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STR8UP

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Originally posted by Transformer:
In the end, she still wants to control him at all costs.
Am I the only one that caught this?

Sounds a little like "My marriage is wonderful because she has me by the balls and I like it that way." Doesn't seem very Christian to keep your significant other in a cage.

Doesn't sound like a life I would enjoy living. To each his own.
 

studmuffin15

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i was thinking more about this topic tonite and it really has become obvious that marriage is for the woman >> just look at the ceremony!

all little girls dream of being brides one day...do little boys dream of being grooms? nah, they are too busy dreaming of important things - hitting a grand slam in the world series, scoring an OT goal in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals.

look at all the preparation that goes into the actual ceremony on the bride's end... shopping for gowns, hair and nails, shoes, the list goes on and on. what does the groom do? swings by his local formal shop and RENTS...RENTS...RENTS...his clothes. and then nonchalantly returns them for good after the ceremony is over.

LOL the brides father SHOULD pay for the wedding...his child is the one who requires it!
 

Inspector Clouseau

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Last weekend I went to my 24 yr-old sister's wedding. I was forced to observe the women go through all their preparations, going through all the nitty gritty details; they were entrenched in following tradition. It made me sick. I sat there thinking "Yet for all this, the guys are probably simply hanging around, sitting watching the television and checking their watches." While I labored through photo shoots, I noticed and kept on thinking about one thing: marriage is the invention of woman.


Clouseau
 

Sting

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Originally posted by STR8UP:
Am I the only one that caught this?

Sounds a little like "My marriage is wonderful because she has me by the balls and I like it that way." Doesn't seem very Christian to keep your significant other in a cage.

Doesn't sound like a life I would enjoy living. To each his own.
Couldn't agree with you more. For all of Greg's "Christian wisdom," he has accepted the fact that his wife wants to control him -- and he probably lets her do so for the most part. Why???

The answer is that he hasn't compromised on certain things, he has *conceded* them. Marriage is supposed to be built on trust, but it isn't. If it was, a wife would never think to ask where her husband was when he was out with the guys. Indeed, she wouldn't have a problem with her husband going out with the guys. Think about it, if the shoe were on the other foot, and the husband asked where his wife was when she was out with "the girls," he would be accused of trying to *control* her. Smells like a double-standard to me.

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It could happen to you, just like it happened to me, there is simply no immunity, there's no guarantee...
 

neuromancer

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I get more cynical by the day.

Why not an annual vacation to Rio de Janeiro - and have a great time with the 'amateur' women who hang out at the infamous Help disco?

Saves a lot of trouble.

Originally posted by Sting:
Couldn't agree with you more. For all of Greg's "Christian wisdom," he has accepted the fact that his wife wants to control him -- and he probably lets her do so for the most part. Why???

The answer is that he hasn't compromised on certain things, he has *conceded* them. Marriage is supposed to be built on trust, but it isn't. If it was, a wife would never think to ask where her husband was when he was out with the guys. Indeed, she wouldn't have a problem with her husband going out with the guys. Think about it, if the shoe were on the other foot, and the husband asked where his wife was when she was out with "the girls," he would be accused of trying to *control* her. Smells like a double-standard to me.

 

CLOONEY

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"Note, incidentally, that by the time October rolls around, corn silk is shriveled and brown" This is true, but at the same time so are you!!! What else are you gonna do when you are sixty, you still could live for another 30 YEARS!!!!!!!!!! F*ck that is a Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg time!!!! And what exactly are you going to be doing, Djing some other granny?? hahahahahah!!!! What will you do all day, you will have NO KIDS, you will be going to hardly ANY weddings, or other family social gatherings!!!! you will miss a lot of people in your life!!!!!! (Parents will be dead, same as Aunties uncles, grandparents!!! There will be no friends of the kids and no "wife" or "husband" of your kids to meet!!!!! You will sit around ALL day and wonder, what if I had of married that girl who was just "perfect" for me, but she left cause I was soooooooo scared of committment!!! You will have no-one to care for you when you are sick!!!!

