Stumbling back to Beta

[Black Hammer]

So there’s a girl I’m seeing, been with her about a year. She got some medical issues and went to go see her gyn because of immense pain she was feeling down there. Her gyn told her from he scans they did, there’s a very little chance of her being able to have kids. She came to see me the day after and let me know this. Then she told me she wants me to be able to have kids running around the house one day and she might not be able to give that to me, and that I’m still young and that we could look back at this and possibly say that we loved each other and it was what it was. She wants to take every moment as it comes, be happy, whatever brings her happiness and she knows that being with me will hinder that because she will often consider my feelings when doing some of those things. She told me to think about it, twice that day. I thought about it a for couple weeks, while communication had greatly lessened, and decided it was best for us both we leave it and go our separate ways. She later on called me up crying because “I’ve left her in these trying moments” and all the rest that comes with a breakup.


As a recovering Beta, I slipped back into that mindset and started apologising, asking for forgiveness and going on about how I had made a mistake, asked her to take me back. I texted her once each day for the next five days with that talk. Ik ik...*facepalm*. Hindsight is 20/20.

Anyway I didn’t hear from her for two weeks, then she texted me some morning saying she forgives me and that’s it’s all in the past. Having slipped back into a Beta mindset I’m now stuck. Forgiveness was stated but no clarification on whether she still wants to be with me. Plus remembering Rollo tomassi’s iron Rule I’ve put myself in a pretty sticky situation. Haven’t seen her yet since that text, which was on 4th april. If I do get back with her I see myself manipulating her subtly to keep things in check now that I’m more red pill aware.

What should I do? Oh yeah, I’m a 25 year old chap in my final year of uni

 

[Spaz]

Since u r a university student, I trust u r able to answer the following honestly.

What do you think is the problem ?

Answer :

What resources do you need 2 to settle this predicament?

Answer :

If we were 2 provide all the resources you need, how long would it take 4 you to settle it?

Answer :

Edit: Btw welcome 2 SoSuave

 

[Black Hammer]

Since u r a university student, I trust u r able to answer the following honestly.

What do you think is the problem ?

Answer :

What resources do you need 2 to settle this predicament?

Answer :

If we were 2 provide all the resources you need, how long would it take 4 you to settle it?

Answer :

Edit: Btw welcome 2 SoSuave

Answer to question 1: I think the problem is after being told that info by her gyn, she feels like she wants to take every moment as it comes, and simply put herself first. At the same time she’s comfortable in the relationship, so she’s torn between the two.

Answer to question 2: resources? I think the cold hard truth that I’m subconsciously trying to avoid. Honestly I don’t think I can do anything about that medical issue, but the fact that she told me to think about it, and she said this twice, Makes me ponder. I feel like it was a test, which I passed by putting myself first and walking away, then went back to simp-mode.

Answer to 3: I think I can settle it in two weeks, which is when I’ll be able to see her again.

I appreciate the warm welcome mate.

 

[The Diver]

She told me to think about it, twice that day. I thought about it a for couple weeks, while communication had greatly lessened, and decided it was best for us both we leave it and go our separate ways.

Anyway I didn’t hear from her for two weeks,

You actually solved your problem unintentionally .You turn back to beta, and now she despise you for that, and don't want your sorry a*ss back. But you didn't want to stay with her anyway, no? So now she feel good with herself for dumping you, and you got your freedom back. Win win situation for both of you, LOL.

 

[Black Hammer]

You actually solved your problem unintentionally .You turn back to beta, and now she despise you for that, and don't want your sorry a*ss back. But you didn't want to stay with her anyway, no? So now she feel good with herself for dumping you, and you got your freedom back. Win win situation for both of you, LOL.

Haha well said. I did want to stay with her but the realisation that I’m in my mid twenties with nothing going for myself, Other things should be at the focal point. When I do meet up with her if she says she wants to be with me, after I had asked to get back with her, won’t I look like such a p***y for seeming so indecisive yet it’s me who asked to get back with her?

 

[The Diver]

When I do meet up with her if she says she wants to be with me, after I had asked to get back with her, won’t I look like such a p***y for seeming so indecisive yet it’s me who asked to get back with her?

It is unlikely she will take you back after your suicide pathetic crying (if you'll do go back to her after all, you'll be her door mate , b'cos she lost any respect for you).
For you, this game is over, you totally lost your solid frame,, but it doesn't matter, b'cos that what you wanted anyway. (to leave her)
If she'll call you to set up a meeting, tell her you thought about it again and decided to move on.

 

[wifehunter]

When we build our frame on sand (see: faking it, till you make it), the storms in life will tear it down.

Find the firm foundation. Find the rock.

Only then, will you not lose frame.

 

[Spaz]

Answer to question 1: I think the problem is after being told that info by her gyn, she feels like she wants to take every moment as it comes, and simply put herself first. At the same time she’s comfortable in the relationship, so she’s torn between the two.

Answer to question 2: resources? I think the cold hard truth that I’m subconsciously trying to avoid. Honestly I don’t think I can do anything about that medical issue, but the fact that she told me to think about it, and she said this twice, Makes me ponder. I feel like it was a test, which I passed by putting myself first and walking away, then went back to simp-mode.

Answer to 3: I think I can settle it in two weeks, which is when I’ll be able to see her again.

I appreciate the warm welcome mate.

Now u hv ur answer.