Study: Men Become Happier Than Women by Midlife

[Rollo Tomassi]

Now what I'm saying is, take that 37 year old guy and put him in a club with 21 year old girls and guys and you will see attracting these girls isn't easy for the 30-something guy.

I don't necessarily disagree with this, however I think it's contextual. I'm regularly at events (mixers, clubs, promos, vodka nights, etc.) as part of my work where I'm approached by much younger women. If the 37 y.o. guy is perceived to be attempting to "fit in" with that age's social peers, then you're absolutely correct. The disconnect comes from a man who'd otherwise be perceived as possessing the attributes he should have for his age trying to retrograde himself into another age's social profile. THAT'S when he becomes the "old guy in the club".

When I'm on promos, or out socially as part of my job, I NEVER attempt to 'backdate' myself style-wise, linguistically, etc. If you're attractive, the girls who want to associate with a mature Man will find you.

 

[LoneSilver]

Well, I am 49 never married have no kids and what do I hear whispering.. he must be gay..Then I start seeing someone years younger having the time of my life then I am accused of being immature robbing the mothers womb..

Dam if you do dam if you don't but I have learned when your a fit good looking man like I am and I had to overcome my rut I was in that people are going to judge you regardless..

Just the other day I was grocery shopping I was in the produce section I see this pretty blonde with a nice fit looking body when she turned around I notice shes bout early 40's I was find with it no problem so I go to the strawberries and she makes her way up to me and I make small talk with her to get a feel of her personality. I say those strawberries look good don't they? She says in a downer mood yeah and just as I was going to follow up with what you can do with strawberries she walks over to the bananas and I thought that will be her penis for the night.

Since I am seeing a couple younger girls now I was not effected by her just walking off like that like I normally would before..The thing was I would have gladly taken her out and treated her to a good time but never mind you get the message.

You see my point was I would have liked to have gottin' to know this lady who was only a few years younger then me but her atittude sucked and I was turned off...but I am careful not to judge every older gal that walks by.

Now about men and midlife crisis. I have options as being single sh*t don't effect me as someone who might have been in a marriage for years and wants to live his youth over again.

I can buy any American sports car I want but I drive a 2003 Ford Ranger XLT if thats not good enough for any woman shes not good enough for me I'll show her my deep pockets in other ways once she proves herself to me.

Thats the problem with someone going through a midlife crisis and goes and buys an expensive sports car he is automatically a target for having money from some young thing and she is open to his advances sugar daddy she knows she got. But if your attracting a younger babe when she doesn't even know what you drive or where you live and your driving a late model mid size truck like I do then you can see there is a big difference in the attraction equation. If things work out in the long run then I will expose my deeper pockets in other ways if shes a good girl but outright golddiggin' don't work with me it's fake...

Now the just turned 24 year old I see is a good example she has her own business she don't need my money and never once have I sense her being attracted in that way just because I am middle age and we get along find. The other young lady whose 30 year old is the same only she doesn't have her own business but makes her own way and both know of each other I keep no secrets...

I must be a different toad in the pond.

LoneSilver

 

[edger]

Of course the majority of escorts clientele are wealthy men.. lol.. who do you think can afford to indulge in it on a regular basis. As to why do they do it? Because they can. Charlie Sheen for example. Famous movie star, could date any hottie wants, well at least 10 year ago, now he looks like a turkey, yet he was racking tens of thousands of dollars in escort bills. Many of these wealthy guys have hot young wives at home, but for many men one pvssy is never enough and the easiest way to get some is to pick up the phone and have one at your hotel in an hour. Or in many cases a lot of these wealthy guys are AFCs, they got married young and are now stuck with some fat, ugly, nagging *****. What do they do? Divorcing at this stage can be quite costly. Get an escort.. Easy. They have the money, so why not?

These examples you present as to why wealthy men use escorts, are all cop-outs. Cop-outs for the guys who don't wanna admit(because they feel funny) they have a hard time pulling and getting laid by hot women, so they throw these excuses into the mix. Guys who pay for escorts are guys who are having a hard time pulling. Very simple knowledge. The excuses you're throwing out here are weak. No guy in his right mind will PAY for an escort if he doesn't have to. #1, it's humilating for the guy, because the escort many times likely perceives him to be desperate..and #2, if he can supposedly "get it" for free, since his wealth is supposedly such a chick magnet for him, where he has hot women throwing themselves at him, then why would he pay for it? See what I'm saying? So, what you're saying, doesn't float well.

