"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Stumped

gettinit

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2017
Messages
240
Reaction score
202
I had three dates with a woman. First one: Met for drinks, had a great time, kiss close, texted me the next day saying she had a great time and wanted to see me again. Date two a week and a half later (she had to travel for work for five days): Took her axe throwing and played other games at the place. Again, kiss close dropping her off and she offered to plan the next date. Third date: She planned it and seemed enthusiastic about getting together. We went to a local place for some food and then bowling. She covered the food, I covered the bowling. We came back to my place for a drink, started some light escalation and kissing, her daughter calls (late teens) in tears over breaking up with her boyfriend and asking when she would be home. She leaves, but before going, tells me that she is going to cook me dinner at her place next time. I was busy for the next few days and was going fishing, so I didn't get in touch with her for 5 days. Contacted her on Thursday asking if she was free to get together over the weekend. She replied that her other daughter was visiting, so she would be spending time with her (no future alternate was offered). I simply responded "OK, enjoy your visit". I texted her the following Monday to ask what her schedule looked like for the week and I got the "nice" blow off text. I just told her OK and to feel free to get in touch if she changes her mind.

I'm stumped on this one since it was going perfectly (in my mind anyway).
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Epimanes

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2012
Messages
1,268
Reaction score
615
Age
48
I'd say something like "ok hope everything is OK with your daughter. Let me know when your free or if there is anything I can do to help"

Then carry on your merry way for a bit.

No need to overthink this...
 

gettinit

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2017
Messages
240
Reaction score
202
Perhaps you misunderstood. She said that she wasn't interested in seeing me anymore (not in those words). Offered to make me dinner, 5 days later with no other interaction: goodbye. Nothing to overthink.
 

Willie Naylor

Banned
Joined
Nov 2, 2021
Messages
886
Reaction score
695
Perhaps you misunderstood. She said that she wasn't interested in seeing me anymore (not in those words). Offered to make me dinner, 5 days later with no other interaction: goodbye. Nothing to overthink.
Another guy came into the picture. This is almost always the case when a woman does something unusual that causes guys to make threads like this.
 

firstbornunicorn

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2020
Messages
781
Reaction score
711
Age
33
Bad timing that may involve another guy, or she's just got other priorities at the moment.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,066
Reaction score
4,846
Age
36
I had three dates with a woman. First one: Met for drinks, had a great time, kiss close, texted me the next day saying she had a great time and wanted to see me again. Date two a week and a half later (she had to travel for work for five days): Took her axe throwing and played other games at the place. Again, kiss close dropping her off and she offered to plan the next date. Third date: She planned it and seemed enthusiastic about getting together. We went to a local place for some food and then bowling. She covered the food, I covered the bowling. We came back to my place for a drink, started some light escalation and kissing, her daughter calls (late teens) in tears over breaking up with her boyfriend and asking when she would be home. She leaves, but before going, tells me that she is going to cook me dinner at her place next time. I was busy for the next few days and was going fishing, so I didn't get in touch with her for 5 days. Contacted her on Thursday asking if she was free to get together over the weekend. She replied that her other daughter was visiting, so she would be spending time with her (no future alternate was offered). I simply responded "OK, enjoy your visit". I texted her the following Monday to ask what her schedule looked like for the week and I got the "nice" blow off text. I just told her OK and to feel free to get in touch if she changes her mind.

I'm stumped on this one since it was going perfectly (in my mind anyway).
Stopped reading at single mom. Aim higher.
 

Stuffnu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2014
Messages
535
Reaction score
735
Age
43
You had three dates - that’s a good thing. Most guys struggle to get one.
You’re doing a good job lining them up so keep at it.
That last one caught you chasing. My answer, no problem - another time without follow up. A girl with high interest will make it easy for you and come around. If not, you have other dates in the pipeline.
 

metalwater

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
1,606
Reaction score
1,330
Location
random
5 days... reach out one more time in 7 to 10 more days. she might be moody when you last interacted.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
5,519
Reaction score
5,697
Another guy came into the picture. This is almost always the case when a woman does something unusual that causes guys to make threads like this.
Yup. Most likely her ex or some guy she's on and off with.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,066
Reaction score
4,846
Age
36
I like the Heartiste reference.



Yes! Especially with Millennials about to start turning 40 in droves. There are going to be a ton of childless Millennial women turning 40 in the 2020s. It will be eaiser to avoid single moms.
Still pursuing young. While I agree with Aaron Clarey they are insufferable, not dealing with old bags. Rather fapppp. Late teens early 20s preferably. Mid twenties as fallback. But you know what it is man. My D won't suck itself. Still never going my age or older.
 

Macadellic

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2021
Messages
380
Reaction score
498
Spin more plates and if you are doing it correctly they will spin themselves.
 

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
1,458
Reaction score
2,572
I had three dates with a woman. First one: Met for drinks, had a great time, kiss close, texted me the next day saying she had a great time and wanted to see me again. Date two a week and a half later (she had to travel for work for five days): Took her axe throwing and played other games at the place. Again, kiss close dropping her off and she offered to plan the next date. Third date: She planned it and seemed enthusiastic about getting together. We went to a local place for some food and then bowling. She covered the food, I covered the bowling. We came back to my place for a drink, started some light escalation and kissing, her daughter calls (late teens) in tears over breaking up with her boyfriend and asking when she would be home. She leaves, but before going, tells me that she is going to cook me dinner at her place next time. I was busy for the next few days and was going fishing, so I didn't get in touch with her for 5 days. Contacted her on Thursday asking if she was free to get together over the weekend. She replied that her other daughter was visiting, so she would be spending time with her (no future alternate was offered). I simply responded "OK, enjoy your visit". I texted her the following Monday to ask what her schedule looked like for the week and I got the "nice" blow off text. I just told her OK and to feel free to get in touch if she changes her mind.

I'm stumped on this one since it was going perfectly (in my mind anyway).
As @Family Man and @2Rocky said, there is nothing you can do or anything to analyze.

Not sure how new you are to this forum but this type of scenario is quite common in modern dating. And one thing is for certain, spending any type of mental energy trying to figure what went "wrong" is detrimental to your masculinity.

You have to realize by now that women are like the ocean. Tides that constantly change their force. Tides that are going up and down, right and left depending on where the moon is. You just have to roll with it if you don't want to drown. And right now, most men are drowning when dating modern women.

Let it be. And don't let her inconsistency be a reflection of what you did or did not do.

Move on.


Modern Man Advice
 
Top