Story Time. An example of what happens to men that have been lied to

[CBear]

As a member here for 8 years, although i rarely come here now, I have read, seen, and done plenty. But one idea that I've always been certain of is that it doesnt matter how many woman a man's been with, what matters is how he builds his judgements and I guarantee that won't happen through constant one night stands. Heres an example.

I'm recently married and I sat a good friend of mine (biggest player Ik) with a girl that ik would be his type and who'd be easy. It worked out great of course. He got the lay that night. Fast forward 2-3 weeks. They've been seeing each other every day, hes told her I love you, and theyre very happy. Thats absolutely perfect. Except theyre fundamentally 2 completely different individuals. Shes a poor ultra liberal, had an abortion 20 weeks in, has cheated on her past relationships. He is a conservative, totally against abortions or cheating, and has money through his family. He doesn't know about her past because she lied to him and skewed it very heavily. After a phone call where he thanked me for introducing them, I found out just how deep into this they got a couple weeks in. I told him that if he needs any info on her past or any aspect about her, im happy to give it to him. He didn't make use of it. Today, I was told that hes having her over for a 3 day weekend at her place. She also telling others that she may get rid of her IUD so he can get her pregnant and she can trap him. Best part is hes been busting in her and did so 3x the first night without knowing whether she was on BC or not. Now I have to step in to warn him so that he doesnt ruin his life.

What is my point? All those one night stands have meant absolutely nothing. They were just masterbation with other individuals. In the end, he thinks that this is a good girl and is falling for her. A man who'd have a good judgement would tell right away that this girl is bad news and wouldnt entertain anything more than a few nights.

Men have been lied to for decades, just like women have been lied to. That having pointless sex with random people is fun and will build experience and judgement. No. A lot of these men end up single and lonely (just like women), end up in bad relationships only because there was a surprise pregnancy, or can't pair bond (just like woman) because you don't even know whats good for you any longer or give up something good because of "what if" thoughts. Happens so much.

As a man. Take an ACTUAL interest. Sex is only 1 out 1000 aspects to a relationship. But it will damn sure give you rose colored glasses and fog up your vision very quickly. Find out everything about an individual and how they operate. Past, present, values, hobbies, religion, etc.. find out if youre actually compatible first. Then you can make logical decisions based on that information and practicing THAT will build your judgement. Not having mindless sex and then settling with someone that you enjoy the sex with the most. That always ends up blowing up into a toxic mess.

Good luck.

 

[quodlibet]

Bro, I've no clue what your point is.

If your point is to know a girl before getting into a relationship with them, we all know that.

There's nothing wrong with pointless sex either. Lots of people have friends with benefits. Lots of people engage in smash and dash.

Finally, lots of guys go thru a f-ckboy period and then have a happy marriage later in life.

 

[CBear]

Bro, I've no clue what your point is.

If your point is to know a girl before getting into a relationship with them, we all know that.

There's nothing wrong with pointless sex either. Lots of people have friends with benefits. Lots of people engage in smash and dash.

Finally, lots of guys go thru a f-ckboy period and then have a happy marriage later in life.

Of course there nothing wrong with it if you know what you're doing. But everyone thinks they know what they're doing until they get into these situations. THATS the point. For future reference, no need to reply if you didnt understand. But happy to hold your hand

 

[Velasco]

Find out everything about an individual and how they operate. Past, present, values, hobbies, religion

i always find this out ab a girl after i have sex with them tho.

Shes a poor ultra liberal, had an abortion 20 weeks in, has cheated on her past relationships

like i can find out if they’re poor. had several girls tell me about the abortion they had when they were young. whether she’s cheated on her bf. all this shi. i guess i just come off as nonjudgmental and they trust me enough to share all this information bc they don’t even think ab how i’ll use this against them later. sorry ab ur player friend tho. sucks

 

[Bigpapa]

i always find this out ab a girl after i have sex with them tho.

how you do it?

for a very long period of time I was just basically afraid of the answers so never really asked almost anyone about their past

 

[Velasco]

how you do it?

It’s just how human interactions works. You share something and then people will try to relate by sharing something that’s relevant to what you just said.

if i want to find out if she’s cheated before. i don’t directly ask if she’s cheated. because she will just lie because she’ll think i’ll judge her for cheating. but if we are on the topic of exs. and i mention how my ex was really controlling and i felt trapped in the relationship. and then i began talking to this girl from work. and she was like a total fresh of breath air and how i inviting her over one night and we slept together and how i did not feel guilty about it. she will either share a relevant story about any of her exs and how she cheated on him for xyz reason (she just revealed she’s a cheater). or she will say, why didn’t you just leave? i say i couldn’t. i was scared what she would do to me. and then say have you ever had an ex like that? she will say well i did. he turned out to be a jerk because xyz but i just dumped him. i’ll say “oh so when you feel like a relationship is no longer working, you’ll just dump them?” then i know she’s never cheated before. sh1t like that. maybe this is just me but i like to get to know the girls im sleeping with. i cant relate to guys that just talk about surface level things. maybe that is just the scorpio in me haha

 

[Bigpapa]

It’s just how human interactions works. You share something and then people will try to relate by sharing something that’s relevant to what you just said.

if i want to find out if she’s cheated before. i don’t directly ask if she’s cheated. because she will just lie because she’ll think i’ll judge her for cheating. but if we are on the topic of exs. and i mention how my ex was really controlling and i felt trapped in the relationship. and then i began talking to this girl from work. and she was like a total fresh of breath air and how i inviting her over one night and we slept together and how i did not feel guilty about it. she will either share a relevant story about any of her exs and how she cheated on him for xyz reason (she just revealed she’s a cheater). or she will say, why didn’t you just leave? i say i couldn’t. i was scared what she would do to me. and then say have you ever had an ex like that? she will say well i did. he turned out to be a jerk because xyz but i just dumped him. i’ll say “oh so when you feel like a relationship is no longer working, you’ll just dump them?” then i know she’s never cheated before. sh1t like that. maybe this is just me but i like to get to know the girls im sleeping with. i cant relate to guys that just talk about surface level things. maybe that is just the scorpio in me haha

Yeah, I get it. It is smart

How about if you want to get an idea about the body count?

you talk about a dark period of yours when you would party and stuff, or have a different approach?