 

[edger]

According to where you live 50-60K may not get you much. And an average single 40+ year old making that sort of salary, has 60% chance of being divorced and paying 28% or more of his salary in child support . To top this off most are also out of shape.

So why would a beautiful 20 something girl look at this guy as a viable option when she has so much more choices IF she really is hot. She can get a young guy who is also a go-getter and has a big future ahead. Why settle? Would anyone here (even over 40)want to settle for a 40 something women who pays child support making 50K a year? Especially if you never had kids but want them? With the older guy making a salary of 50-60K (part of that going to Uncle Sam and child support) she needs to really think how she will raise her kids. If they have kids and she doesn't want to work and raise them, then what? She has no choice! Believe it or not there are still women who don't want daycare centers raising their kids.

Oh absolutely. If the guy's raking in 50k-60k a year(at least in NY) and has all these other factors he has to deal with(child support, taxes), then yes, he doesn't sound like a good prosepect to a woman who wants kids. But that's a whole different story, I wasn't talking about that. But don't forget too, people(especially women in particular)can't act like spoiled little brats either. So what, you don't have your f*ckin' built-in pool, jacuzzi, 2 car garage, 2 story brand new over-priced colonial house in a new development, with the Lexus and Land Rover in the driveway. You don't "need" these things. What's wrong with just being able to live "comfortably", in an ordinary house, with an avg. priced car, 1 car garage, etc. etc. etc.? This is what I'm getting at. The problem is, no, everyone in the States must have MORE than that. The American people are a bunch of gluttons. Enough is never enough.

 

[edger]

"Golddiggers" is another one of those terms that seems to be popular with ugly, older women. There is nothing wrong with a woman who exchanges her looks and youth for the best deal she can get in life. Beautiful women and wealthy men have been doing this for centuries. A woman wants a man who can take care of her and her offspring. It is as simple as that. There is nothing "golddigger" about it. Are there real golddiggers out there who take a man for all that he is got and leave him? Sure! But, the majority just want a man who can be a good provider. That is it. Some day if you have a daughter, are you gonna want her to marry a guy who flips burgers at McDonalds? Or a Doctor?

Yes, a woman wants a man who will be able to take care of her and her offspring while she's raising the kids or is pregnant..that's perfectly fine, I've never disputed that. But read what I wrote to Rico about having to have the brand new 2 story over-priced colonial house in the new development, the 2 car garage, built-in pool, jacuzzi, and the Lexus and Land Rover sitting in the driveway. When I refer to the "gold-digging woman", THAT, as well as the woman who sits at home all day without kids or preganancy being in the picture mooching off her husband, is what comes to mind.

 

[ketostix]

I don't necessarily disagree with this, however I think it's contextual. I'm regularly at events (mixers, clubs, promos, vodka nights, etc.) as part of my work where I'm approached by much younger women. If the 37 y.o. guy is perceived to be attempting to "fit in" with that age's social peers, then you're absolutely correct. The disconnect comes from a man who'd otherwise be perceived as possessing the attributes he should have for his age trying to retrograde himself into another age's social profile. THAT'S when he becomes the "old guy in the club".

When I'm on promos, or out socially as part of my job, I NEVER attempt to 'backdate' myself style-wise, linguistically, etc. If you're attractive, the girls who want to associate with a mature Man will find you.

Good point and now we're getting somewhere. When I was thinking of the 30-40 y.o. guys that get attraction from the 21 y.o. in the club, I was thinking they were acting like and fitting in with the 21 y.o. crowd, which in some ways is true, but really they were mostly doing their own thing and focusing and running their attraction on the girl. I can see trying to retrograde to the style and conversations of a typical younger guys' profile could just bring you the contempt of the younger crowd in a bar setting.

On the other hand, you have the school of thought that the older guy needs to look and dress 20-something and fit in with a social network of younger people. I really think it is contextual.

 

[synergy1]

Oh absolutely. If the guy's raking in 50k-60k a year(at least in NY) and has all these other factors he has to deal with(child support, taxes), then yes, he doesn't sound like a good prosepect to a woman who wants kids. But that's a whole different story, I wasn't talking about that. But don't forget too, people(especially women in particular)can't act like spoiled little brats either. So what, you don't have your f*ckin' built-in pool, jacuzzi, 2 car garage, 2 story brand new over-priced colonial house in a new development, with the Lexus and Land Rover in the driveway. You don't "need" these things. What's wrong with just being able to live "comfortably", in an ordinary house, with an avg. priced car, 1 car garage, etc. etc. etc.? This is what I'm getting at. The problem is, no, everyone in the States must have MORE than that. The American people are a bunch of gluttons. Enough is never enough.

amen man, Americans pride themselves on who they are by what they own. Many guys qualify themselves to others, guy and girl alike, by what they have. George Carlin said it best, people spend money they don't have on stuff they don't need.