Plus what is so wrong with going home and argueing!!!???? This is a part of life, and without it how boring life would be!!! There are happy marriages around, you just have to find the right girl, and yes sometimes that CAN be a gamble!!! But I think that about 51% of marriages would be made up of people who were getting to that age where they were "meant" to marry. Or they were pressured into it!!! Take your time, find the right girl and you could be happily in love for the rest of your life!! It DOES happen and I will ALWAYS beleive in it!!!!

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Life is a game....PLAY IT!!
 

Big N

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Take your time, find the right girl and you could be happily in love for the rest of your life!!
That statement could be true with or without marriage.
 

Pook

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Time for another 'annoying' long post

Why some of the marriages fail

The problem is not marriage; it is the woman you marry. BE PICKY. Figure out YOURSELF and what YOU WANT and GO GET IT. Aim for similiar life views. (Many kids in college aren't doing this, and we know what happens to them...)

Often, the woman gets married too young. All her girlfriends are going to parties, having fun, and she is stuck with a husband and duties. Oh, if she could only have fun!

There is a feminine mindset (in both men and women, but most frequently in women), that marriage is a great achievement, as if they are the only ones doing it. A woman considers that her getting married means she is being 'successful'; she is moving up that female aristocracy ladder. Now she gets to have a wedding and be 'princess' for a day!

The guy marries because he is tired... so tired... He cannot stand being single and cannot endure the trials of life. He jumps at is as an armadillo does in front of my car when I flatten it!

Be a Man! Be independent! Follow that passion of divinity within you to satisfy your ambition and idealism.

Many guys cannot do this. They think like women and so die never being men.

(The divorce rate was highest during World War II, yes, that 'greatest generation'. Society is NOT changing; we share more things with the past then we would dare admit.)

Who Invented Marriage?

I have to disagree with Jake Steed on this one (first time for everything!). MEN created the institution of marriage.

It is common to think of weddings and marriages as one of the same. But they are seperate and have different origins. The wedding is merely a societal event, a celebration. It was to be more of a community event (remember how closely knit communities were back then, how the community was all). To say that weddings were invented by women, I would agree. But marriage? No.

Women are entirely sexual creatures. Turning from this present widening gyre, the falcon can no longer hear the falconer. The feminists have seeked revolution but women cannot create revolution, only chaos. Thus, anarchy has been unleashed unto the world.

The unfaithfulness of women is nothing new. Simply read the introduction to Arabian Nights. The Sultan, realizing the unfaithfulness of all women, decides to sleep with one per night and kill her the next day. The savior of women comes and tells 'stories' to the Sultan. He doesn't kill her because he wants to know how the story ends. Thus, women survive through the stories. We make the stories, our idealizations and all makes tales of the woman. Dante turns Beautrice into the Divine Comedy. A poet turns a woman into poetry. A painter, paintings. And so on.

But the point is that women, being entirely sexual, are locked within a prism of society. They would freely sleep with any guy of their fancy but the 'slut' and 'reputation' factor all come in. Thanks to this, women are bounded.

Men created marriage to bind the woman to her. The deeper you go in the religions and ancient philosophies, one will be struck by the 'mysgnomy'. But there is truth in it.

"No! Women created marriage to tie up the Man!"

Women wouldn't need marriage. They have sex to use. And what do women want? Either they want pleasure or they want to be a mother. Marriage has nothing to do with either. Women can leash guys just through sex.(Thus, many women do not see marriage; they merely see the wedding. When you start to talk to her about the 'marriage/relationship', she will start talking to you about the wedding!)

-It is women more then men who cheat (though, to be fair, this might be because they have more opportunities)

-It is women more then men who initiate divorce.

Many women can't stand it. Monagamy is more against their instincts then ours. No one would deny institutions like the state, science, and all are MALE created. But so is marriage. Women are like the centaurs; they ride the beast through this world. They must be bounded.

Societal Marriage

The legal laws concerning marriage nowdays are awful and need to change immediately.

But let us not confuse LEGAL MARRIAGE with the SOCIETAL MARRIAGE. LEGAL MARRIAGE is whatever the government says. SOCIETAL MARRIAGE comes from the community, a public face on the union.

In older times, religious laws (that formed the community) would of course be used to 'lawfully' wed the couple. If you found a woman that you love and all, stay with her and all, that is, basically, marriage. LEGALLY it may not be, but it is marriage.

