"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Solo pretty boy ?
- Thread starter PrettyBoyAJ
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
BeDJ
Guest
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Purefilth
Master Don Juan
Dedication
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2008
- Messages
- 321
- Reaction score
- 11
Dating a girl for 8 months and she is already his Fiancé at the age of 22? He's a grown man but he's not making grown ass mans decisions...
Making mistakes is something i can understand, but still letting emotions rule your world screams CHUMP! To me.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
we all make mistakesDedication said:
i'll say this; when i was 22 i had been on this site for 3 years and PBAJ is light years ahead of where i was at that age
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
My crazy ex used to fight me all the time and i used to grab her wrist and pin her on the bed until she calmed down. She would then proceed to bite and spit so i positioned our faces next to each other so she couldn't move it and mimicked her head movements so i couldn't get bitten or spit on.
You don't reason with someone who's gone mad/ape sh1t crazy, from my experience as it doesn't work. If there were just angry a bit and not throwing a tantrum then reasoning might work but in that instance for any person you don't try and reason. Fighting fire with fire also doesn't work either unless you want each other to get hurt (you went overboard with choking and hitting her back). It shows you lost frame and couldn't control yourself or your woman. You can either let them vent while your there and just not react at all (emotionally or physically) or the better bet is to just leave.
The goal is to let them cool down and become a reasonable person, and it's best to let them happen while your away so you don't have crazy sh1t happen to you.
-----
The relationship seems like it's beyond repair at this point. You've lost your frame multiple times by compromising yourself for her when she's given little to deserve it and letting her make you angry. On top of that, you didn't stand your ground against your own decisions and went back and apologized to her. Apologies, also from my experience show weakness of character because you feel the need to please the other person. If you're wrong, you most likely know it, and apology isn't going to fix that. I'll apologize if i know the relationship is over and i'll use it as a way to have an amiable parting.
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
Right now I'm looking stupid as anything. I moved back to this country town to be with her because she was doing school. She had planned on transferring in August to Georgia State and me and her were going to get an apartment together. Now she is talking about going back to this country school in August.
and I'm still wanting to move in Atlanta in the next three months. I'm looking so dumb right now. I have a job in this country town and everything. I don't know if I want to get this apartment in Atlanta without her or just live out here and when she comes back in August hope everything works out.
and don't worry. No matter what I refuse to react to her craziness anymore. Even though provoked, touching her was not the right thing to do.
But at that point what does apologizing do for you. It doesn't help you regain the frame, all it does is weaken your image in her eyes (i'm assuming your apologizing was in regards to texting the girl as the choking part has already destroyed the relationship). Your phone is your own personal business, you pay for it, so you manage it (don't let anyone say otherwise). You didn't even cheat on her, just texted. There was no need to explain yourself there.
Relationships are all about power plays like Game of Thrones or House of Cards. You never break you're frame even if you're wrong. Even if you did cheat, i'd rather acknowledge and play down the apology then to crawl back and beg her to come back.
"Yes, it happened. It wasn't something i planned. It was my mistake and it can't be undone."
I'd stand my ground there and ask her how she'd want to proceed. If you break the frame at this crucial of a point it will only go downhill there so i'd rather give her the opportunity to walk away if she can't accept it.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
If she can forget about it and move on from the situation then I'm down for it. If not then theres nothing more that I can do other then that. Probably find a video game to play to pass up my time or something. lol
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
now every time you stay out a little late you are with 'that b!tch'. been there, wrote the book. on top of that you've handed her a get out of jail free card. if she's immature enough to beat teh **** out of you i assure you she's going to use that get out of jail free card. she probably won't set OUT to cheat but it never works like that. cute guy at school, all the friends go out for harmless drinks, one thing leads to antoher he lays his mack down, she says **** it, he did it why can't it. see in her mind, you ****ed her lol. there is nothing that you will ever do or say that will convince her otherwise.
she will never trust you again and you in turn are going to be overly protective. In a nutshell the frame of the relationship is lost you can't repair frame. it's done son.
I mean if you want to spin plates, spin the **** out of some plates. I'm all for it. but when you are in a LTR, this is all it takes buddy. it's over. This is why you spin plates to make sure that the girl that you end up dating is a girl you still want to exclusively **** 8 months later.
Dedication
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2008
- Messages
- 321
- Reaction score
- 11
As a DJ, you shouldn't be done talking about 'the situation'. You should be done with HER! Any kind of relationship with her, as friends or more/less is going to weigh you as a person down. No DJ would let another man or women weigh him down and that is why you should not engage with her ever again. And **** video games right now, of all the things you could be doing, playing video games should NOT be on the list.PrettyBoyAJ said:
I'm probably a ranting mother****er in your eyes, but people who are reading your **** know you are STILL ****ing up CURRENTLY! The thing is that its not about past mistakes, because as BB pointed out that we all make those, its about the fact that you are currently living out a mistake. Every choice you have made is the wrong choice as a DJ.
Who the **** do you want to be anyway? Maybe i'm taking the wrong approach because it appears to me that you want to become a *****whiped husband. If that actually is your dream and goal in life then i'm not helping you. Then i'm only posting this for people in similar situations as you but who do want to become a DJ.
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
I work 50+ hours a week anyway. Just going to focus on stacking my paper (BTW in 2 and a half months I've made 13,000 with this dealership). I need to focus more on work and take it seriously so I can move up to a manager.
Learn to keep your emotions in check and work on your anger management.
And remember: you might act violent in self-defense but, as soon as the waterworks begin on her part, you will always be the "abuser" in the eyes of the courtroom.
Better to avoid confrontation and potential litigation in this heavily fem-centric system...
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.