My roommate is a materialistic individual with no aversion to debt. He is defined by the stuff he never uses. In many ways, there isn't all that much beyond that which is interesting about him. He doesn't really have a dynamic personality or anything. All that stuff he owns doesn't help him look good and stay in shape.

Stuff is useless. Living , learning and connecting with people is everything.

 

[bigjohnson]

To my knowledge there are no cosmetic lines selling make up intended to make women look older....

If I was into vanity signature lines, this would go into one.

if middle aged men are so dang happy , why do you hear so many stories of "he's going through a mid life crisis"???

Because their wife/partner is going through menopause. I've NEVER seen a long term single guy have a midlife crisis.

 

[STR8UP]

Because their wife/partner is going through menopause. I've NEVER seen a long term single guy have a midlife crisis.

I have often wondered, since i already drive a sports car, have a killer bachelor pad, and date women who have parents closer to MY age than theirs.....is it POSSIBLE to ever have a midlife crisis?

Honestly...I don't see how

 

[sodbuster]

The mid-life crisis is a load of BS. When I've sacrificed for years raising my kids with an unappreciative wife[who would mow the lawn and not shower before bed-I have asthema] and decide enough is enough. Get a divorce,hit the bars,travel, date women like I did before the marriage, buy a new pickup[old one has 140k on it],think about a motorcycle to replace the one I sold after the wedding[can't fit a baby's car seat on it and don't have the time to ride].
Some may WANT to call it a midlife crisis,but I'm just doing what I would have done IF I didn't have responsibilities and duties of fatherhood[what I did when I was single and free]

 

[bigjohnson]

I guess I have it too, I'm getting a second motorcycle later this fall and thinking about taking private pilot lessons after I master SCUBA diving this summer. What a destructive cycle of self improvement this is.

 

[bigjohnson]

Instead thse "immature" men choose to spend their $$ on themselves and possibly even on some "younger girl bimbo".

Ya you know it. I just bought a sweet 23 yo an iPod she wanted to reward her, ahem, good behavior. The good behavior seemed to continue full force afterwards too - see, they CAN be trained.

 

[Hooligan Harry]

These examples you present as to why wealthy men use escorts, are all cop-outs. Cop-outs for the guys who don't wanna admit(because they feel funny) they have a hard time pulling and getting laid by hot women, so they throw these excuses into the mix. Guys who pay for escorts are guys who are having a hard time pulling. Very simple knowledge. The excuses you're throwing out here are weak. No guy in his right mind will PAY for an escort if he doesn't have to. #1, it's humilating for the guy, because the escort many times likely perceives him to be desperate..and #2, if he can supposedly "get it" for free, since his wealth is supposedly such a chick magnet for him, where he has hot women throwing themselves at him, then why would he pay for it? See what I'm saying? So, what you're saying, doesn't float well.

Look, there are a lot of reasons to use escorts. You always pay for sex. ALWAYS. Be it with time, gifts or emotional strain. Time is the biggest killer.

1) They require less time to nail. As you get older time becomes more difficult to find. The last thing a 40 year old senior executive wants to do is go down to a nightclub and try his luck. What for? What's worse? A guy in his late 40s trying to chat up girls at the nightclub OR the guy who uses that time for something better and just pays a hot chick for sex? Im no quite sure

2) Its cheaper then dating. Work out how much you spend on the average **** and then work out how much it costs you to shag a decent hooker. Include the "admin" that goes into maintaining even a simple relationship for the sole purpose of sex. Trust me, the wealthier you are, the cheaper it is to bang high class escorts

3) If you dont want to commit to a relationship you dont have to. You have cheap sex available.

4) If you are already in one, "spinning plates" is not only time consuming but can land you in hot water. Some men need variety in their lives just like the wife needs 300 pairs of shoes

5) You dont have to invest time in the chase. Sometime you just dont have it

I have not done the deed yet, but I can tell you I have thought about it plenty. There have been times when I have been in relationships where sex more then once a week was a lot. Considering what the relationship cost me from a time and financial point of view, I could have ****ed 10 different high class hookers every month. My sex life would have been better, I would have fewer commitments and I would have been banging hotter women.

