Small talk to something greater at parties.

[TKool]

How do you get past small talk and actually make friends?

 

[Isko]

In a way, you never do. There's no magic lightbulb that flashes when you become friends with someone. You just find yourself talking to them a bit more, and them talking to you more, and the conversation getting more interesting, and one of you might invite the other someplace or start doing things friends do.

If you want to befriend someone, start treating them as a friend, instead of as a stranger. Be more honest and let down your mask a little bit. Joke around. Trust that they like you.

 

[War Against Betaism]

In a way, you never do. There's no magic lightbulb that flashes when you become friends with someone. You just find yourself talking to them a bit more, and them talking to you more, and the conversation getting more interesting, and one of you might invite the other someplace or start doing things friends do.

If you want to befriend someone, start treating them as a friend, instead of as a stranger. Be more honest and let down your mask a little bit. Joke around. Trust that they like you.

Exactly. One way that I get to setting up "hang out" dates is mentioning a good restaurant, and then telling the other people "We should totally go sometime this week!" Exchange numbers and then pull through with the plan if you're really down to networking.

 

[speakeasy]

"Dating" for friends in some ways is similar to dating for girls. True friends are hard to come by and once you hit your late 20s I think it's nearly impossible to make lifelong friends. All my real friends are people that I have already known for 15-20 years already. I meet new people along the way, but they are very transitive. Once the common situation is removed that made us acquainted(such as work), we drift apart. It's not had to make new buddies(activity partners), but only a small number of those buddies stand the test of time and distance and become close people. I think you have to treat it like you do dating for women. You know that you can approach 100 women, maybe 20 of them give you their number. Of those maybe 10 call back and don't flake on a date. Of those maybe 5 make it past more than a few dates. And maybe one becomes a serious girlfriend. I'm just throwing out numbers there, but you get the idea. I think iit works the same with finding friends.

 

[TKool]

So, I just got back from a social event/party and I was invited to a (anti)valentines day party at this guy's house. He says there should be lots of chicks there.

This is my first time at really trying to develop a social life. I've proven to myself that people do like me and I can make friends.

I really would like to have a girlfriend (since I never been in a relationship before). I know girls are big on meeting guys through friends and at parties, so this is the perfect opportunity to meet girls outside of bars/clubs and the internet.

Anybody have tips on how I can chat up a girl at a party and have it lead to something? (preferably a relationship) How do I keep talking to her and not let her slip out without me ever seeing her again?

 

[Ease]

Id probably do something like:

> Open with opener, small talk for <1-2 minutes.

> Tease, something situational, her dress, her hair, something she says, give her a stupid nickname etc.

> Needs to be a sexual/romantic shift in conversation. A sexual tease, CF comment or if getting solid IOI's maybe a push/pull compliment. Needs to be situational and backhanded so as not to be creepy.

If all goes well at this point, after a few minutes of talking, isolate. 'Hey come over here lets sit down', grab her hand/ass/hip/back for kino overkill.

If still going well, then you're in. Kiss close.

 

[TKool]

Id probably do something like:

> Open with opener, small talk for <1-2 minutes.

> Tease, something situational, her dress, her hair, something she says, give her a stupid nickname etc.

> Needs to be a sexual/romantic shift in conversation. A sexual tease, CF comment or if getting solid IOI's maybe a push/pull compliment. Needs to be situational and backhanded so as not to be creepy.

If all goes well at this point, after a few minutes of talking, isolate. 'Hey come over here lets sit down', grab her hand/ass/hip/back for kino overkill.

If still going well, then you're in. Kiss close.

That was kinda how I was thinking. I didn't know small talk was for such a period of time. Sometimes I think I spend way too much time trying to gain rapport.