"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Small Talk - the biggest hurdle to jump

johnballantine02

Don Juan
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Small talk. I think this is a huge obstacle in the path to my success.

I just can't do it. It takes so much effort and strength. I know there are tons of guys out there that don't understand where guys like me are coming from.

It's hard to put it into words, but going up to a complete stranger and talking to them about some boring bull**** and going on and on is really just stupid to me. It's akward, it's lame and it just isn't me.

I can never think of anything poignant to say. Something that really gives a reason for me talking to someone else.


That being said I do workout and I'm in great shape and I am focused on school right now and my life.......but still no girlfriend.


Uhh....Help Please.
Thanks
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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LucidDreamer

Don Juan
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Oct 2, 2004
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rising from the ashes
Pick up Larry King's book on conversation, there was a thread on it at one point, look it up. I actually picked up an ebook on convo last week and it's been helpful.

things like understanding the dynamics of conversation and asking questions -- like asking a close ended question and following up with an open ended question, listening actively and using "free information" to delve deeper into the convo.
 
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