long story short, i meet a girl about a month ago at a party back home. Only hung out with her then and at another party a couple days later, but after talking to her here and there she came to visit me at school which is a 250 mile drive. after she left i get a text basically saying she wanted to date me but it wouldnt work because of the distance. I agree, but would still like to keep options open, and honestly if we lived closer i wouldnt hesitate to get exclusive with her, shes one of the better ones for sure. any advise on what to tell her to keep an open relationship?
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
so this girl wants to date me, except we live too far apart.
- Thread starter jvick
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
splinterkb
Master Don Juan
You just said you can't date her because of the distance.. so I don't get what you're trying say... an open relationship still means its a relationship and it'll still be long distance.
i know, im kinda conflicted on this one heh. i know long distance relationships hardly ever work out, but at the same time my gut is telling me to go for it. part of it is that ive never been in a ldr, so i dont have first hand experience of it going bad. we'll see, ill sleep on it and figure it out tomorrowsplinterkb said:You just said you can't date her because of the distance.. so I don't get what you're trying say... an open relationship still means its a relationship and it'll still be long distance.
splinterkb
Master Don Juan
I could see a long distance relationship working if you guys were together at the start and for a bit and then it turned into a long distance.. but just starting out at one sounds like you guys would have a hard time getting to know eachother... and if you've never had one.. it sucks not being able to see the girl when you want to.
Text her back: "You're right, it wouldn't work because of the distance. Next time you are in town give me a call and we'll go dance at the best bar in town."jvick said:long story short, i meet a girl about a month ago at a party back home. Only hung out with her then and at another party a couple days later, but after talking to her here and there she came to visit me at school which is a 250 mile drive. after she left i get a text basically saying she wanted to date me but it wouldnt work because of the distance. I agree, but would still like to keep options open, and honestly if we lived closer i wouldnt hesitate to get exclusive with her, shes one of the better ones for sure. any advise on what to tell her to keep an open relationship?
Dude, she's already said no the relationship because of the distance and you are forcing the issue, almost begging her to accept an open relationship. You have made your intentions known that you want to sleep with her and she has refused. You have to let her come to YOU now.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
ya i can totally see that. however in the context of other stuff she said i get the vibe shes fishing for a ldr without explicitly saying it, expecting/hoping ill initiate it. i dont think i will though, with some other stuff she did im sorta over the whole thing.DonJuan11 said:Text her back: "You're right, it wouldn't work because of the distance. Next time you are in town give me a call and we'll go dance at the best bar in town."
Dude, she's already said no the relationship because of the distance and you are forcing the issue, almost begging her to accept an open relationship. You have made your intentions known that you want to sleep with her and she has refused. You have to let her come to YOU now.