Do not confuse the legal problems with marriage itself. Having a life partner can be very rewarding.

Saying "I won't get married" but will have a life partner, you mean "I won't get the government's legal claws into me, but I will have a life partner, to marry (used in the oldest sense).

You guys wouldn't be happy just going from one chick to another forever. Remember, you do not live to Don Juan; you Don Juan to live!

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POOK
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"As you think, you shall become."

"Impossible scenarios are ingeniusly disguised as opportunties."
 

STR8UP

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Originally posted by Pook:

Who Invented Marriage?

I have to disagree with Jake Steed on this one (first time for everything!). MEN created the institution of marriage.
I DON'T know who created marriage.

I DO know that if it were not for the church and government things would be different.

The church promotes marriage to satisfy it's requirement for a "moral" society.

The state promotes marriage to combat the problem of dealing with supporting mothers and illegitimate children.

Pair bonding in some form would likely continue should organized religion and government both crumble, however, marriage as we know it would be non-existent.
 

Pook

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Originally posted by STR8UP:
I DON'T know who created marriage.

I DO know that if it were not for the church and government things would be different.

The church promotes marriage to satisfy it's requirement for a "moral" society.

The state promotes marriage to combat the problem of dealing with supporting mothers and illegitimate children.

Pair bonding in some form would likely continue should organized religion and government both crumble, however, marriage as we know it would be non-existent.
Yes, the State and Church came out of nowhere and created all this! Or perhaps there is more to this then we can dare imagine, that its roots run deep to the dawn of Human Nature. For we see what we want to see, and reassemble the facts to fit our idealogy.

For the state, its involvement probably came from the rising communities and adopted their practice until it became an embedded within the law itself.

For the church, the root goes into the fight against paganism and well before that. It's mysterious. There are more questions then answers.

Society is not an artificial thing. It is bound by natural laws that not even legal laws, at times, can defy. Obviously the pattern of marriage/family/etc. exists in our nature for a reason. Even without religion or state, we would still marry just as we would still have funerals. Now, they might be supersituous. We might be praying to a Fertility God to grace the couple. We might sacrifice a cow for the cermemony. But the vacuum seems to always be filled with something.

Marriage doesn't seem to be some type of 'device' placed over Mankind. It seems to come naturally, independent of religion or state, and persists through the ages for some reason. My guess is that men are using it to keep women from embracing their true nature.

Here's another example: where did the concept of maiden come from? (virgin until marriage?) Did women invent it? Hell no! Chasity is an unnatural state for women. But they only endured it for US, because that is what men demanded. Why did men demand it? Maybe because they realized she couldn't truly be his if she acted like a wh#re. Maybe it was to ensure all the childen are his up to the marriage. There are lots of possibilities.

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POOK
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"As you think, you shall become."

"Impossible scenarios are ingeniusly disguised as opportunties."
 

Inspector Clouseau

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I read a piece by famed anthropologist Desmond Morris, that if you look at tribes unaffected by modern society, thus a good marker of what may have been back in primitive times, marriage was an allocation system. Men, on the hunt, needed to trust one another and be one collective hunting group; that if the men slept with multiple women, jealousies would quickly ensue, crumbling the hunting group. Women, on the other hand, needed a man to look forward to coming back from the hunt. Hence, the need of marriage.
Saying "I won't get married" but will have a life partner, you mean "I won't get the government's legal claws into me, but I will have a life partner, to marry (used in the oldest sense).
Yes, precisely the sentiment.
You guys wouldn't be happy just going from one chick to another forever.
True, however it is hoped that it is to be found a good woman with equal mindset of not getting married. Over time, the age of marrying has grown older, to the point there is a growing trend of people, man and woman alike, electing to skip legal bounds of marriage altogether.


Clouseau

[This message has been edited by Inspector Clouseau (edited 08-25-2002).]
 

mistyc

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Not to be pedantic..

oh heck, I'll be pedantic.


I would like Pook to learn the difference between THEN and THAN


Thank you Pook.
 

