anything. Nobody, not even Bill Gates is so busy that he responds after 1 day. If someone waits like couple of days to text, that is obvious tryhard to look busy and "having a life" but it is not natural. Women can see through that and then they play the same stupid games. I dont have time for that, so I just act normal and if she doesnt , Im not interested.
 
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