You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She ghosted
I've dated quite a few, I mean yeah they have their issues...chief among them many times they have been in terrible relationships prior and literally have something similar to PTSD when things get too serious or you get too close...they freak out, shut down and bail as a defensive mechanism against being hurt again.A blessing in disguise for you. Single mother's are dangerous territory even for seasoned vets.
Sorry man....She ghosted
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Its all good...I have 2 other plates that will gladly take her spot.Sorry man....
Not sure about this....sometime its just like thatIts all good...I have 2 other plates that will gladly take her spot.
What is frustrating to me is that I feel some guys are really good at turning these situations in their favor and I have never ever been able to do that, even after spending tons of time reading and trying to learn how to. I put it into practice and it doesn't work the way it apparently works for others.
I left the door open for her to reinitiate if she chooses. Last text I sent wasNot sure about this....sometime its just like that
Its probably some other guy she wanted to get with long before you had your 1st date with her.
I dated a women about a year ago that was acting a bit weird, asking me to do her favors, waiting for me to call her etc.....
Was thinking more and more of dumping her, one night at her place we are watching netflix and i put the movie on and i see an icon with the tit;e HOW TO BE MESMERIZING AND MAKE A MAN COMMIT TO YOU ....or something.
i did not say anything about it and i dump her a few days later......that **** she was reading was probably the reason i dumped her.
Yeah and i think there is a good chance she will.I left the door open for her to reinitiate if she chooses. Last text I sent was
"Well, it seems like you have a lot going on so I don't want to add to it. Feel free to reach out if things change, take care."
I do hope she reaches back out at some point because she is hot and I want to bang her hahaha.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Oh absolutely not. She is at best FWB after that.Yeah and i think there is a good chance she will.
But i would not look for anything more than that.
The way she did this tells me she is not quality
Yeah I mean I am not worried about it, I just don't really get it but whatever, its her life she can live it however she chooses.Many time we are doing brain surgery trying to understand her mysterious motive for her ghosting when the answer is so much simpler then what we think.
For example:
Maybe she didn't like your D size
Maybe she didn't like your hairy Ass
Maybe she didn't like how your balls smelled.
maybe, maybe, maybe,,,,
Many time when I asked a woman why she did what she did, her answer was so much simpler than what I anticipated, that most of the time I missed the mark by mills from her real resonse.
My conclusion is never trying to understand why they doing what they doing, B'cos most of the time you will be wrong. Lol
If she ghosted and it's not something obvious like a big fight and as such, just chill out and wait. If you like, send her a text inviting her out, (no rule is the best rule ) behaving as you didn't even notice her silly ghosting. If she comes back, good, if she doesn't, move on.
The point is, not to complicate something that should be very simple by overthinking it.
There was no butt hurt message sent. Simply letting her know to reach out if things change. I am not chasing her or anyone else around.I understand you want to know why she's disappeared but...
Instead of wasting hours trying to guess why she acts the way she acts, posting here, etc. you should have been doing whatever else.
If you get this obsessed over just two dates, your inner game needs improvement.
If she is gone, she's not interested in you. And if she's not interested in you, you should not be wasting your time with this woman.
P.S.
Your butthurt messages to her are a very bad move.
They actually diminish her attraction to you.
Don't send these kind of messages ever again, silence or something ****y/funny (caution with this) are the best options.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.