BocaJoe

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I also think that age and the examples our parents set has a lot to do with failed marriages. I am 33, my parents grew up in the 50's, as did most of my friends'. To our parents, the way to live their lives was to marry their high school or college sweethearts, get a job with good benefits and a pension, and live happily ever after. They got married right out of college because they were taught to do that by their parents.

They set the example for my generation. The problem is that with my generation and the younger generation, life is more complicated than it was in the 50's and 60's. Four of my friends got married right out of college -2 are still going strong, 2 have failed. My friends had this to say about their first marriages:

#1: I got married because of the sex.
#2: I got married because it was the next logical thing to to after college.

How many 20 somethings now come from broken homes? It is their norm to expect to be married at least twice in one lifetime. It is also their norm to change careers 5 or 6 times in their lives. Times change. Our mindsets change with it.
 

STR8UP

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Good info, Inspector.

Marriage was a practical and logical arrangement in ancient times, maybe even up until the last few decades.

Now that woman can support herself and potentially support a child the idea of marriage as we know it is antiquated.

As a side note, I am not opposed to marriage. As a bachelor of 31 yrs it will, however, take a helluva woman to put her chains on me.
 

Sir_Chancealot

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All right guys, let's cut through the psychological bullsh*t and anthropological crap, for that is what this "theorizing" is all about.

First, straight to the point: MEN AND WOMEN BOTH DESIRE MARRIAGE.

Second point: MARRIAGE CIVILIZES MEN. If not for the concept of marriage, women would be property. (note: see how bikers treat their women. You can f*ck their women, but you'd BETTER NOT touch their bikes).

Third point: UNSELFISH women are naturally faithful. Selfish women are not. The same goes with men.

Fourth point: If a man had a harem that he could bang every day (without moral/legal/ethical consequences), HE WOULDN'T GET MARRIED!!!!!! Also note this: Women can get laid, should they choose, in about 10 minutes.

Fifth point: Men tend to become LESS selfish in marriage, women tend to become MORE selfish in marriage.

Sixth point: What they did in ancient times, is totally f*cking irrelevant to what is going on today.

Seventh point: If, perchance, you should ever actually meet a GOOD woman, you will see what I have said is the truth.

Eighth point: Divorces CLIMBED during the war, but the early-mid forties didn't have "the highest divorce rate".

Nineth point: You can NEVER make a woman happy. As proof, have you EVER heard a woman say "This guy is perfect" or "He's a really great guy" WITHOUT the words "but" or "except"? I haven't, and I'd be willing to bet that you haven't either. As soon as everything is "perfect" for a woman, she will want it to change. You cannot please a woman (overall) so you'd be better off to do whatever it is that you do.

Ten: A GOOD woman will be a blessing to a man. A bad woman will be a horror.

Enough of my rant now.
 

ShortTimer

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Originally posted by Pook:
Here's another example: where did the concept of maiden come from? (virgin until marriage?) Did women invent it? Hell no! Chasity is an unnatural state for women. But they only endured it for US, because that is what men demanded. Why did men demand it? Maybe because they realized she couldn't truly be his if she acted like a wh#re. Maybe it was to ensure all the childen are his up to the marriage. There are lots of possibilities.
It's mommies baby, but it's daddies MAYBE. I think that's where maidens came from: men's desire to raise there OWN offspring. To me it would seem like a violation down to my DNA if I found out all of my wife's children weren't mine (if I ever marry).
 

Varnon

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Hey a fellow transfan!

You guys are all wrong, unless somebody said this and I skipped it because I'm to lazy to read all of it.

Marrige was not invented by women.
There is a reason for marrage.
People get married when they need someone.
Men need too, not just women.

(hold on)
the truth of course is, you don't need someone, and of course most people never figure that out. Its really not about gender it about attitude. Yeah women are a bit more likely to have that attitude but plenty of guys have it too.

So I say get married when you need to have someone else to make you life worth while.
 

JUST ME

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its very very hard to find a chick that works in the relationship or marraige these days...ever notice this guys?


remember they used to say the woman supposedly always tried to keep the relationship together?

women today are soo lazy and very selfish and controlling, in mt opinion and experience..and the older they get(I am 29), the more ****ed up and selfish they get!
 
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