B
BeDJ
Guest
Lol, that's what I'm doing right now.Peaks&Valleys said:
I was thinking - if a chick is terrible at b|owjobs than she hasn't been through that many d!cks.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I was thinking - if a chick is terrible at b|owjobs than she hasn't been through that many d!cks.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
B
BeDJ
Guest
I went drinking with my uncle for the first time last night. He did not have a dime to his name and is currently looking for a job. He had a good job about 10 years ago, pulling 80K and quit. I always thought that he had given up on life after a break up with his 10 year LTR.
Yesterday, he told me that he was the one to call it off. The reason why he quit his job was because my grandmother had cancer and he wanted to take care of her full time. She passed away 5 years ago. He continued to take care of my grandfather who, at the moment could not talk. They paid my uncle $200 a month to "help" him. Now, they are not paying $1500 for the retirement home. My other aunts and uncles took this as an advantage to move my grandfather from the house he stayed in for 30 years to a retirement home. This led to my uncle who dedicated the past 10 years to take care of my grandfather til his last breath, homeless.
My other uncles and aunts try so fvcking hard to live that american dream that they lose site of all responsibilities. My grandma's last dying words to my uncle was - Don't trust your sister. My uncle told me that if he ever made it big again, he would pay off my mom's house and my sister's. At the end of the day, people are after their own agenda, even your own family.
I hope he gets another shot, he was using the public library's computer to send out resumes. I gave him my laptop when we parted ways.
Yesterday, he told me that he was the one to call it off. The reason why he quit his job was because my grandmother had cancer and he wanted to take care of her full time. She passed away 5 years ago. He continued to take care of my grandfather who, at the moment could not talk. They paid my uncle $200 a month to "help" him. Now, they are not paying $1500 for the retirement home. My other aunts and uncles took this as an advantage to move my grandfather from the house he stayed in for 30 years to a retirement home. This led to my uncle who dedicated the past 10 years to take care of my grandfather til his last breath, homeless.
My other uncles and aunts try so fvcking hard to live that american dream that they lose site of all responsibilities. My grandma's last dying words to my uncle was - Don't trust your sister. My uncle told me that if he ever made it big again, he would pay off my mom's house and my sister's. At the end of the day, people are after their own agenda, even your own family.
I hope he gets another shot, he was using the public library's computer to send out resumes. I gave him my laptop when we parted ways.
Purefilth
Master Don Juan
That took me on a feels trip.BeDJ said:
Seriously - I have a lot of respect for that mans humanity. I Wish him luck - If that does any good in the real world.
B
BeDJ
Guest
Third week sober, longest I've been since entering college. I had a drinking problem and know it's going to be awhile until I can take another sip.
At the moment, life is good.
At the moment, life is good.
Peaks&Valleys
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2013
- Messages
- 1,956
- Reaction score
- 355
Nice brotha.BeDJ said:
Do what you gotta do. One life to live, make it a good one.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Wolfgang D
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2011
- Messages
- 240
- Reaction score
- 23
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!
(I can recite this one by heart in fifty seconds. Just because it's fun!)
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!
(I can recite this one by heart in fifty seconds. Just because it's fun!)