 

[Velasco]

How about if you want to get an idea about the body count?

you talk about a dark period of yours when you would party and stuff, or have a different approach?

you could do that but honestly most of the time they start that conversation about body count. i just say my honest number. so they have no reason to lie about theirs. still sometimes inexperienced young girls will say a higher number than it actually is just that you will think they are cool too (they don’t know that inexperience is actually more valuable to men)

 

[CBear]

Yeah, I get it. It is smart

How about if you want to get an idea about the body count?

you talk about a dark period of yours when you would party and stuff, or have a different approach?

Its all about perception. Thats why appearing non-judgmental is the way to go. Had one girl tell me 30 and she thought that wasnt a lot. If shes talking about past boyfriends or experiences for whatever reason, thats your opportunity to naturally compare and contrast and get to the number. Its all about leading and weaving the conversation to get the information that you want out of someone naturally. It takes a lot of socialization to get good at it without it being awkward. Plenty of times they volunteer the information. My wife told me very early on that she was a virgin as an fyi, without me bringing it up. But remember not to take their word for it. Judge their behaviors to see if it correlates with what they say. Thats the issue most guys have. Theyre logical and take someone's word. If a woman has a low body count but posts questionable pictures on social media, has a lot of guy friends, crushes on every celebrity, goes out clubbing/bar hopping often, what does that behavior tell you. If her word and action correlate, then you can be rest assured that youre getting the right information.

 

[Bigpapa]

you could do that but honestly most of the time they start that conversation about body count. i just say my honest number. so they have no reason to lie about theirs. still sometimes inexperienced young girls will say a higher number than it actually is just that you will think they are cool too (they don’t know that inexperience is actually more valuable to men)

I do not think I was ever asked what is my body count

I am usually asked things like if this what I do with all the girls ( if I sleep with them fast ) or how come I am single ( if I sleep with them at date 2-4 )

but I always took them as attainability sh1t tests rather than anything else. Maybe I am wrong?

They would tell me about past relationships on their own, but never asked them directly about their body count. Maybe here makes more sense to start expanding the subject?

 

[Velasco]

My wife told me very early on that she was a virgin as an fyi, without me bringing it up. But remember not to take their word for it.

that’s funny bc my girlfriend voluntarily revealed she was a virgin too without me asking.

If a woman has a low body count but posts questionable pictures on social media, has a lot of guy friends, crushes on every celebrity, what does that behavior tell you. If her word and action correlate, then you can be rest assured that youre getting the right information

what she does on social media is irrelevant to what her body count is. a lot of full on wh0res don’t post any thirst traps at all. young girls today are far more scandalous than the previous millennials i grew up with but far less sexually experienced. the way i confirmed she was a virgin was by actually having sex with her. seeing how she had no idea what she was doing and how she didn’t even know how to arch her back the correct way girls whoever had sex before, do when you put them in the doggy position.

 

[Clockwerk50]

If anything, the main mistakes your friend made were moving too fast and raw dogging her extremely early in the relationship.

Also, I’m not sure sex is really the hill you want to die on here. Your story is a good example of why you should vet partners, maintain boundaries, and do your due diligence before committing to someone, but I’m not sure there’s much of an argument here for “casual sex is the devil’s doing.” LOL

 

[Bigpapa]

seeing how she had no idea what she was doing and how she didn’t even know how to arch her back the correct way girls whoever had sex before, do when you put them in the doggy position.

Yeah, that is a solid clue to get an idea about how sexually experienced a woman is

 

[CBear]

If anything, the main mistakes your friend made were moving too fast and raw dogging her extremely early in the relationship.

Also, I’m not sure sex is really the hill you want to die on here. Your story is a good example of why you should vet partners, maintain boundaries, and do your due diligence before committing to someone, but I’m not sure there’s much of an argument here for “casual sex is the devil’s doing.” LOL

Don't disagree at all. Look at my replies above. But I was well aware that some people would take this as sex is bad even though I never stated that. Don't really understand why you'd quote a statement that wasn't mentioned in the original post. Thats a case of jumping to conclusions or taking it personally for some reason.

 

[CBear]

that’s funny bc my girlfriend voluntarily revealed she was a virgin too without me asking.

what she does on social media is irrelevant to what her body count is. a lot of full on wh0res don’t post any thirst traps at all. young girls today are far more scandalous than the previous millennials i grew up with but far less sexually experienced. the way i confirmed she was a virgin was by actually having sex with her. seeing how she had no idea what she was doing and how she didn’t even know how to arch her back the correct way girls whoever had sex before, do when you put them in the doggy position.

No but they're small clues that can help someone understand the big picture.

But yes, if she says shes a virgin but eats your @$$ confidently the first time you bed her then you know somethings up lol.