"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Someone Please Kick My Ass

onemorerobot

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ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! I am a freakin jackass. I finally have the perfect moment to ask for this girl's phone number and I **bleep**ing blew it. I'm so pissed at myself right now. Why God? Why do I **bleep** balls so much? She obviously likes me, so why can't I get up the nerve to just ask her??? I need a swift kick to the face and balls. Who's first in line?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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onyx

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rejection is better than regret...always rememeber that ****
 

Gubby

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Hahaha, man, you care too much. Kicking yourself about won't help. This may be asking for too much.. but you should try thinking of this sh'it as a little less important.

OH NOES I DIDN'T GET LAID. I bit like those last 18x365 days huh? Funny how you've survived that long! EVERYONE knows that more than a fortnight without getting a girl is usually fatal to males!

Do you have a hobby? Possibly a career or school?

Girls define themselves by how well they can attract the opposite sex. Men have bigger fish to fry.
 

onemorerobot

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This has nothing to do with getting laid. I'm not looking to simply bang this girl.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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donjuanjovi

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Stop thinking of all the horrible thing that probably arn't going to happen, and think of the positive things that will come of this if you ask her! Just as quiksilver's sig says "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"
What if hockey players never shot at the net for the fear they may miss and be made fun of by their team mates for a crappy shot?

Just Do It!
 

Gubby

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onemorerobot said:
This has nothing to do with getting laid. I'm not looking to simply bang this girl.
My advice still goes. Replace get laid with "have a super meaningful relationship".

Seriously, you can't muster the balls to do it because you are taking it WAY TOO SERIOUSLY. What's she gonna do? Punch you?

The only remedy for taking oneself too seriously is to laugh at yourself. Go on. Laugh. Don't you look dumb? Think of how ridiculous it all is. Whatever you want to do to this girl it can't be soooo much better than anything else that ever happened to you. You have a favourite restaurant? You like eating there? Do you ever get totally nervous when you're about to go to this restaurant? What if the food takes too long to come? Maybe there could be some accident and the restaurant's closed? WHAT IF THE RESTURANT BURNED DOWN?!

Come on, slap yourself in the face, you know you want to.
 

donjuanjovi

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Gubby said:
What's she gonna do? Punch you?
:box:

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
 

Distant Light

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onemorerobot said:
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! I am a freakin jackass. I finally have the perfect moment to ask for this girl's phone number and I **bleep**ing blew it. I'm so pissed at myself right now. Why God? Why do I **bleep** balls so much? She obviously likes me, so why can't I get up the nerve to just ask her??? I need a swift kick to the face and balls. Who's first in line?
It's not that much of a big deal getting a number doesn't guarantee nothing but if you will never see her again you should've went for a number.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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