Struggles with women

[The Duke]

Looking at your group of male friends, what are some of the reasons they struggle with women?

-Expectations are too high. Wants the hot, 25yo, no kids girl but is 53yo, lacks in the looks, not congruent, cheap, and doesn't understand female emotions.
-Goes for looks over substance.
-Doesn't communicate.
-Doesn't understand what generates tingles in women and that its important to do on a regular basis.
-When things get difficult with significant other, he goes and fuhks another girl instead of discussing the problem.


Looking at yourself, what are some of the reasons you struggle with women?

-I lose interest over time, too much "hunter" drive in me.
-I stop putting effort into my relationships like I did in the beginning.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I am using my friend struggling right now
- He has no game, confidence, rizz, personality, and is just overall very bvtchy, robotic, and hard to be around
- He refuses to looksmax appropriately by just dressing boring and not having any style at all
- Only has nerdy hobbies that appeal to nerd bros like Ji Jitsu and Joe Rogan
- Stubborn, won't take any advice and chases women outside his range

Why did I struggle in the Past?
- I was stubborn and refused to adapt
- I came across as bitter, robotic, and edgy in the weird unattractive way
- I never put myself out there, only on apps and bars
- I went for women that prioritized race over other things

 

[plumber]

when we stop struggling, it gets easier.

 

[Mike32ct]

1. Only have one married guy friend. He has always been attractive to women.

2. Right now, my #1 thing is I bury myself in work. I genuinely like my job and have a great boss, but I use too busy/too tired as an excuse to avoid putting myself out there. In other words, I’ve gotten way too comfortable alone and hiding in my WFH “bubble.”

 

[BadBoy89]

i really think a lot of men’s problems with younger women are due to a lack of height and hair, Older women don’t care, they have had their kids and just want the mans money.

But if you looking for reasons men are struggling to attract women in the West? Lack of height is number 1. If all men on Sosuave were tall, they would clean up, no questions asked.

Saving for a few, a lot of men here are normal decent guys, They all have jobs, they all pay their bills, they all talk normally; some guys on here talk very well. They probably look ok, maybe could spend a few more hours in the gym (we all could), and as far clothes, as long it’s clean and fits, it’s fine. So why are they struggling?

Its lack of height. Pretty soon, 6’0 is not going to be enough, it will be 6’2 - 6’6.

 

[Vanderdonck]

For my buddies (who do fine but aren't "unplugged" per se), it boils down to not being 100% true to themselves.

One seems to be afraid to be alone. So he gets into relationships with women who, from my viewpoint, dominate him. They're not outright bytches, they just seem to have him under their thumb. But what do I know, maybe he likes it.

Another is just too whipped or something. He can never seem to go out without her, go out for drinks alone with me for instance. Always counters with "couples" plans (I have a partner yes). Or a big group thing. My woman and I like to do stuff with our own friends and we do what we want, we don't need permission. So couples things are nice sometimes but I don't get why he can never go out alone, just two guys.

IMO in both situations the women are getting more what they want without the men doing the same.

As for myself, I haven't really "struggled" in a while. I got out of a relationship with a toxic chick years ago and resolved never to get sucked into that again. It would be my way or the highway and I'd be happy to be alone if necessary. Result is I had some great lays and now am in something very long term that works for both of us. She makes it easy for me though.

 

[corrector]

1. Don't have any male friends or family members to guage. Of any guys I've known before, doesn't appear that they "struggled" with women.

2. Extreme Caregiving duties with folks, in particular dad, who has mental illness and has disrupted my work rhtym many times to take him t emergency, the doctor, etc.. no money between paycheques, WFH full-time, believe the end of the world as we know it is around the corner with an apocalyptic event happening soon, fear of missing the Rapture, trying to navigate a set of difficult issue thgouh AI, gained weight, look obese, etc....

 

[Westminster]

1. Only have one married guy friend. He has always been attractive to women.

2. Right now, my #1 thing is I bury myself in work. I genuinely like my job and have a great boss, but I use too busy/too tired as an excuse to avoid putting myself out there. In other words, I’ve gotten way too comfortable alone and hiding in my WFH “bubble.”

Same here and I suspect this is the case for a lot of men nowadays.

WFH is yet another societal change which has favoured women, blurring work with domesticity. A man needs to be out and about making things happen not stuck at home.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I struggle with women because I need to work out more, to more easily move them out of my way while on the bed.

 

[plumber]

i really think a lot of men’s problems with younger women are due to a lack of height and hair, Older women don’t care, they have had their kids and just want the mans money.

But if you looking for reasons men are struggling to attract women in the West? Lack of height is number 1. If all men on Sosuave were tall, they would clean up, no questions asked.

Saving for a few, a lot of men here are normal decent guys, They all have jobs, they all pay their bills, they all talk normally; some guys on here talk very well. They probably look ok, maybe could spend a few more hours in the gym (we all could), and as far clothes, as long it’s clean and fits, it’s fine. So why are they struggling?

