"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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success story+question

Mr.Speed

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hi guys,

here is the introduction: I am meeting this girl, with who I was in elementary school, back when I was 7 years old ;) she hated me in the past, and I had no chance as a little boy. I got in touch with her and I have been out with her for 3 times. as a matter of fact, she thinks now that I am pretty sexy and attractive (she is 23 now).

anyway, the last time I was out with her we went to a nice cafe and afterwards for a walk (she wanted to walk), I knew exactly what she wanted ;)

so there we were, walking around and talking,then I decided to take the initiative and we stoped.. I looked into her eyes,smiled and went for a nice and long kiss.

she was completly shocked and got pretty nervous :up:
I asked her what was wrong (I was pretty calm and cool), she just replied, that she had not forseen that this would happen. since then, we were holding hands,cuddled and kissed.

now to my question: she had birthday on october the 4th, I dated her the last time on october the 5th, I had no present, since I didn`t knew if it would be wussyish to give her gifts in the early run.

she invited me on thursday to visit her at home and "watch a movie" with her, of course we all know, that she doesn`t really want to watch a movie ;)

I had in mind, to show up at her place with a single red rose (kind of romantic stuff) and maybe a small present for her.

do you think it is a good idea to give her a small present or even a rose? :flowers: should I show up blank?

thanks for your help :)
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Sosa

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If she's the type of female that's even hinted at some sort of gift-I wouldn't get her anything-If YOU FEEL you wanna get her something small-1 flower etc.-that's up to you-just nothing that would cost maybe more than $5-10 depending on where you live
 

Michael Chief

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i think a small "thoughtful" gift would be more than enough for a present. I dont think you'll be needing that rose.

but, in the end, it all comes down to your personal style.

ask yourself, "is this something an attractive and confident Mr.Speed would do?"
 

Mr.Speed

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one time we where phoning, and somehow we got to the topic: gifts. she told me that she ist not a materialist and therefore does not need stuff, but of course she feels happy if you decide to give her present.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Mr.Speed

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I could give her a photo, but chances are high that she has got that photo also, because our teacher used to give copies of the photos to all classmates.

maybe I could combine the single red rose,with that photo. it just gets embarassing,when she tells me, that she already has that photo :(
 

Michael Chief

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Well, if you want to give her that photo, i suggest you get creative with it. turn it into an artsy thing, perhaps? It may or may not be a good idea, but hell im just throwing out ideas. For my birthday, my gf made me a book of "memories" and put various things from various dates weve had like tickets and things. She used some fancy paper and stuff like that, and put a picture of her that i liked in the front. You REALLY shouldn't get that complicated for a gift so early on, but maybe that visualization can help open a door in your mind for a better idea more appropriate for your situation. good luck with whatever you decide to do.
 

Mr.Speed

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thanks for your help,grim999.

I think I have to "throw some dice" about a creative idea, but maybe the rose isn't that bad anyway. I mean, if I don't come up with a fancy idea, I will give her a atleast a flower.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Mr.Speed

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oh, one more question to you guys:

in my first post (in this thread), you can read my small succes story. I was wondering all the time: everytime we phone or text/email each other, it is pretty formal, like just hi, planning the dates, take care and bye.

is this a good sign? could it be,that she is just shy? since I made her pretty nervous and excited the last time, by the way, our texting/phoning,was always pretty formal and smalltalk-like. no emotional stuff so far.

or is it just evolivng at this time?
 

zerocelcius

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Don't do flowers! Use those later when she least expects it and deserves them. Get her something perishable. Make it match the infancy of your relationship but reflects on when she hated you in elementary school. It will show you actually thought about it and it isn't too serious.

You shocked her with the kiss and now you have to keep shocking her!!

Keep everything simple and let her expand on it. (IE. texts, phone).

When the time comes to be a bleeding heart do it after you two have had a few drinks. That way if you go to far you can blame it on the alcohol.

NO FLOWERS!

:flowers: :nono:
 

Mr.Speed

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@ zerocelcius: the problem is, there was never something taht connected us in elemantary school, therefore I really do not have a clue what perishable to give to her, instead of a rose (which is by the way perishable too).

one more thing, she has a 2 year old boy. yup, thats right she got pregnant 2 years ago, therefore I was wondering to bring him a small teddy-bear, since it is a good trick, to get to her heart by her son, plus it would look really stupid to give something to her, but not to her son.
 

zerocelcius

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Good call with the boy!

Rose is to.. Love! I wouldn't get a flower... but that is me. I would go for something like a bath set. That way she associates those magical bath moments with you. Not a dead flower.

I was just trying to give you advice like you asked for. Being cynical was a bit uncalled for.

Buana Fourtuna~!
 

Mr.Speed

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@zero: the idea with the bath set ist brilliant, its kind of erotical too ;), but do you think it is not,umm.. some sort of insulting,like the meaning: "get a bath!", you know?

thanks for your help :)
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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unorthodox

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How about you give her a bottle? Vodka, or if you want to be more original Konyak (if you can find it). Show up with a bottle under your arm and go heeeey, and show it to her. It's ok to give a bottle, since you both gonna drink it right then probably. It's kinda like giving girl a lingirie.
 

zerocelcius

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never give booze on as a first gift!
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

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