"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Stumped

gettinit

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2017
Messages
240
Reaction score
202
I had three dates with a woman. First one: Met for drinks, had a great time, kiss close, texted me the next day saying she had a great time and wanted to see me again. Date two a week and a half later (she had to travel for work for five days): Took her axe throwing and played other games at the place. Again, kiss close dropping her off and she offered to plan the next date. Third date: She planned it and seemed enthusiastic about getting together. We went to a local place for some food and then bowling. She covered the food, I covered the bowling. We came back to my place for a drink, started some light escalation and kissing, her daughter calls (late teens) in tears over breaking up with her boyfriend and asking when she would be home. She leaves, but before going, tells me that she is going to cook me dinner at her place next time. I was busy for the next few days and was going fishing, so I didn't get in touch with her for 5 days. Contacted her on Thursday asking if she was free to get together over the weekend. She replied that her other daughter was visiting, so she would be spending time with her (no future alternate was offered). I simply responded "OK, enjoy your visit". I texted her the following Monday to ask what her schedule looked like for the week and I got the "nice" blow off text. I just told her OK and to feel free to get in touch if she changes her mind.

I'm stumped on this one since it was going perfectly (in my mind anyway).
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Epimanes

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2012
Messages
1,268
Reaction score
615
Age
48
I'd say something like "ok hope everything is OK with your daughter. Let me know when your free or if there is anything I can do to help"

Then carry on your merry way for a bit.

No need to overthink this...
 

gettinit

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2017
Messages
240
Reaction score
202
Perhaps you misunderstood. She said that she wasn't interested in seeing me anymore (not in those words). Offered to make me dinner, 5 days later with no other interaction: goodbye. Nothing to overthink.
 

Willie Naylor

Banned
Joined
Nov 2, 2021
Messages
886
Reaction score
695
Perhaps you misunderstood. She said that she wasn't interested in seeing me anymore (not in those words). Offered to make me dinner, 5 days later with no other interaction: goodbye. Nothing to overthink.
Another guy came into the picture. This is almost always the case when a woman does something unusual that causes guys to make threads like this.
 

firstbornunicorn

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2020
Messages
781
Reaction score
711
Age
33
Bad timing that may involve another guy, or she's just got other priorities at the moment.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,066
Reaction score
4,846
Age
36
I had three dates with a woman. First one: Met for drinks, had a great time, kiss close, texted me the next day saying she had a great time and wanted to see me again. Date two a week and a half later (she had to travel for work for five days): Took her axe throwing and played other games at the place. Again, kiss close dropping her off and she offered to plan the next date. Third date: She planned it and seemed enthusiastic about getting together. We went to a local place for some food and then bowling. She covered the food, I covered the bowling. We came back to my place for a drink, started some light escalation and kissing, her daughter calls (late teens) in tears over breaking up with her boyfriend and asking when she would be home. She leaves, but before going, tells me that she is going to cook me dinner at her place next time. I was busy for the next few days and was going fishing, so I didn't get in touch with her for 5 days. Contacted her on Thursday asking if she was free to get together over the weekend. She replied that her other daughter was visiting, so she would be spending time with her (no future alternate was offered). I simply responded "OK, enjoy your visit". I texted her the following Monday to ask what her schedule looked like for the week and I got the "nice" blow off text. I just told her OK and to feel free to get in touch if she changes her mind.

I'm stumped on this one since it was going perfectly (in my mind anyway).
Stopped reading at single mom. Aim higher.
 

Stuffnu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2014
Messages
535
Reaction score
735
Age
43
You had three dates - that’s a good thing. Most guys struggle to get one.
You’re doing a good job lining them up so keep at it.
That last one caught you chasing. My answer, no problem - another time without follow up. A girl with high interest will make it easy for you and come around. If not, you have other dates in the pipeline.
 

metalwater

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
1,606
Reaction score
1,330
Location
random
5 days... reach out one more time in 7 to 10 more days. she might be moody when you last interacted.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
5,519
Reaction score
5,697
Another guy came into the picture. This is almost always the case when a woman does something unusual that causes guys to make threads like this.
Yup. Most likely her ex or some guy she's on and off with.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,066
Reaction score
4,846
Age
36
I like the Heartiste reference.



Yes! Especially with Millennials about to start turning 40 in droves. There are going to be a ton of childless Millennial women turning 40 in the 2020s. It will be eaiser to avoid single moms.
Still pursuing young. While I agree with Aaron Clarey they are insufferable, not dealing with old bags. Rather fapppp. Late teens early 20s preferably. Mid twenties as fallback. But you know what it is man. My D won't suck itself. Still never going my age or older.
 

Macadellic

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2021
Messages
380
Reaction score
498
Spin more plates and if you are doing it correctly they will spin themselves.
 

Modern Man Advice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 3, 2021
Messages
1,458
Reaction score
2,572
I had three dates with a woman. First one: Met for drinks, had a great time, kiss close, texted me the next day saying she had a great time and wanted to see me again. Date two a week and a half later (she had to travel for work for five days): Took her axe throwing and played other games at the place. Again, kiss close dropping her off and she offered to plan the next date. Third date: She planned it and seemed enthusiastic about getting together. We went to a local place for some food and then bowling. She covered the food, I covered the bowling. We came back to my place for a drink, started some light escalation and kissing, her daughter calls (late teens) in tears over breaking up with her boyfriend and asking when she would be home. She leaves, but before going, tells me that she is going to cook me dinner at her place next time. I was busy for the next few days and was going fishing, so I didn't get in touch with her for 5 days. Contacted her on Thursday asking if she was free to get together over the weekend. She replied that her other daughter was visiting, so she would be spending time with her (no future alternate was offered). I simply responded "OK, enjoy your visit". I texted her the following Monday to ask what her schedule looked like for the week and I got the "nice" blow off text. I just told her OK and to feel free to get in touch if she changes her mind.

I'm stumped on this one since it was going perfectly (in my mind anyway).
As @Family Man and @2Rocky said, there is nothing you can do or anything to analyze.

Not sure how new you are to this forum but this type of scenario is quite common in modern dating. And one thing is for certain, spending any type of mental energy trying to figure what went "wrong" is detrimental to your masculinity.

You have to realize by now that women are like the ocean. Tides that constantly change their force. Tides that are going up and down, right and left depending on where the moon is. You just have to roll with it if you don't want to drown. And right now, most men are drowning when dating modern women.

Let it be. And don't let her inconsistency be a reflection of what you did or did not do.

Move on.


Modern Man Advice
 
Top