"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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so there's this girl at my work I like...no clue how to say hi.

MascaraSnake

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I work at a food stand and make the food, she works at a separate register fairly far from it. She never looks over towards us, but I'm finding it a little hard to stop looking towards her (this isn't constant, but she's right there, front and to the left).

And she can tell I've been looking, I know it. Often times I'll shoot a gaze in her general direction (seeing if any customers are coming, whatever) and she'll make one of those instinctive head-pans towards me as if it's a reflex.

I've come up to her off duty and ordered food to gauge her reaction. Here was today's:

*walk up with food*
Me: Hey, what's up?
Her: (NO RESPONSE. She just scans my card.)
Me: ...
Her: That'll be 1.25.
Me: OK, have a good one.
Her: (no response)

She is very good looking, but a more quiet good looking: she's obviously not the loud girl in her group. This is killing me, since I tend to date blazing extroverts and I make conversation with EVERYONE.

At this point I'm convinced I'm just the leering weirdo at her workplace, but is there any way I can at least break the ice here? Damage might have already been done.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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trickerp

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compliment her on something, ex: i like your hair, and then draw it back with something like "but it doesnt match with your dress" if shes worth it she'll giggle, if not she'll just continue doing w/e she's doing.
 

betheman

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*walk up with food*
Me: Hey, what's up?
Her: (NO RESPONSE. She just scans my card.)
Me: ...
Her: That'll be 1.25.
Me: sorry?
Her: That'll be 1.25.
Me:how much extra for a smile?
Her: That'll be 1.25.
Me: so 2:50 then?
at this point she might get awkward, if she does give her the money and next!
if she engages then tease her about how hard it was to get a smile out of someone who naturally wants to smile but is truing to resist, why is she doing that? she is letting you down etc..
 

bluenorther

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I decided this is going to be my basic pickup line:

"Hey, when are you gonna ask me for my phone number?"

Or

"Hey, when are you going to ask me my name?"

Chances are, she'll act all flustered and go "Because I want you to ask first."

Game on.
 

Crissco

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Ide say dont give her the time of day for a little while. Act like your not interested in her one bit.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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