"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Sir_Chancealot's Advanced Sexual Techniques

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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S

Schotten

Don Juan
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Extremly great post but... Why on earth isn't analsex mentioned?
 
L

LearningSlowly

Master Don Juan
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Wow. I'm so incredibly late to the party, but I have to return to a question that's been asked a few times.

Talking dirty. I can't do it. I appreciate the two styles, that much makes sense to me. I guess I'll have to read romance novels and watch porn to get some research in, but if someone happens to see this and knows what they're talking about... well, I'd thank you for the help.
 
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