"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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so there's this girl at my work I like...no clue how to say hi.

MascaraSnake

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I work at a food stand and make the food, she works at a separate register fairly far from it. She never looks over towards us, but I'm finding it a little hard to stop looking towards her (this isn't constant, but she's right there, front and to the left).

And she can tell I've been looking, I know it. Often times I'll shoot a gaze in her general direction (seeing if any customers are coming, whatever) and she'll make one of those instinctive head-pans towards me as if it's a reflex.

I've come up to her off duty and ordered food to gauge her reaction. Here was today's:

*walk up with food*
Me: Hey, what's up?
Her: (NO RESPONSE. She just scans my card.)
Me: ...
Her: That'll be 1.25.
Me: OK, have a good one.
Her: (no response)

She is very good looking, but a more quiet good looking: she's obviously not the loud girl in her group. This is killing me, since I tend to date blazing extroverts and I make conversation with EVERYONE.

At this point I'm convinced I'm just the leering weirdo at her workplace, but is there any way I can at least break the ice here? Damage might have already been done.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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trickerp

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compliment her on something, ex: i like your hair, and then draw it back with something like "but it doesnt match with your dress" if shes worth it she'll giggle, if not she'll just continue doing w/e she's doing.
 

betheman

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*walk up with food*
Me: Hey, what's up?
Her: (NO RESPONSE. She just scans my card.)
Me: ...
Her: That'll be 1.25.
Me: sorry?
Her: That'll be 1.25.
Me:how much extra for a smile?
Her: That'll be 1.25.
Me: so 2:50 then?
at this point she might get awkward, if she does give her the money and next!
if she engages then tease her about how hard it was to get a smile out of someone who naturally wants to smile but is truing to resist, why is she doing that? she is letting you down etc..
 

bluenorther

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I decided this is going to be my basic pickup line:

"Hey, when are you gonna ask me for my phone number?"

Or

"Hey, when are you going to ask me my name?"

Chances are, she'll act all flustered and go "Because I want you to ask first."

Game on.
 

Crissco

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Ide say dont give her the time of day for a little while. Act like your not interested in her one bit.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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