Its lack of height. Pretty soon, 6’0 is not going to be enough, it will be 6’2 - 6’6.

so many threads about height. yes it has huge impact.

often when i hear about how to behave and how to game from a man that is 6'2+ i filter it some. his viewpoint is several inches above average. he has never been 'short' or even just average. what works for him and makes sense does not apply 100% to men that do not have his natural height. these men often have good intentions, they just have no idea that what they are doing only works for them because they tower.

what can be done about it. nothing. its just like every other genetic feature. deal with it.

how about the guy that has slightly lower IQ, just slightly. or they guy that is ugly...

there is a way to get taller if your still adolescents. HGH, under medical supervision can add 3 inches. for older guys there is no solution other than forget about it.

if i could have some wishes from a genie, sure being 6.3 would be great. its likely my entire life would have been different, likely in very positive ways.

 

[Solomon]

Looking at your group of male friends, what are some of the reasons they struggle with women?

-Wants smokeshows but not good looking enough
-Dealing with women, they know they can get instead of the ones they want
-Afraid of taking risk, one of my buddies has no issues getting women and dates but he is afraid to take risk for example, ask a woman to his place for the first meet he's never done it.

Looking at yourself, what are some of the reasons you struggle with women?

-I get complacent easily, especially after I smash and thus stop putting forth the same effort as I did before I smashed them
- Meeting the type of woman I want to meet, I'm into a particular type i.e. nerdy chick who likes anime with big butts
-Energy I work 8-12 hours a day, last year at this time I had 3 plates and it worked somewhat due to their time (they worked too) or distance (1 lived 3 hours away) however for me I just don't have the time my current plate used to complain all the time about only seeing her once every 2 weeks. I'm not the type of guy who wants to be with a woman every day unless she is doing something for me i.e. cooking and cleaning. Most women I get bored easily with unless we have that connection or have stimulating conversations. I need more than just sex to keep my interest

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Looking at your group of male friends, what are some of the reasons they struggle with women?
Where do I even start? They are either blue-pill, simps, too woke, soy boys, white knights, captain save-a-304, etc


Looking at yourself, what are some of the reasons you struggle with women?
I havent really struggled that much in the last three years (thankfully) but when I did, I think it was low self esteem

 

[BaronOfHair]

Off the top of my head:

-What hinders the men I know

Addiction to griping over all the things they're dissatisfied with, yet being almost superhuman, in their capacity to manufacture rationalizations for not addressing those same subjects


-What hinders me:

My social anxiety has neve really "gone away"... Some days, it's tough to get up and go, when my urges to hole up indoors are strong

 

[Murk]

Mentally inept. It's not physique or money, it's confidence, which for many comes with money and gym, but the end goal is being happy and confident. Nothing more to say it's just a fact. Why you think the "ugly" or "fat" or "broke" guy gets women? Because he's secure in himself (low iQ usually, but not always) and confident. Stop living inside your head.

 

[Gamisch]

Friends; dude happens to be near my crib, so he calls me up and ask if we can smoke one. Soon As he enters my house his phone starts buzzing. His gf calls. He talks in a soft bytch azz voice( trying to deescalate something?).

Next thing he is on WhatsApp for like 5 minutes. Mind you, we haven't seens each other for a while.

His gf? Nice pretty girl yes indeed . BUT she clearly has zero respect for him. Yet he tried to double down by wanting to marry her. Haven't heard about it so I geuss she rejected the idea, and rightfully so as they are in a dead end relationship. But dude wants to flex and show the entire world he is " that guy".

I'm looking at it like...you such a big fecking p00sy, it's hard to imagine ANY woman would respect your bytch azz. The moment my girl can't respect the fact I'm (briefly) hanging out with my friends is the day she is gone. But most of my "friends" on the other hand are complete p00sies who are under 100% control of their women. Or I'd say " wives". Because dudes who have zero business being in relationships are the ones who want it the most somehow.

 

[jhonny9546]

Looking at yourself, what are some of the reasons you struggle with women?

One thing for sure is seeing women in their true nature.
They won't have any qualms about giving a BJ or doing a quickie to their co-worker, or simply to the plumber, or to the man who makes them feel emotions at that moment, and then welcome you back home, or just act as nothing really happened.

For us men, thinking such a thing, if we have a bond, a relationship with someone, is unacceptable.
It makes you lose hope in them, because we know full well that an opportunity could come your way, that is, with someone else's woman, or that your woman might do this.

This is the biggest reason I can't "bond" with women, because I know they could do this at any time. In Italy, it's also a bit more of a cultural thing than usual, so they'll justify themselves with "Come on, it only happened once" or "It was nothing special," "Just a *******."

But I imagine it's simply the same in many other countries.

You see, a man doesn't abandon his integrity for sex.
But a woman would, because of her unstable relationship with emotions.

So the thing that makes me struggle the most with women is knowing they don't have the slightest integrity.

Its lack of height

In my personal experience, I'm 165 cm, so I can confirm that's true.
For the most part. But there will always be a woman who will like you by exception.
Be tall, be rich or be lucky.

he's secure in himself (low iQ usually, but not always) and confident

With romantic relationships, it's better to be stupid, arrogant, and confident than smart, calm, and doubtful.

