So my ex got in touch after 2 weeks No Contact...

GT40

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She’s an ex for a reason. Why is that ?
Meet her on your terms not hers.

Give her a few times your free. If she can’t make it then she’s not too concerned. Next her if that’s the case.
 

oldmanofthesea

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I think you handled it perfectly, on all accounts. You told her what you were and were not willing to accept and you held that frame perfectly.

Her lunch-time suggestion is lame and telling. As you seem to already be aware of, lunch dates are an express ticket to friend-zone. She just wants to probe you and see where you are - see how much you miss her. So you've done the right thing. If seeing you was THAT important to her as she says, she could totally cancel her Friday night plans to see you instead. She could also text you about it instead of F2F talking too. You are doing the right thing NOT canceling your plans on account of her since she's the one who broke it off with you.

If she can't do Friday night, tell her to get in touch in a week or two when her schedule clears up and you can try again to come up with a day/time that works for both of you. But yeah, I doubt this is going to go anywhere. She is most likely just looking for validation to see if you are still an option for her, should she decide she is desperate enough to want you back. Don't mistake her words and frantic texting for actual attraction or interest in YOU. She's frantic because she's not getting that hit of dopamine from the validation she seeks from you, and she might be feeling rejected.

Stay strong. You're doing great.
 

Trump

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I told her, the last night we saw eachother, that 1) I didn’t want to be just friends with her, it’s either we continue or we move on; 2) I thought it best we didn’t stay in touch, but if she ever changes her mind, she can get in touch.

She got angry at this and left.
I wouldn’t have given those ultimatums. If a girl says “let’s just be friends.” you say “OK.” and continue to do the thing you do.

Didn’t hear from her in 2 weeks, until yesterday when she asked me how I am.

I took this as her wanting to see me. I told her “I want to see you. When are you free?”

She tells me all the she’s free.
Woman: “Hey, how are you?”
Man: “Good good. I want to see you. When are you free?”


Little brutal.

For the last hour, I’ve been getting texts from her saying she wants to see me X day at lunch. I keep telling her I can’t because I’m working and can only meet up at night.

She keeps texting “How about X day? I really want to see you” and “What about Saturday night?”

I offered next Friday night because I know I’ll be free... so I’m sticking to it.

What do you guys think?
You came back to her and now she thinks you have no options.

But it’s good you are sticking to Friday. She knows you can do any other day so she will likely push other dates on you. “I wanted to get together but HE was too busy!”
 

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Ojwasguilty

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"Hey sexy. my schedule is pretty full. You can swing by my place on _____ or _____ night."

Anything other than a yes is a no
Well I did ask when she’s free, she told me “tomorrow-Wednesday-Thursday-Friday”

I asked about Friday and she couldn’t make it, so she kept asking if I was free during the (which I’m not).

She asked why I couldn’t do this weekend, I told her I’m picking my dad and sister up, and she’s like “Nothing’s stopping me from coming over Saturday night?”

Whatever. I’m not getting in touch with her to see if she’s coming tonight or not, I’m not bothered. Either she makes the effort, or she won’t see me again. Onus is on her.
 

Danger

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She knows you want her.

She is now successfully keeping you on the line while she gets pounded by other men.

And now you have convinced yourself you are in control.

Tell her it's best to be only friends, that you'll reach out for something soon when your life is less hectic, and then never call or text her again.
 

GT40

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"Hey sexy. my schedule is pretty full. You can swing by my place on _____ or _____ night."

Anything other than a yes is a no
Good reply.
Also if she was good in bed. Spin her as a plate but no relationship drama.
She’s an ex so keep it that way. She already knows you want to rail her. Don’t make it
Obvious.
 

lizardking82

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So your ex got in touch after two weeks no contact, so what? You go telling her "it's either we get back together or I don't wanna be friends". You're like the little puppy waiting there saying "I was waiting for you to come back...". She's just testing the waters. She tested them, still same taste. She's trying to "force" you to make her lose interest on you so that she can get off that little guilt feeling she has for the whole thing and you're helping her like a good boy.

Cut all contact. I tell you, I been in this situation before. When they leave you, they don't wanna feel guilty, so they will make sure to give you all the room to become such a crybaby and emotional and fack up completely so in the end they tell themselves "Well, you have to leave this weak, immature, desperate, optionless man, right? Of course you do, you go girl". That's all it is
 

deaderinred

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^
I disagree. You can want someone back AND have options and not we a desperate crybaby.
If i love someone ill fight for but keep dignity. If it fails, time to move on.
Your advice is for people you dont care about.
 

Alvafe

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Chev.Chelios

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when she starts hearing about the other girls you're fvcking she'll clean her attitude up

<3
 

sazc

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when she starts hearing about the other girls you're fvcking she'll clean her attitude up
So when she sees that there is competition for his affection, time, attention, and d1ck she will fall in line and behave so he will choose her?

This is hallmark behavior of a dysfunctional person, and you guys lap it up.

SMFH

Any woman who is going to respond to a sh1t test like that is LOW quality and will not produce a happy, peaceful and stable relationship long term. You get what you deserve, I guess.
 

shouldbefun

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She knows you want her.

She is now successfully keeping you on the line while she gets pounded by other men.

And now you have convinced yourself you are in control.

Tell her it's best to be only friends, that you'll reach out for something soon when your life is less hectic, and then never call or text her again.
So she breaks the rules for alpha, but keeps the beta in line ?
 
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Danger

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So she breaks the rules for alpha, but keeps the beta in line ?
In essence, yes.

This is what $hit tests are about.

Betas see them as rules of engagement to win the girl.

Alphas don't play by her rules. But she won't risk losing an actual alpha, so her "rules" break easy for them.
 
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