Hey team. I went on 3 dates with a girl. Definite chemistry and a lot of fun. Kissed her on the second date and she came over on the third. We did the deed and she was asking about sleeping over. I told her that I usually don’t do sleep overs this early. She got pretty angry and things got awkward. She ended up calling it a night and left. I tend to not do any sleep overs until there has been a talk regarding exclusivity. What do you all do?
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Sleeping over?
- Thread starter Cavalier
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
FlexpertHamilton
Master Don Juan
I have never quite separated sleepovers from commitment, but I don't tend to do them early on, at least the first few weeks or month or so. Personally I don't like them, but literally 100% of women get indignant about sleepovers after a certain point.
Pierce Manhammer
Moderator
Just make sure to change the linens between plates and look for their hair everywhere…
I don’t mind sleepovers either. But it’s case by case.
I don’t mind sleepovers either. But it’s case by case.
I'm with Howiestern, I have no issue with it. I just tend to shoo them out the door as early as possible come the morning.
Just remember women tend to be upset 'right now'. If she likes you she'll respect it in another moment.
Just remember women tend to be upset 'right now'. If she likes you she'll respect it in another moment.
Hah. I swear redheads are the worst for this!
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
EyeOnThePrize
Master Don Juan
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@Cavalier
That's pretty cold and makes it seem like all you wanted was sex with a random object, since not letting her spend that same night implies you don't like spending time with her as a person at all, and that the dates were just fake shiit to get your diick wet. I think most self respecting women would get upset or cut ties unless you had a good reason.
What's the problem with letting girls crash and fuucking em again in the morning?
That's pretty cold and makes it seem like all you wanted was sex with a random object, since not letting her spend that same night implies you don't like spending time with her as a person at all, and that the dates were just fake shiit to get your diick wet. I think most self respecting women would get upset or cut ties unless you had a good reason.
What's the problem with letting girls crash and fuucking em again in the morning?
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SW15
Master Don Juan
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I don't think it's a big deal. I also wouldn't read that much into it in terms of her desire for commitment either. Are you not wanting her to sleep over due to not wanting to commit to exclusivity or be pressured for exclusivity?
roaming shark
Don Juan
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I avoid them especially early. It generates unnecessary and superficial attachment
BackInTheGame78
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I will let them stay over but I won't stay over at theirs for a while. I'm at my best in the mornings in regards to sex.
IKO69
Master Don Juan
Well you piped her man, she's in the palm of your hand now. Emotions are running high - she will probably push you more and more to become serious and that's really what her outburst was all about.
Don't worry about her being upset. She will likely hit you up soon. I think you did the right thing. If you don't do sleep overs with girls you barely you know, then that's that. If you are firm about it she'll respect you more
Don't worry about her being upset. She will likely hit you up soon. I think you did the right thing. If you don't do sleep overs with girls you barely you know, then that's that. If you are firm about it she'll respect you more
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Doctor Europeo
Moderator
You had sex, you won. At that point, I wouldnt mind letting her spend the night.
FlexpertHamilton
Master Don Juan
I sleep much better sleeping alone.
There are studies that show married couples who sleep in seperate beds get far better sleep.
Biggest issue for me is the fact that I like it around 64F which is too cold for 100% of women. They also want to cuddle which also warms me up way too much to sleep. And if you're a very light sleeper it's hard to share a bed no matter what, since they'll wake you up constantly with their tossing and turning or snoring.