Pay for play is something only seen as wrong in Anglo countries for some reason. Look at the perception of prostitution in Asia, South America and Eastern Europe. Hell, even Germany, Spain and Holland these days. Dont discount the role o Christianity in making prostitution a social evil.

Sorry mate, all women are *****s. Some are just more honest about it.

 

[Mr. Me]

I think this study is flawed in its logic.

I think the real reason women come out as not happy is that they find things to complain about more then men do. Simple as that.

Ask any man who's ever been with a woman if that isn't true.

Proof: In the video, the guys in the interview talk about how they're happy because they enjoy their possessions, right? ("I have a couple of cool cars, I take vacations")

Well, the women could've stated the same reason but NO. Instead, for example, one women on vacation in NYC complains that "he had to put the suitcases in the car and I did everything else so I'm stressed and unhappy".

Whatever "everything else" means. I'll bet it really means:

"I made this into a huge project and made a ton of needless work for myself and now my nerves are frayed".

All he did was put the suitcases in the car, eh? Discounting her husband's contribution. He probably did much more, but she's not in love with him, so she disses him on national tv. Nice.

What she overlooked:

* She has a car at her disposal.
* She has lots of things she owns to pack in that car (and I'll bet that 95% of what was packed was her stuff).
* Bet her husband did all the driving, so she was basically chauffeured from Illinois to NYC.
* Bet he paid for the gas and tolls and meals along the way and the stopover at Motel 9.
* Bet he paid for her hotel, souvenirs, trinkets, tours, all meals and drinks and a Broadway show included.

But she's "unhappy". Go figure. Damn. Put a gal's frickin' suitcases in my car, drive her somewhere and pay for her vacation and she has the nerve to tell me she's unhappy...

Like the researchers point out in the article:

"the researchers found that happiness and satisfaction with life boil down to the gap between what you want and what you have."

So these women focus more on what they WANT then what they HAVE whereas those men focused on what they HAVE.

So, if I understand this study correctly, the key to happiness is basically:

Be happy with what you have.

Or at least be happy that you're not a middle aged woman.

 

[thedeparted]

I have often wondered, since i already drive a sports car, have a killer bachelor pad, and date women who have parents closer to MY age than theirs.....is it POSSIBLE to ever have a midlife crisis?

Honestly...I don't see how

LOL

 

[backbreaker]

i have just read the first page so bare with me here... but everyone seems to have missed the point of what Rollo has been preaching.


He never said that there aren't hot, even smokin hot older women. Which is what the arguement seems to be built around.

he is saying that the OLDER a woman gets, the more the penglion starts to shift towards the man. The woman doesn' thave the SAME effect as she did.

Put it in other words, that hot woman at 40, was even hotter at 30 and was probably even hotter at 25. She ages well yes, but doesn't mean she is just as hot as she was when she was 25. She doesn't have the SAME effect on men as she did. The curves don't hit JUST as right as they did. The tit's aren't AS perky.

so while a woman might still be, very easy on the eyes, she lives in her own skin and she can tell the effect she is having on men is not the same as it was when she was 15 years younger, which can set off depression to some extent.

at least that is the way I see it. My old oneitis is just 25.. actually she's just 24 and we still talk from time to time, i've known her for ever, she is doing well, and even she at 24 can tell she doesn't have quite the same effect on guys as she did when she was 18. I mean she's still very easy on the eyes, but still she can tell the difference.

 

[synergy1]

I have often wondered, since i already drive a sports car, have a killer bachelor pad, and date women who have parents closer to MY age than theirs.....is it POSSIBLE to ever have a midlife crisis?

Honestly...I don't see how

I have to say it: i think you just spelled out what a midlife crisis is.

 

[backbreaker]

midlife crisis is a term made up by women who are bitter about the freedom an unattached man with options has.

 

[synergy1]

midlife crisis is a term made up by women who are bitter about the freedom an unattached man with options has.

I wasn't contending who invented the ideology, just pointing out that I believe what he listed were some attributes of someone going through one.

 

[STR8UP]

I wasn't contending who invented the ideology, just pointing out that I believe what he listed were some attributes of someone going through one.

My point was-

If you've ALWAYS driven a sports car and banged younger women, then there is no "transition", thus there was no "crisis".