 

[Gamisch]

Friends; dude happens to be near my crib, so he calls me up and ask if we can smoke one. Soon As he enters my house his phone starts buzzing. His gf calls. He talks in a soft bytch azz voice( trying to deescalate something?).

Next thing he is on WhatsApp for like 5 minutes. Mind you, we haven't seens each other for a while.

His gf? Nice pretty girl yes indeed . BUT she clearly has zero respect for him. Yet he tried to double down by wanting to marry her. Haven't heard about it so I geuss she rejected the idea, and rightfully so as they are in a dead end relationship. But dude wants to flex and show the entire world he is " that guy".

I'm looking at it like...you such a big fecking p00sy, it's hard to imagine ANY woman would respect your bytch azz. The moment my girl can't respect the fact I'm (briefly) hanging out with my friends is the day she is gone. But most of my "friends" on the other hand are complete p00sies who are under 100% control of their women. Or I'd say " wives". Because dudes who have zero business being in relationships are the ones who want it the most somehow.

Myself: I used women as the barometer for how " dope" I was . I've learned the hard way that women isn't necessarily what I thought they were or what I want them to be.

It took me a long time to figure it all out. I git played, cheated on , play for a fool, lied to, broke my heart numerous times ect. The only way to do this is to have the following top three :
1. Me
2. Myself
3. And I

Like CGA said; your ego is not your amigo.

 

[jhonny9546]

To give credit to what I’ve learned and what can help anyone improve: be the best product with a good marketing for that niche.

Once you’ve built that product, you also need to find a market for it, people who simply can’t live without it. That means identifying those with high interest in you (what you define the clingy ones), filtering out the low-interest ones (what you define as "hot and cold", "mixed signals"), and simply not investing in the latter.

After you’ve figured out what (inner game) kind of person you are and where you should operate, you need to learn how (seduction) to sell.



To sum up: if you want to succeed in life, the most important thing is to spend 80% of your effort building the product and 20% knowing where and how to sell it.
Many men reverse those percentages, and they’re the ones who end up being left behind, labeled as inconsistent, or simply stuck in a beta role until they finally wake up from the fairy tale.

 

[BadBoy89]

so many threads about height. yes it has huge impact.

what can be done about it. nothing. its just like every other genetic feature. deal with it.

how about the guy that has slightly lower IQ, just slightly. or they guy that is ugly...

The issue is, it’s not like every other genetic failure.

Women have never said:

“He must have 20/20 vision” or
“He must have perfect kidneys” or
“He must have the strongest bones” or
“His teeth must be white and straight” or even
“He must have great hair”
“He must have above average IQ”
“He must not be ugly”

The only thing they have said js “must be at least 6’0”. Yes, nothing can be done about it, but on the another hand, all seduction material is crap unless the man is at least 6’0.

I often think “I’m going work out hard, get in great shape, buy new clothes, girow my hair long, get rich, etc, etc, etc.”

But then I think, “what’s the point? A girl takes 1 look at sees I’m not 6’0, I’m done.”

if i could have some wishes from a genie, sure being 6.3 would be great. its likely my entire life would have been different, likely in very positive ways.

Decent point.

Sosuave should put a disclaimer: “All seduction material on this site is crap unless the man is 6’0 or above.”

 

[plumber]

The issue is, it’s not like every other genetic failure.

Women have never said:

“He must have 20/20 vision” or
“He must have perfect kidneys” or
“He must have the strongest bones” or
“His teeth must be white and straight” or even
“He must have great hair”
“He must have above average IQ”
“He must not be ugly”

The only thing they have said js “must be at least 6’0”. Yes, nothing can be done about it, but on the another hand, all seduction material is crap unless the man is at least 6’0.

I often think “I’m going work out hard, get in great shape, buy new clothes, girow my hair long, get rich, etc, etc, etc.”

But then I think, “what’s the point? A girl takes 1 look at sees I’m not 6’0, I’m done.”



Decent point.

Sosuave should put a disclaimer: “All seduction material on this site is crap unless the man is 6’0 or above.”

i do not like to sound negative as it doesn't help most people. but... you have a point that is valid.

yes there are some exceptions, but a a general rule being tall, over 6' is a good thing for men.

so we agree. and further its sort of disingenuous to try to tell a shorter man that he can and should get the same results as the tall guy. again exceptions exists, but generally the taller guy will get better results. again we agree.

leaves a man with a choice. do the best he can or give up.

its much easier to teach a student that is trying to improve than one who does not try.

your absolutely 100% correct. being taller is a positive for men.

there are some tricks to know about this. for sure others tricks exist also.

1- tall is relative. 6' is used as it is relatively above average. one simple solution is go exist where your height is above average. of course this has limits, but anyone above 5.7 can find such a place. if being tall is really the top priority.

2 - don't hang out with guys that are far taller than you, also don't sit/stand or be presented next to them.


in short... there is no game that makes you taller.

improve the things you can and know the difference of what things you can not.

almost all tall guys thing they are smart or wise. some are, some are just tall.